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I’m ready for the weekend.

I mean, I’m generally ready for a weekend the moment the weekend ends, but I’ve been awfully sleepy and injury/crisis prone this week.

How so, you say?

(Try saying that eight times fast! Or just the once! That’s fine, too!)

Well, this span of seven days included all of the following:

Being pursued by a rabid butterfly in my living room
Falling off the railing of my deck into a chair, and then a table, and then the door
Getting a bit of basil stuck in my eye for an hour, during which I began to see in Italian
Forgetting to put the top on the blender
Almost leaving my house without pants
Sending someone named Chris an email addressed to “Christ”
Exploding a bottle of Perrier on my shirt
Walking into a door that should have been automatic
Pulling a muscle folding laundry
Being posthumously attacked by a skunk
Inserting a toothpick into the palm of my hand

I’m ready for some smooth sailing.

And some love.

As always be sure to write your own list in the comments or pop one up on your own blog.

Love is the best way to end, begin, and survive any week. And those who write lists about love are destined to love a little harder the whole year through.

I have no proof of this, but we’ve already covered the amount of proof I need for anything.

THINGS I LOVE

Late 90’s R&B
Chair dancing to the above
Making mixtapes
Lemon potatoes (by my newly perfected recipe)
White tank tops
Skim milk
Quoting any of the following, though it makes me an impossible dork: Homestar Runner, Star Wars (mostly Chewy: AAAAAUUURRRRR), Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, So I Married An Axe Murderer, Monty Python, and Office Space
Nerf balls
Nectarines
Castanet solos
Bacon
MLB
Ira Glass (STILL!)
This song
Giant hoop earrings
The ocean
Clean sheets
Men in dark frame glasses
Antihistamines, bless their little hearts
People who can wink effectively
Laughing until my stomach twists into happy knots
Playoff hockey, even if it isn’t My Boys
Our lilac tree
Malie Kauai Lotion
Big white purses
The SUN!
Aloo Gobi and naan
Cafe au laits
Super fat bumblebees who ate too many donuts and ain’t stinging nobody, no how but CAN I PLEASE HAVE A FLOWER TO SIT ON
Stuff White People Like (oh, the irony)
Iced black tea/lemonade with lots of ice
Metallic ballet flats

I’ve been thinking about plagues lately.

I don’t really know where to take this post from there, other than to say NO, I DON’T KNOW WHY and NO, I’M NOT THE ANTICHRIST.

I have a feeling the Antichrist would watch fewer cooking shows and spend less time longing to jump on trampolines and potentially be less good with babies. Though babies would be a good place to start if you were going to take over the whole world. Babies or repub… no, no, I’m SO not going there.

But I digress, as I am wont to do. I am also wont to use the phrase “I digress” too often, but the reality is that I DO DIGRESS WITH SOME FREQUENCY. And use caps. Often. At the WRONG TIMES.

Back to the plagues.

Anyone watching the news is pretty familiar with the gamut of natural disasters and diseases currently available on the face of the earth. When I say currently available, I’m likely making it sound as though people choose them from a large drive-through menu board.

But, no… the reality is that a lot of bad things happen the world over, and suffering is the basis of 90% of what you see on CNN (the remainder being Larry King staring awkwardly at his own suspenders.)

I think if a biblical plague happened today, a boardroomful of producers in Atlanta would probably rejoice in the ratings potential.

I don’t want to hear what Anderson has to say about boils, though. I really don’t.

Or Larry, for that matter. Although I bet he has them. I JUST BET.

I think it’s time for some new calamity.

THINGS THAT RAIN DOWN ON US TODAY WITHOUT MERCY OR RELENT

Reality tv crews
Febreze
Stick-on bras
Chatspeak
Sundried tomatoes
Vegetarian options
Websites about cats
Pundits
Scientologists
“Alternate” tuxedos
Time shares
Skinny jeans
Oprah’s favourite things
Superdelegates
Swarming Gap employees
Juice blends
Spinoff series
Joe Francis
Ring tones
Leg warmers
Words ending in “licious” that were never meant to end in “licious”
Slipcovers
MySpace
Tiny wee dogs
Infomercials
Bloggers (WE ARE LEGION)
Butterfly tattoos
Frappuccinos
“New” country

Today is my mom’s birthday.

She’s turning 58.

She would have no problem with me telling you that, too, since people regularly marvel at her age because she looks so young. “You couldn’t possibly have a 37 year old son! And a daughter who looks 22 but is actually 34!”

Okay, so they don’t really say that. The first part, yes. The second part is me lying to myself, as I am wont to do.

