megfowler.com

This is my 900th post.

Which doesn’t actually mean too much at my blog, because I’ve actually written 1354 posts.

I just deleted the other 454 because I thought they were boring, or thought you thought they were boring, or they made my mom cry, or I was getting freaky Google hits.

This is not a recommendation for what remains, of course. I’m sure I’ve left a lot of tripe/fluff/silliness behind.

BUT!

In honour of this, the 900th Post Not Yet Deleted, tell me a little about YOU! Delurk! Come on out! Hello!

1. Who are you? (be as thorough or as vague as you like)
2. What are you wearing?
3. What’s the last thing you ate?
4. How did you get here? (the blog, not the planet)
5. Been here long?

… because MAN ALIVE, do you people know how to bring out the trash!

I love it. I love it so much.

And so does my faithful roommate and heterolifemate, Catherine, who phoned me from work to relive a few of the best comments. Honestly, folks — the best way to realize you’re not all that weird is to look around you and SEE THE MAGIC.

You are all magic.

And should keep being magic, if you haven’t posted your weird/trashy/awkward/problematic confessions yet below.

Here are three more of mine:

I own a Diana, Princess of Wales paper doll kit where her base outfit is royal underwear. I have no idea where it is (I’ve moved too many times, and so have my parents…) but I find it kind of creepy at this point. Granted, I got it in 1982 (were some of you people even alive yet?), but still.

I really, really, really enjoy the skin on KFC chicken. No, I don’t find it too salty or greasy or SKINNISH… I just love it. Mmm. And the more gross you think it is, the more left for me! Woo!

I sing into my thumb in the car like it was a microphone. And in grocery stores. And pretty much anywhere.

Anyway. Do share. Do tell. We can’t wait to learn more.

In other news, I am buying actual shoes next week — maybe even three pairs! Which would bring my non-heel shoe total to… five pairs! — and need to think of a decent flat shoe that is not a boot or a running shoe or a walking shoe or a nurse shoe or a mom shoe.

I love ballet flats, but can’t seem to find a pair that don’t fall apart or give me the mother of all blisters on my heel. Which heals eventually (HEEL HEAL HEEL HEAL), but still.

Any suggestions?

OH! And…

If you could choose a category as yet uncategorized and unwritten at MegFowler.com, what would it be?

OH! And…

The Canucks lost by six points last night. I don’t expect anything as devastating as this to happen again, but I feel terrible for the guys. The fan bashing afterwards can’t be doing them much good in prepping for the next two games, either.

Let’s not decide we’re going to lose all season because of a couple bad contests. That’s like ending your marriage because you fight over whether to have the toilet paper roll over or under (over, by the way.) JUST MOVE ON.

And I hate “stat hexes”, too. Who cares if we lose to a team all the time? That doesn’t mean we can’t nail them now.

One more thing: Jesse Boulerice? You think you’re awesome railing on our Kes when you’re 5 points in the lead? Yeah. Meet me in the alley behind my house and I’ll give you the cross-checking of your LIFE.

OH! And…

WHAT THE FREAK! I see her going both ways. Alternately. Randomly. I keep thinking that shouldn’t work because of the lines of her body and anatomy but it HAPPENS! AAAA!!

This was honestly one of the funniest posts that has ever appeared on my blog, and certainly not because of the writing… no, no.

It was all about the comments. Seriously. Read them. Go do it now.

I couldn’t believe how many absolutely magical trashy confessions you guys came up with.

And because it’s a rainy Wednesday, and because I have a headache, and because I feel like it, I figured we should dip into the well of shame once again and give class a pass!

Throw open those closets! Pull out those skeletons!

Show me the bag of ranch-flavoured Cornuts in your desk drawer! Reveal the playlist with NKOTB on your iPod! Tell me what you wear in the privacy of your own home when no one but Judge Alex can look out at you from the TV!

