megfowler.com

I can’t believe how fun this is!

I know.

I said I was “too busy to update”, which I was at the time and still am, but really? Leaving this place untended makes me itchy.

So, as Emily Litella would say (thanks, Dad): never mind.

How is everyone? Doing okay? Keeping warm and dry? TELL ME HOW.

AND CAN I COME VISIT WHERE YOU ARE?

Sorry.

How am I?

Well, I’ve got a giant, red toe. And not in any festive way, either, but because of a blister from shopping in the wrong shoes (SEE? SHOES BAD. FREEDOM FOR TOES GOOD) that has become this puffy miasma of pain. I can’t even fit it in a shoe. Maybe it’s infected, and will become a replay of the Great StaphLeg of 2003, where I nearly lost a limb because of a tiny cut from a van door and had to be on IV antibiotics daily for two weeks. Huzzah!

I also have a piece of hair that falls in my eyes every ten seconds. Or it did, until I secured it with a paper clip. Classy, no?

When you have extra-fine (and I don’t mean that in the Breck Girl sense, but rather the “hair of a four year old” sense, if four year olds had had to dye out some bad highlights in the early 2000’s and liked to use hot rollers fairly often) hair that flops about like a trout on your head depending on how the wind blows, you’ve got to use a fair amount of hairspray or several hairbands or a half-can of shellac just to keep any style in place.

Unfortunately, the weather in Vancouver does not care for my preventative measures and when I walked out my door this morning, WHOOSH…. I became Trout Head in a matter of seconds.

Without the scales and odd smell, that is.

I don’t even know what I’m talking about anymore.

The point is, HELLO.

TELL ME ABOUT YOU.

TELL ME ABOUT YOUR DAY.

DO YOU HAVE A BOBBY PIN?

WHERE IS MY COFFEE?

I’m like a weed, what with sprouting up places today:

The very kind Rod Templeton says I have a distinctive voice. And he hasn’t even heard me laugh! Thanks, Rod!

The very, very savvy (and also effortlessly attractive) Darren Barefoot and Julie Szabo of Capulet Communications wrote an eBook on how marketers should be using social media. I’m IN it! And no, not as an example of “what not to do!”

Check it out at SocialMediaReady.com. They’re brilliant.

(see if you can guess which is which!)

1. The Mac swirling beach ball of delay.
2. Boys on the phone.
3. Oprah.
4. A fake lint spider.
5. My smoking blow dryer.
6. My tangly eyebrows.
7. Underwire set free.

1. My pantleg.
2. My Mac power cord.
3. A small dog.
4. Air.
5. A rolled up newspaper on the doorstep.
6. My shower curtain.
7. The foot of a man on the bus.
8. The bus steps.
9. A large piece of lint I mistook for a spider. (More of a leap)
10. Logic

A few weeks ago, I was going to post my own little online shopping guide full of links to things I love — not just for gifts, but for YOU! Then it occurred to me that this was an area WELL realized by about a MILLION AND A HALF other bloggers and sites and web magazines.

So I didn’t do it.

Then it occurred to me — because that’s what I do, I sit around and wait for stuff to occur to me — that none of them would be MY little shopping/lusting guide, and even if I coincided up the wazoo with other sites or my links were dopey or I ended up suggesting things that somehow offended my mother, to thine own self be true, mmm?

So here we go!

I’ll be posting under “Girly Thingies”, “House and Life Thingies”. Because it’s not a gift guide… it’s just stuff I like. And I didn’t really feel like organizing it much.

You’ll see clearly here how eclectic my tastes are, too. Which I think is either a good quality of mine, or evidence of multiple personalities. Either way, it makes me fun at parties.

Enjoy!

GIRLY THINGIES

Jennifer Meyer Jewelry – As with any time of year, I would take ANYTHING from her collection. Gorgeous.

France Luxe Italian Headbands – Perfect width, perfect “holdback”.

Havis — WHY DON’T YOU OWN A MILLION JILLION PAIRS LIKE I DO??

Soia & Kyo Coat — How CUTE IS THAT.

Benefit Powder Pop! — These powders warm and glow like none other.

NARS Night Palette — Love these colours. Perfect winter shades for making eyes come alive.

Shu Uemura Eyelash Curler — The one. The best. The only.

Oscar Blandi Olio di Jasmine — Fantastic-smelling, and lush for winter hair.

Theory Sweater Coat — I can’t even handle the cozy.

Coach Bleeker – I have an odd lust for this bag.

Alessi White Mariposa Watch — Love it. So sleek.

MoonVenom — “Celestial” lip gloss? Maybe not, BUT… this stuff has a great opalescent party sheen and a warm cinnamon-y tingle that I love. It’s the perfect “re-apply” at a party when you don’t want to do the whole lipstick rigamarole, because it brings out the natural colour of your lips. Which is probably better at 2 am than Candy Apple Red, yes? But if you really want big lips, try…

TooFaced Lip Injection Extreme — For Angelina’s lips without all the kids.