But she’s beautiful, and talented, and funny, and the kind of person people depend on when they can’t depend on anyone else.

She’s everyone’s friend.

Everyone’s mom.

Everyone’s sister.

Everyone’s wife. No, I’m kidding.

I always know my mom will be there for me if I need something, because that’s just the kind of person she is. We might not always see eye to eye, but I love that, too… it means we’re both passionate and strong and secure enough in our relationship to be honest.

I know I’m blessed, to say the least.

And that’s why today’s Love List is for my mom!

It will come in two parts: Things My Mom Loves and Things I Love About My Mom.

And while I know you can’t really chime in with things you love about my mom unless you know her (and feel free, if you do!), but you can say Happy Birthday and rock a love list of your own anywhere you like.

Remember… Fridays are for lovin’.

Things My Mom Loves

My dad
Sean and Carey
Meg
Everyone else
Kids
Dinner parties with people she loves
Decorating and design — and she’s genius at it
Wearing black
Chinese food. Actually, Chinese anything.
Making people look beautiful with her sewing/seamstressing/design gifts
The world’s most irritating cat
Beverages with an unnatural amount of ice
Vanilla Noel lotion
British sitcoms
White towels
Swimming
Mystery novels
Traveling, which she doesn’t get to do often enough
Yellow roses
The raspberry iced tea-lemonade combo
Painting, drawing, sketching. Also genius.
Knitting to stay awake during DVDs
Her watch and bracelet and earrings. Never leaves home without wearing all three.
Cannon Beach, OR
Lecturing her daughter HAHAHAHA
Giant purses that look more like suitcases
Google Image Search
Her knee wedge pillow
Water. She always says (in restaurants when waiters asked her what she wanted to drink), “Oh, water’s fine…” and then takes a sip of hers. Every. Single. Time.
Kooky, strappy heels
A well-made bed
Blistex, which cures everything, apparently
HGTV
Restoring pieces she finds at Goodwill — lamps, “objets”, whatever catches her eye
Motown
Flip flops (you wonder where I got it from? both my parents wear them — though my dad only on the beach or in downtime)
MY BLOG!

and….

Things I Love About My Mom

Her big, amazing heart
Her way with a room — she is the butterfly, the soul, the includer
How she cries at like, EVERYTHING meaningful
Her ability to see what people need, and provide it for them without making them ask or feel silly
Her faith
Her sense of adventure and mischief
That I can still shock her by swearing, but not really
Her nurturing ways. I don’t like having people around when I’m sick, but no one gets it right like my mama.
Her love for my dad
How she shouts on cell phones until my dad (who is in the car with her) and I (on the other end) tell her SHHHHH
Her love of Google Image Search
When she scratches my feet for me
Watching her with babies and kids
Her eye for the right way to set up a room
Her encyclopedic brain
Her GIANT OWL SUNGLASSES
Her inability to clap and sing at the same time
That she holds my hand when we sing hymns when I visit my dad’s church
Her laugh… especially when she’s going so hard she’s crying
Her giant eyes
Her grace
Her sarcasm — yeeeowch!
Her cooking — mmm!
Her ability to tell a story and cry or laugh as she goes on because she’s so in the moment
Her generosity
Her strength of conviction and character, even when we butt heads
That I know her well enough to make a list of things she loves, and to make a list of things I love about her.

I LOVE YOU MOMMY!

I’m on the mend.

Really, truly.

Which is SO AWESOME I CAN’T EVEN STAND IT.

Sure, the cough and the Kathleen Turner-esque tone of voice remain (oh, who am I kidding? I still sound like a squirrel who swallowed a cactus), but the color is back in my face and I can honestly say I don’t wake up in the morning wishing someone would bundle me in a blanket, deposit me gently on the couch (SOFA), and bring me clear fluids.

Then again…

NEVER MIND! IT’S TIME FOR A LOVE LIST!

Today’s love list is going to be dedicated to counting the blessings in my life, since I have spent the last two months typing out some variation on MEH or FEH BLEH or MENEH here at my wee blog. It’s time to move on and push forward and look around and twinkle at things as best I can.

As always feel free to share your own love list in my comments or at your blog. Actually, you can do whatever you want at your blog because it’s YOUR FREAKIN’ BLOG.