Here are mine:

MEG’S 2007 TRASHY CONFESSIONS:

1. I have songs by all the following artists on my iPod (in one single playlist, in fact): K7, Notorious B.I.G, Ginuwine, Jordan Knight, Def Leppard, Guns N Roses, KISS, and AC/DC. I know they don’t go together. That’s why I love that playlist. And hide my iPod so no one can see the screen when I’m listening to it on the bus.

2. I actually considered getting “skinny” (and that’s a misnomer, considering my ass) jeans to wear with my future Uggs. Yeah. Did you hear that? That was the sound of the universe shattering into a thousand pieces. And all to avoid bunchy ankles with the updated version of moonboots. Or mukluks. Or wearing an entire sheep on your foot.

3. I have a big crush on Armando Montelongo on Flip This House. He’s a jerk a good portion of the time. He plays practical jokes on people. He treats his project managers like crap. Yet? I’d let him flip my house anyday.

4. I type my first name into Google.ca and Google.com to see where I am in the results: #5 for Meg on Google.ca today, and #13 on Google.com. Bastards.

5. I have more kinds of lip gloss than I have all of the following in combination: shoes, pants, and sweaters. Clearly I think it’s going to keep me warm.

6. I once killed a man, just to watch him die. JUST KIDDING.

7. I really love how my voice sounds when I have laryngitis. So I’ll sing the national anthem really loudly when I feel it going, just to help the process along.

8. My keychain looks like a giant engagement ring. No, I didn’t buy it (Matt and Catherine!) But I use it.

9. I like the garlic fries at Safeco Field, the scary artificial nachos at GM Place, and the cotton candy at Nat Bailey Stadium.

10. I embrace the power of cleavage.

11. I own a giant white beanbag chair. It got sent to my office. I can’t figure out how to get it home. More on that later.

Okay… so tell me.

What’s trashy about YOU?

People!

I have two major posts brewing: one on our vacation, and one on the current (and delicious!) hockey season.

They will both be magical.

Unfortunately, I CAN’T DO THEM BECAUSE I HAVE NO TIME. Kind of. Sort of. But they’re coming! They are!

Until then, let’s catch up a bit, shall we?

1. How is everyone doing?
2. How is the weather where you are?
3. Are you wearing pants?
4. Do you wish you weren’t?
5. What are you making me for lunch?
6. What was the last song you heard?
7. If you could use one word to describe me, what would it be?
8. If you could use one word to describe marshmallows, what would it be?

Just a question.

In order to answer this question, you must:

1. Be a girl (Well, you can be a guy and recommend shoes, but only if they make a girl version)
2. Over-pronate when you run
3. Own running shoes

I’m looking to buy a good, solid pair of running shoes for my upcoming fitness kick (who knows how long it will last? WHO CAN EVER KNOW?!) and I’m considering Mizuno Alchemy shoes right now (for some reason, I can’t get images to load on that site, but you can read the description. They might load on the American site.)

What do you wear? Do you like them? What shoes HAVEN’T worked for you?

I’ve had bad experiences with New Balance shoes, and Saucony shoes. Nikes have fit well. I LOATHE UGLY SHOES. I know, I know.

Go!

I’m thinking through 8,000,000 things in my life right now, from big issues to tiny wonderings.

Your answers always give me a ton of perspective.

So!

1. Why do you live where you live?
2. Why do you do the job you do?
3. Why are you with the person you’re with?
4. If you could change one thing about your life today, what would it be?
5. What is the greatest source of happiness in your life?
6. What is the greatest source of discontent in your life?
7. If you were handed $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
8. What is your favourite quality in a friend?
9. What is an unforgivable mistake in a friendship?
10. What is a true relationship dealbreaker for you?

There, there… I’m back.

Did you miss me?

Oh.

Okay, did you notice I wasn’t writing?

Oh.

Okay, did you have a nice week?

Sigh.

