megfowler.com

Frightening things that begin with two C’s : clown cars, calculus camp entertainment (actually, that’s the most awesome thing I’ve ever seen), colon cleanses, coffee condoms, and coke cake.

I wonder if Jack LaLanne lies awake at night listening to the carrots scream.

Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Give him a bunch of carp, and they’ll just nibble his toes.

Nerf Uber Alles:

I always get “Osmonds” and “almonds” confused.

A little something for your Tuesday:

Ahhh! How cooltowns is that?

And how cooltowns is it that I have coined a new term for good things: cooltowns!

For something to be cooltowns, it needn’t be cool OR a town, but just something you really, really like.

I, for one, cannot stop saying it. I am also a giant nerdface, but hey:

nataliedee.com

Ever been inspired by a wiener?

Don’t answer that.

Really.

Just make a list of things you love here, or at your own bloggity (but if you do it there, leave the link in the comments so we can all share in the love.)

THINGS I LOVE, YO.

Metromint water
Bill Murray
Coordinating baked goods with fashion
Baby bunnies
Air conditioning in stores
Ira Glass
Breaking things with a karate chop (like rice cakes, or RyKrisp, or styrofoam… but now I’m just being redundant)
Making your own salad dressing
Lite-Brite
Windex
Blue sky days:

Jasmine green tea
That my nails and hair have suddenly become like IRON!
Moving from crying to laughing
This shark, which someone should give me as a gift
Architectural photos
Twilight on my deck:

Tanned toes
A man in a well-cut suit
Eating babies:

(I did not actually consume him, I just held him.)

Seeing the mold in my water bottle just BEFORE I took a deep swig
“That summery glow”
Our new hanging baskets:

And finally, my sunglasses:

And you?

(Remember — no “it depends” or “both!” or “neither”… you must choose!)

Robert Redford or Paul Newman?

Bill Murray or Steve Martin?

Fred Astaire or Gene Kelly?

Elvis Costello or Elvis Presley?

George Clooney or Brad Pitt?

Ella Fitzgerald or Billie Holiday?

Garrison Keillor or David Sedaris?

Stevie Wonder or Al Green?

Sophia Loren or Marilyn Monroe?

Lawrence Welk or Percy Faith?

Miles Davis or John Coltrane?

Tina Fey or Sarah Silverman?

Denzel Washington or Russell Crowe?

Ron Popeil (of SET IT AND FORGET IT fame) or Billy Mays (OXY CLEAN!)

John Cusack or Matthew Broderick?

Benicio Del Toro or Javier Bardem?

Robert DeNiro or Al Pacino?

Grace Kelly or Audrey Hepburn?

Jimmy Stewart or Cary Grant?

Bob or Doug?

Julia Roberts or Reese Witherspoon?

Roger Moore or Sean Connery?

Salma Hayek or Penelope Cruz?

Matt Damon or Ben Affleck?

Lucille Ball or Carol Burnett?

My lovely roommate and best friend Catherine “commutes” with me on Wednesday mornings, since she works the early shift that day and I… well, I work early every day.

Sigh.

I ride in her car until she’s almost at work, then I hop off and catch a bus the rest of the way.

Two things you need to know:

1. Catherine is not a morning person. At all. By any stretch of the imagination.
2. I am an all-day person.

What this means:

1. I can talk coherently from pretty much the first second I’m awake (nanny and camp counselor represent!)
2. Catherine is not yet ready to understand anything I’m saying.

Which is what led to our conversation this morning:

Meg: Apparently, Buzz and Jen and their baby got some bad fish yesterday. They were sick all day.

Cat (with notable disdain): What is a batfish?

Meg: BAD fish. You know, like tainted?

(At this point, laughter ensues for MILES. Stomach-pain-causing, mascara-ruining laughter. Finally, I get out the question.)

Meg: What did you think a batfish was?

Cat: You know… like you can have silverfish. You know silverfish? Isn’t that a thing you get?

Meg: In your house, yeah. Like bugs?

Cat: Oh… ?

(More laughter ensues for miles and miles…)

Meg: But a batfish? What would that even look like? What would that even BE?

Cat: Well, they have catfish, don’t they? That rhymes!

And now you know why I love her so.

Today, Apple’s iPhone launched in Canada, after weeks and weeks of kerfuffle over data plans and whatnot. In fact, there was so MUCH kerfuffle that Steve Jobs yanked iPhones from Canadian Apple stores, and left the sales to Rogers/Fido in their own branded stores.

As I write this, people are lined up to get their hands on 3GB of magicalsomethingorother.

But I’m not going to link to any of the drama because a) I’m not in line for one; b) I won’t be in line for one; c) IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH LOVE.

Because what else are Fridays for around here, if not LOVE?

I mean, you can love your iPhone… but can you *love* your iPhone?

And will it love you back?

They don’t have an app that will do that… yet.

As always, I encourage you to rock your own random love list in the comments here, or to whip one up at your own blog, and leave us the link in comments. The more love we can get going on, the better the weekend will be.

So use a little space in your day to celebrate the things that make you tingle… even just one or two. Really.

Because one of the things I love most is hearing about what other people love!