THINGS I LOVE AND AM BLESSED BY

My parents, who show up randomly after I’m done work to take me places I need/want to go
New leaves on the trees
Words
Music that makes me feel more alive
New friends that make me laugh
Old friends that make me laugh
Sunshine!
Faith
Getting well
Being able to smell things again
Antibiotics
American boys
Learning to stop running myself down
A place to share what I feel about things, and what’s going on in my life
Clean water, which becomes REALLY special sometimes
Days where my pants don’t get soaked on the way to work
My roommate, Catherine, who shows me unconditional love and likes to clean as much as I do
Access to good, healthy, fresh food, even when it costs approximately $1K per heirloom tomato (GO WHOLE FOODS GO)
Color and light
Accountability
Wisdom
Wit
Grace
Patience
Forgiveness
Being challenged to write better
Other peoples’ babies and children growing up in amazing and beautiful ways
Enough money to give to others when they need it… not something that was always possible
Living in a home that is safe, warm and comfortable — deck door open, fireplace on! Woohoo!
Knowing what you want
Knowing what you need
Knowing the difference between want and need
Watching my friends parent with such dedication
Big amazing possibilities that make you eeeeeeeeeee with joy
Love

Also, a dear friend of mine and their family are facing a really tough, scary situation right now, and could use a little help. If you have the perpetual couple bucks rattling around in your PayPal account, I’d love to share some support with them. If not, no worries, of course — I certainly don’t have a right to ask, and I can’t provide you with any more details than that.

I’m helping as best I can, too. And I’ve definitely appreciated your support here for the single moms’ camp, for breast cancer research, for other friends’ blog projects/charities they love, and for other friends in need. I love the idea of a few people giving a little to make a big difference.

Just click here.

Thanks.

I really love the smell of bleach.

Have I ever told you that?

Love.

I mean, I don’t put the top of the bottle to my nose and inhale, but there’s something about the fragrance of a recently bleached surface that just says CLEAN. Oh, and GERM-FREE. Oh, and did I mention CLEAN?

I couldn’t sleep in this morning (the cough lingers, and maybe I am getting old?) so I hopped out of bed and started washing and polishing my house to a lovely OCD shine. And bleach got involved. And it was good.

But.

I didn’t get a chance to do my Friday Love List, so I figured I would do a Saturday Morning Love List in honor of bleach, the sunshine outside, the coffee perched on my lap, and everything else in life that is good and right.

Please feel free to share your own loves in comments or at your own sites. Spread the love!

THINGS I LOVE, RANDOMLY AND WITHOUT THEME

Bleach (you totally saw that one coming)
Bright mornings (ditto)
Coffee (now I’m just being annoying)
Farewells for dear friends who I can still see anytime I like
Hot wings
Our new vacuum
This song:

The blossoms coming out on our front tree
Kindness
This film:

Laughter that can’t be contained
Large eyes
Witty people who sparkle just a little
Jalepeno peppers
Edible-looking babies
A bit of redecorating
Being forgiven
Boys who drive standard
Looking at watches but never buying
Folding laundry
The promise of summer lurking in a high-sun sky
Iced tea, unsweetened
Everyone else’s sunglasses
Bare feet on green grass
Fresh bangs:

British real estate programs
Good intentions that give way to good actions
Interpretive dances by the photocopier
Antihistamines
Hugs
Plans
Lemon slices
Having the produce guy at Whole Foods compliment me on my choice of tomato
Imagining
Elvis Costello’s glasses. Also? Ira Glass’s glasses.
Old ladies laughing at Starbucks
You.

And you?

1. All that personal space you wanted on the bus/elevator/sidewalk? One cough, and people scurry like mice.

2. If your loved one is considering buying one of those expensive “Ocean Sound” simulators to help them sleep, just let them put their head on your chest. Also works for “Storm Sound” and “Cement Truck In Full Mix” simulators.

3. Who can get enough of illnesses with a silent “p”?

4. SARS jokes galore for April Fool’s.

5. It’s like the honour student version of a cold. Extra points for take home antibiotics!

6. If you swallow a goldfish in a college prank, that fish could well live happily in your lung for a year.

7. You can stand outside in the rain in bare feet with no coat or hat on, shivering, and when some old woman goes to yell at you as they walk by, you can yell: “NO, I WON’T! I ALREADY HAVE IT! SO THERE!”

8. People who come to hand you assignments at work tell you kindly that you should be home in bed.

9. You drink enough tea and juice to become the living embodiment of 1/3 of a continental breakfast.

10. You get fodder for a list that will probably make your mother wring her hands involuntarily while struggling to laugh.

I wasn’t going to do a love list today.

I’ve said that before.

Many times.

I’m like a broken record, really, or Girls Gone Wild! ads on late night television (with less skin and more sullen malevolence), or the lingual patterns of teenagers (”Rilly? No way. OMG. Rilly? No way. OMG. Rilly?”)