Orange Button Wood Bangles — I love the tone of these. So warm.

MAC Sheerspark Pressed Powder — Holiday Glow 101. Sparkle without sparkle. Could I be more vague? And I love the sassy compact.

BR Pendant Necklace — So simple, but I love the personal, yet unassuming look of the pendant. Nice with a white shirt or v-neck sweater. And cheap!

Stila Lip Shines — Nice and natural… like lips, but shimmery-better.

Winifred Grace Nesting Dome Earrings — These earrings have the perfect shape to elongate necks like mine (what neck?) and the perfect tone to warm up winter skin. A little (a lot!) pricey, but they’re definitely not earrings you’ll see on everyone else. You can dress them up or down, too, which is something I require in my pieces.

Frederic Fekkai Mini Glossing Kit — Traveling during the holidays? This is your best take-along to keep winter-dry or (in my climate) winter-frizzy hair in shiny, happy condition. I have baby-fine hair, and the Glossing Creme is light enough to keep it in check without greasing it down — but I also know crazy curly-heads who find it works well for them, too. And the best part? It smells like magic.

Marc Jacobs Hobo Bag — I know. Dream on.

Origins SHEdonism Set — I love the warm, soothing fragrance, and this stuff is incredibly moisturizing.

Isaac Mizrahi for Target Shawl-Collar Cashmere Sweater — Isaac! Target! Cashmere! WIN WIN!

Bloodwood Dome Ring from Studio AMF — I love wooden rings. The natural texture and warm feel are perfect for sweater-and-jeans days, and the shape and colour of them is modified over time by your skin and the shape of your finger. I also love BIG rings (since, you know, my fingers are about an inch long and clearly I need something giant) and this fits the bill. Perfect statement for tanned summer hands or lotion-covered winter hands.

Philosophy Coconut Scrub — Pretend it’s summertime. Just do it.

Origins NoPuffery Eye Gel — Post-party perfection.

Comptoir Sud Pacifique Candles — Magical in the bedroom or bathroom. Like me.

Weleda Skin Food — Smells so good, and is a cure-all for dryness in general.

HOUSE AND LIFE THINGIES

cb2 Phantom Table Lamp – I love the simplicity of the design and the round, organic shape. Perfect for a low-key bedroom.

C&B Bamboo Dinnerware — Great for kids or outdoors.

KitchenAid Tool Set — I love the colour, I love the design, and I love the price!

Bodum 32-Ounce Stainless Coffee Press — Because you need a LOT OF COFFEE.

Pottery Barn Great White Dinnerware – I love white dishes. Food just looks better on them.

Pikku Papers — Just really lovely little designs and whimsical details.

Bed, Bath & Beyond Chevron Throws — The design of this throw adds great texture to a plain chair or couch.

1000 Gram Turkish Towels — Yeeeeeeah.

cb2 Acacia Thick Wood Mirror — I love wood. I love mirrors.

Origo Dinner Plates — Simple design, but a lovely hit of colour for a basic table.

Frette Sheets — This is my favourite set. Goooorgeous.

ThinkGeek SunJars — Store a little sunshine for later.

Tiffin Lunch Box Sets — Cool enough to make me want to bring a lunch to work.

Riedel Stemless Glasses — I really like stemless wineglasses… fingerprints be damned!

cb2 comma plates — Perfect for messy appies at a party.

Jiti Branches Bedding — 100% dupioni silk with a muted pattern that would fit into a ton of different decorating schemes. A bit of luxury, no?

cb2 peace dove ornaments — A little tree decorated with shiny birds? Yes, please.

notNeutral Outdoor Metal Lantern — Very chic around your deck or patio!

Soleus Halogen Heater with Remote — Know any chilly souls? This fan-shaped heater fires up fast and runs safely.

Elum Cards — I love good stationery. Love it. And this stuff has such a lovely look and feel. Done your Christmas cards yet?

Campfire Votive — AAAAAA THE CUTE!!!

I’ve had a giant, wicked crush on David Letterman for more than 17 years.

I have about 250 Christmas songs on my iPod.

I send more than 1,000 texts every month.

I eat about 1.5 meals a day.

My ring size is a 5.5.

The most hot wings I have ever eaten in one sitting was 45. And that was wrong.

I can only hold my breath for 1 minute.

I own 18 different Norton Anthologies from my degree.

My average latte has 3 shots of espresso.

I own 16 pairs of Havaianas.

I learned to read when I was 2.

I have only 8 toenails.

My blog has been live for 17 months.

I get an average of 8.6 comments per blog post.

I can tie a cherry stem into a knot with my tongue in under 15 seconds.

I used to run a staff of 110 every summer.

I’ve moved 16 times, which is roughly once every 2 years.

I ate 25 whole jalepenos to win a contest.

The longest I’ve gone without coffee since I was 16 is 40 days.