THINGS I LOVE

My iPod Touch… because IT WILL NEVER RING
Cafe au lait
Remembering dreams I had the night before
Waves
Humour so dry it makes your lips chap
Calling people by dorky pet names
Herb gardens
Sour keys
My deck
My mom and dad
Big, fat overbloomed peonies
Ironic Sans
Messy salt water hair
Freckles aplenty
Local strawberries
Sundresses
Cute words like omelette and apricot and bliss
Serious breath mints
Stuff White People Like
Beachy smells like coconut and jasmine and kukui nut
Gifts for no reason at all
My loyal Havaianas
Wishing for a mashup of “Somebody’s Watching Me” and “Moonshadow”
Denim skirts
Yawny stretches
Toast and peanut butter
Knowing when self-deprecation starts to be self-fulfilling
Good tippers
Lemon in marinades
Birkenstock Madrids in fun colours but mostly white (which I have not managed to find a single pair of in stock anywhere. Yes, I know it’s granola. But it’s SLEEK granola!)
The millions of jokes you can make about Koi ponds
Eating peppers straight from the jar
Chair dancing
White tank tops
Font Charades

And you?

haiku for you meg
we are the bestest roommates
i watch you at night.

dusty fax machine
you are the steve guttenberg
of office supplies

pencil sharpener
much too dull to make a point
you should try blogging

I’d edit it, but this email was fantastic all by itself.

My dad is a longtime hockey fan (who lost some of his love when the new NHL rules broke) who has been watching the Canucks organization beat itself about the head during the offseason with no small amount of chagrin.

Here are his thoughts…

***

iDaughter: (ed. note: that’s what he calls me via email)

In the past 24 hours, you have posted items both sad and sweet — but now you need to address something serious: the sad state of your beloved hockey team, and why they have lost their soul and their captain and have done nothing in free agency.

I offer an opinion. (ed.note: I am used to this…)

Ownership once again misfired and hired a GM who has no NHL experience as a GM — and worse, they hired a former player agent. Player agents are essentially parasites who really offer nothing of value to professional sports.

Players tolerate them (but don’t love them) and general managers hate them with a passion because they are responsible for players thinking they are worth more than they really are. Now, some general managers who likely have a serious hate on for Gillis are enjoying payback time and they won’t trade with him, and players likely don’t want to deal with him either.

When the Griffith family sold the team it was the beginning of a slow descent into mediocrity and less.

Come on now! Raise the ire of fans, challenge them to show management how they feel (don’t buy tickets, jerseys, pay-per-view, etc.) and perhaps ownership will realize that the Canucks fans will not continue to pour money into watching a losing team. (ed. note: This is hard for me, because I DO love the sport and I DO love lots of the players — it would be like management ruining things for them TWICE… and I’m not sure the lesson would get through to Gillis and his cronies anyway.)

They need a GM with solid, winning NHL experience — even on an interim basis — and they need a coach with a winning NHL record. They are one of the wealthiest teams in one of the richest markets in the NHL (I believe they rank # 5) so it is time to give the fans the management, coaching and team they deserve for all of their faithful support.

(ed. note: COULD NOT AGREE MORE!)

Amen! (ed. note: he is a Baptist minister. I think this is more of a “selah” moment, but….)

***

When I asked if I could post this “as is”:

“As long as you edit it for style, wit and panache (ed. note: not necessary), and mention that there are likely sports writers and broadcasters in Vancouver who think the same thing but are not permitted to print it or say it.”

Totally agree. And if they could, we might start to see some rumblings of change. But for now, it’s up to my dad to bring it!

15 Things I’m Thankful For Right Now

1. Sunshine and blue skies in oft-rainy Vancouver.
2. Spending time with my dear friend Eric while he’s in town macking on my roommate (his girlfriend, Catherine).
3. Coffee in my round turquoise mug
4. The smell of coconut in my Skin Trip lotion.
5. My mom’s soft heart and my dad’s sense of humour.
6. That I live in a place where I can find fresh food to eat all the time, and I have the money to do it.
7. For the ability to make plans and dream dreams and actually have them come true.
8. The patience and grace my friends show me.
9. That my neck seems to be on the mend today!
10. For music, and how much it changes and shapes my day.
11. For the freedom to put my thoughts up here, and your kindness in reading them.
12. For memories of perfect summer moments — Nat Bailey baseball games, lying on the beach at La Jolla, checking out the whales at Sea World, road trips with windows down, slurpees by the pool. living in flip flops. (See above)
13. Windex. I just think it’s awesome.
14. Laughter, even at inopportune moments.
15. You.

That was the title my dad suggested, and who am I to quibble?

Mike the kitten passed away today under the vet’s advisement and my mom’s heartbreaker of a decision, the victim of probable feline leukemia and multiple infections that left him well below his optimum weight — 1/3 of what he should have been. My mom was there until the end, because that’s the kind of mom she is.

He was buried at the farm tonight, with full honours.

Mike, you had lovely big ears and dear eyes, and we will miss your kitten future. You made a lot of us smile just by, well… being.

Way to have heart, little guy.

Thanks to my mom and dad for welcoming such a wee, fragile one in, and for taking care of him until it was his time to go.

I had not met Mike yet, so I suppose I have no call to be sad… but I’m crying anyway.

If you’re small and need love, you have my heart from the get-go, no matter what.