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Thing is, I’ve hacking like a 90 year-old smoker with a kitten trapped in their lung. This makes me feel… crabby.

Which I’ve also been before. And admitted to before.

I think I used to devote entire hours to being crabby from ages 13-17, most often when I thought my mother could be in my proximity, because a) she’d love me no matter what and b) MOMS ARE SO ANNOYING! GOSH!

(I CAN’T WAIT TO BE ANNOYING TO CHILDREN!!! INSTEAD OF JUST THE OPPOSITE SEX!!! AND PEOPLE WHO HATE OVERPUNCTUATION!!!)

But none of that really matters, does it?

“Just do the damn list, Meg… your backstory is so emo we bought it a striped shirt and eyeliner.”

Well.

Okay then.

THINGS I LOVE RIGHT NOW

Orange juice from Happy Planet
Oat bars
Numi tea
Crisp white shirts
My doctor, if he gives me the GOOD cough stuff
The way penguins walk
Weekends, thank heavens
Dreaming of California
Illy coffee
The hottest hot sauce that clears up your nose
Fake fencing swords
My new sister-in-law, Carey xoxox
Having a sister! What the frick?!? That’s awesome!
Wide open windows
New lipgloss
Possibilities
Boys in glasses
Showing my mom how to use YouTube to watch Christopher Walken dance
Honey and lemon in hot water
The fact that it snowed today, but there is no evidence remaining of the same
Funny voice mails that make my day
Being stuck with my dad while traveling… he makes me laugh
Coconut lotion
Genoa salami
Fresh cherries
Watching my parents dance at my brother’s wedding FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER
People who are comfy in their skin
Strappy shoes with a tan
People who know how to be witty and warm at the same time
Wooden bracelets
Lemon-Mint Ricolas
That the area under my nose is no longer a sinus-inflicted red, flaky Hitleresque painstache
Debates that keep my mind from closing in on itself
My roommate, who is home from California
Eric, our lovely friend she left behind
All the sassy surfer girl bangles and earrings she brought me home (I love big earrings)
My fireplace
Bounce sheets
Lip balm that smells orangey or vanilla-y
Edible babies

As usual, feel free to leave your own love list in the comments, or put one up at your blog. Love makes things better, I swear, even if it’s just for a few minutes until the next bomb drops.

I wasn’t going to write a Friday Love List today.

Then my old friend Jen (Jen is not old… well, she’s old if I am, since we’re the same age) emailed me and said she could use one.

Sigh.

Jen, in all honesty, I’m not feeling the most loving today. In fact, I have a hate on for my sinuses and a few other things I won’t really get into at this point (though none of them are people, and any one of them could change on a dime.)

This makes me struggle a little more than usual with the List.

But I guess I should smarten up, mmm?

Or go kick someone’s ass. That’s kind of cathartic. Illegal, but cathartic.

*cough*

Without further ado:

THINGS I LOVE MORE THAN I WOULD LOVE KICKING SOMEONE’S ASS RIGHT NOW

Bits and Bites (Meli Melo!)
My lemon cuticle salve (also? the word “cuticle”, but definitely not “salve”)
Reassurance
Yoga balls
A good dream you remember
Haiku
Clapping in glee
Emails that encourage
Men who appreciate curves. And I mean real ones, not supermodel ones (know the difference between a coverlet and a duvet, people)
Laughing until I feel kind of queasy but awesome
Men who can fix things
STET
Perfect hair days
Big watches on men
Private jokes with your favourite people
Big leather bags, perfectly broken in
Black tank tops
Getting the copier to staple it FOR you
My iPod Touch
Salmon sashimi
White teapots
Clementines
Straight-up regulation-time hockey victories
Cashmere
Shea butter soap
Garlic naan
Ira Glass (still)
Sunshine on the way to work
Sunshine on the way home from work
Black coffee
Goat cheese
The Irish
Soft pants
Babies so cute you just want to EAT them!
Memories of rollerskating
Giant knuckle-sized rings
Men who wear pink shirts
Rick Astley
Cherry-chili chocolate (Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia!)
Beaker
Bunnies
Bacon
Jeans and heels
Nerd glasses on nerd boys (no pretenders!)
Bunnies wrapped in bacon (KIDDING!)
Perfect hooks in pop songs
Consistency
Gold hoops
Learning about new people
Learning something new about someone you already know
White v-neck shirts
Lemon Meringue Pie

As always, feel free to leave a list of your own in the comments, or pop one up on your own blog!