The next longest time after that was 3 days. Oops.

I’ve grown 5 inches since I was 17. And 2 of those happened since age 30.

I’ve been a camp counsellor for more than 700 girls.

13 of those girls are currently my Facebook friends.

I have 12 kinds of lip balm/gloss in my purse right now.

I’ve only owned 1 pet on my own.

I’ve been in love once. Or twice. Or three times, if you count my laptop.

Last year’s Christmas posts, in case you needed more reasons to put the TREE UP NOW:

The longest Christmas post EVER.

My roommate and I love on the season.

Okay, okay. I know I’m completely buying into a marketing scheme here. And really, doing some advertising for a corporation that most certainly shouldn’t get my lovin’ for free.

Still.

THE RED CUPS ARE IN AT STARBUCKS!

And apparently I am Googlefamous for discussing it within a couple hours!

I have loved the red cups for years, long before I worked for the company and survived the mania that is Christmas at Starbucks.

The mania challenged it, really. But it could not conquer it.

Even if it really tried.

When I was working as a barista, I steamed more jugs of eggnog than anyone should have to in a lifetime, especially given that it smells like cat food after about 120 F.

I don’t even want to talk about the rich people giving me five minute lectures on how their children wanted their hot chocolate. Suffice it to say, even a child who can barely walk can apparently ask for extra whip and a milk temperature of exactly 107 F.

The really surreal part was selling thousand dollar espresso machines to people who continued to come in morning and night to buy their cuppa from me. This was a function of serving as my store’s “Red Apron”, which really means that I ran around trying to convince people that they needed more red and green mugs!

More! More!

Oh, well.

That’s ancient history.

And RED CUPS ARE NOW!

I wanted to have a gingerbread latte in my first red cup of the season, but I made the mistake of going to the Twilight Zone Starbucks, where the guy at the counter always thinks he knows my drink and starts making it when I walk in the door.

A different drink every time, mind you.

And never the right one.

But he seems so excited, I never have the heart to say NO I DON’T WANT THAT. Well, a couple times I have, but that’s just because he was trying to slip me some soy.

Which sounds wrong.

Anyway.

RED CUPS! WOO!

I really, really like getting rid of stuff.

I like giving it away or recycling it or throwing it out or even just tossing it into the air and closing my eyes and hoping God claims it from the ether.

I like it when I can empty a drawer or closet or cupboard completely.

I like it when everything that’s left is in great condition, and there’s nothing old or broken or sketchy lying around to take away from the magic of the functional, the new, and the loved.

I am whatever the opposite of a packrat is. Maybe the rat who leaves the sinking ship full of old theater programs and sweaters with holes under the arms and Christmas lights that don’t work and dated issues of the Utne Reader?

Maybe it’s the fact that I’m OCD, or maybe I’ve moved too many times, or maybe I’m just weird.

But once I’ve gathered a solid store of clutter — which may not look like clutter to anyone else, but goodbye! — I hit it like Hurricane Glad Bag and soon there’s nothing but a misfiled cheque stub and 3/4 of a tube of lip gloss that I only wear when I have a tan.

I do this with my email and computer files, too. Even .jpgs and mp3s, once I’ve had enough of looking at a picture or listening to a song.

This is both weird and unnecessary, because I still have 80 GB of space on my hard drive and 21 GB of space on my iPod and 2 GB of space in my Gmail.

It’s just that there’s nothing more satisfying to me than clearing the decks. It’s blissful. It’s euphoric.

And sometimes it’s just problematic.

Why? Because I can’t afford to replace all the things I get rid of. Once I was left with two pairs of pants in the whole wide world because I decided to throw out everything that had stains or rough hems or made me look like a dreidel.

Or there was the time I gave away all my furniture to my friends, simply because my room felt too small.

Or the time I accidentally shredded a cheque in my zeal to avoid identity theft.

Stellar, I know.

I’m going to have to stop doing this when I have children. I don’t want to end up throwing out their report cards or Kiwanis Festival Awards or favourite t-shirts or comic cooks because I have a sudden fit of spatial clarity.

Which is a great reason to take my addiction in hand now. And tonight will be my first test.

My mom is bringing by five boxes of “stuff” — kitchen stuff, old writing of mine, old stuffed animals, heaven only knows what else — for me to sort through and keep.

They’re in the midst of a fairly dramatic move to a new place altogether (stress! stress!), and so they’re having to wade through all their stuff from spending several years in one community, and all my grandfather’s stuff from, well… being old.

Fortunately, they’ve moved a lot, too, and exfoliated their belongings many times over the years. And my grandfather was not unlike me in his need to get rid of a whole bunch of stuff every now and then. This means that most of what I am looking through today will be valuable in some way.

Oy.

So.

Don’t. Buy. Garbage. Bags.

Learn to cherish.

Try storing things correctly so they don’t feel like clutter.

Or, you know, have your mom duct-tape you to a wall while she goes through the boxes.