My Love List (why aren’t you all doing Friday Love Lists? GET ON THAT) will be coming soon, but in the meantime, a short burst of questions just to get your juices flowing again…

1. If you could eat anything in the world right now, what would it be?
2. What’s the nickname people call you that you hate the most?
3. If you could head to any city on earth and do three things that were fun, where would you go, and what would you do?
4. What song drives you completely batty?
5. Cheese: God’s gift to the palate, or smelly object of your intolerance?

A haiku for today:

oh cloudy city
more like november are you
without cute sweaters

Sigh.

It’s a bit… muggy? Cloudy? Blah? Pre-rainy? Belligerent? outside today. That’s why I’m glad that I’m warm and dry inside, curled up in my comfy office chair with a giant vat of pure extracted caffeine and a straw.

Mmm… direct.

After a somewhat busy weekend away from home, and a rush of chores last night, I had a hard time sleeping once I finally coaxed my head onto the pillow. In the end, I think I got about four hours.

And that? Just is NOT enough anymore.

So I’m doing my best to be chipper right now, even as my eyelids threaten to go on strike.

I’m going to need your help.

Entertain me!

1. Tell me a crazy anecdote from your childhood that will make me laugh out loud.

2. Tell me where you would be today if you could be anywhere doing anything with anyone… and money’s no object!

3. If there was a song that describes your life right now, what is it? If you can find a video of it on YouTube, include that!

4. What annoying habit should they send you to rehab for?

5. What do you wish you were eating right this moment?

GO!

1. Staying up for four nights straight and still finding too many fun things to do on Night Five that didn’t involve resting.

2. I had never seen a gray hair. On my head, that is.

3. I hadn’t been in love yet. The idea still seemed perfect at that point, too.

4. Being five feet tall. My arms were still “to scale.”

5. Limo rides with Margaret, Gregg, Jeff and Glenn (Well, just the one. But it was sweetness incarnate.)

6. I still had four years to believe I would be married with a fabulous job at a newspaper by 25.

7. Counseling gaggles of girls at summer camp (some of which are 29 now! What?)

8. My two front teeth (later to be demolished repeatedly in freak karaoke microphone incidents)

9. About 90% less mistakes made (21-33 has been a rich time… )

10. The everyday pleasures: cheap wings; HUB coffee; 48 variations on fettuccine; playing Oilman until 4 am; sitting in laundromats for hours; getting stuck in snowbanks in giant old cars; wearing snow boots with dresses and not even knowing how Fundamentalist Mormon I likely looked; pre-internet existence; meeting paper deadlines on sheer force of will; and my whole big gorgeous future, totally untouched.

Someone asked me today if I would go back and do things differently. Something tells me, though, that I’d make all the same mistakes, because I’m still the same girl.

If I knew what to avoid, though?

What do you think? Anything you miss?

meg’s feet were here

People always tell me that Internet activities slow down in the summertime, because everyone is spending their time outdoors and heading off on vacations.

Which is true… to a point.

But the almighty Facebook has proven to me that MY contention was right all along. People ARE online all summer — posting tanned photos of themselves, updating their statii to reveal their next sunny destination, gloating about how they’re not at work… you name it.

And some of us who take our vacations in the fall (Cali! September! Woo!) are still at work, eating salad at our desks, surfing about the Web on our lunch hours, and wondering how people’s statii keep changing when they’re supposedly “at the beach.”

So, whether you’re sitting around in your bikini “just taking a moment online”, or sitting at work basking in air conditioning, I’ve got some questions…

1. Are you actually going anywhere on vacation this summer?
2. Are you going where you would ideally go? Where WOULD you ideally go?
3. What’s the weather like where you are?
4. How do you wish the weather was where you are?
5. What is your most important piece of summertime apparel?
6. What item of summertime apparel do you wish other people would STOP wearing?
7. Do you own Crocs?
8. Do you want to apologize?
9. Has the amount of time you spend online changed radically, or are you just pretending to be outside more often?
10. Mojito?

And remember: for every one of you that doesn’t answer, I’ll flail at a butterfly.