Okay, okay, so I had some love left.

But this sinus infection stuff is enough to make you kick at fluffy bunnies and take candy from children and ask Starbucks employees for a “double double.”

I figured I’d wait until Sunday rolled around and check out my love levels then… and lo, miracle of miracles, here I am to pour out my reserves for you.

(Perhaps — as with a sinking canoe — the more love I bail, the more will come to replace it.)

If you’re here checking out a Love List for the first time, here’s how it works: I tell you things I love based on a theme (or not), and then you share your loves on that same theme (or not) in the comments or at your own blog (or not.)

Clearly there’s a ton of freedom within the system.

Also, beware: my sinus medication tends to make me think I’m funny when I’m not, much like a microphone.

But without further ado:

THINGS I LOVE WHEN I FEEL LIKE CRAP

(And if you don’t feel like crap right now, try and remember a time when you did. Because heaven knows, that’s a great mental exercise…)

My chair-and-a-half of love
Not cooking
Showers that leave me the colour of a sunburned beet
Old-school crappy sitcoms
Lemon and honey water
The ever-comforting sight and sound of Bill Kurtis
True crime shows on A & E (see above)
Cheerleader ponytails
Soul music
House-flipping and real estate shows (Waaaaay better with Benadryl)
Candles that smell citrusy and clean
Cadbury Creme Eggs (I KNOW they’re gross. I do. But I accept that about them.)
Deep, meaningful sighs
Text and IM, since they don’t involve actually using my voice
Soft pants
Origins Peace of Mind On-The-Spot relief
Looking at the time around 10 pm and thinking WHOA, IT’S LATE
Not hearing the words “neti pot”
Foot massages (not that I get any of these, dammit)
Anything truly, achingly spicy
Hooded sweatshirts
Sitting just slightly propped up with a blank expression
Kleenex with lotion
My personal space X 2
The “failing, yet flushed” complexion
The moment after a really fabulous sneeze
Garlic mashed potatoes
Ira Glass (I think I’m just going to put him in all my lists from now on)
Girl magazines (Allure, InStyle, Real Simple)
The entertaining way my sinuses creak like an old house in the sunshine

And you?

Well, good morning, people.

I have four new bruises on my shoulders and arms from walking into door frames and the sides of elevators today. That’s how I know I’m tired… my balance disappears into the ether like cupcakes in an office kitchen. Either that or I’m dehydrated.

Sleep and water. Sleep and water. Two things I definitely don’t get enough of in my life. Oh, and Donettes. Who can get enough of those? The powdered ones. With coffee and a big glass of milk. THAT’S PERFECTION.

Why do I keep thinking about sugar?

Or why do I keep thinking about you, Sugar?

You know why.

Because I can’t get enough of your love, Babe…

There. That’s plenty of sugar for you…

And now for this week’s love list, which has no theme or boundaries whatsoever. Just pure love.

Which, like pure sugar, can get you through at least a couple hours with a smile on your face.

THINGS I LOVE

Sleeping in
Eating lemons
Clapping my hands when I’m happy
Smelling beachy
A good stapler
Hope
COFFEE
Sunrises
Rice bowls
Wit that doesn’t rely on cruelty
Chocolate-covered marshmallow bubble cookies
Having choices where at least one choice doesn’t suck
Music that makes you move almost involuntarily (and not just to turn it off)
Good dreams where you wake up kind of smiling
Sweet peas
COFFEE
DID I MENTION COFFEE
How many different kinds of laughs there are
My nonna’s engagement ring
Road trips (seriously, seriously missing them right now)
Sun breaking through clouds
Louisiana Hot Sauce
Ocean views
Being right (I know, I know…)
Being wrong in ways that help me learn (there, there.)
The sound of my coffeemaker starting up
Sundresses
Greek takeout
Shouting CAKE OR DEATH?
Asking people ridiculous questions that unlock their brains
Fresh flowers
Jazz
Inventing recipes
Dancing around my house by myself
Cold sausage rolls
Harmony
Freckles
PBS cooking shows
Curves
Barefootness on grass
Holmes on Holmes
George Clooney
Political debates with anyone I am not related to
Red toenails
A perfect sentence
Smack the Pingu
Soy candles
Clean (and very open) windows
Singing drives with Catherine
Marc Broussard (have I made that clear yet? Yeah, I get stuck on things…)
Advil Liqui-Gels
Bright rooms during the day, soft lighting at night
My new knives (Thank you for my Christmas present, Cat!)

And you? Tell me what you love today…