megfowler.com

(more evidence I was never meant to be a pro photog…)

This post took a while to get to, huh?

I am playing the sick card, because my lungs are still awash with grossness like a leaky basement. Complete with a rusty tricycle lodged near my bronchioles.

BUT.

For those of you playing along at home, you’ve heard the tales of our arduous journey to the North, and our blissful, yet icy time in the Snow Chapel watching Sean and Carey get hitched.

After all that, we had a reception. Or they did. I just went to it. And spoke at it. And danced at it.

But before I say anything else, I have to tell you about the thing that happened at said reception that has never happened before.

My parents? They danced.

Dude.

Now, a lot of you may have immediately jumped to the conclusion that there’s some sort of sinister reason my parents don’t dance. Perhaps you’ve referenced the fact that my dad is a minister and tied this reality to the classically Baptist disdain for booty shaking.

In fact, many Baptists fear the booty shaking so deeply that the old adage “dancing leads to sex” is reversed… because it’s way worse to be caught doing the watusi in some den of iniquity than to get knocked up in the back of a Chev.

Okay, not really, but I love that paragraph.

My parents’ friends dance. My parents’ children dance. In fact, their parents dance. It’s not an issue for them. It’s just that my mom can’t even really clap and sing at the same time, and my dad (although a musician with a great sense of rhythm) doesn’t enjoy dancing at all.

However — regardless of her lack of skillz — at my brother’s wedding, my mom was going to have to do the “mother-son” dance. This filled her with great trepidation — not enough trepidation to refuse the honour, mind you, but some trepidation.

What’s amazing, though, is that this led to a group obsession with getting my father to dance, as well. It took his sister, my Auntie Gwen, to finally get him out there, and eventually he danced with like, four different people.

Including (excuse the blurry, it’s like trying to capture the Loch Ness Monster on film) my mom:

Wow.

Just saying.

You’d have to know them to know how major that is.

They didn’t even have dancing at their own wedding.

(No, Mom, I wasn’t actually comparing you to “Nessie”… just accentuating the rarity, you know?)

What this means to me REALLY, however, is that my dad can no longer in good conscience duck the “father-daughter” dance at MY wedding. YOU’RE SCREWED, BUDDY.

Anyway, back to the reception.

It was held in Elks’ Hall, which is the most Canadian place you could have your wedding reception besides, say, a hockey arena. It was gussied up with pretty paper lanterns and pretty people, and ended up a lovely spot to spend a few special hours.

The food was fabulous, the company was great, and the DJ was even pretty damn good.

Also?

There were pipers, courtesty of Carey, who knows my brother loves them more than most things in life (even Star Trek and his iPod and novels about soldiers):

Also?

There was this guy totally shaking it in a pink shirt:

I have no idea why I love that photo so much, but I was actually trying to take a picture of something else and he just danced right on into it. Brilliant.

Also?

I learned YET AGAIN never to speak after either of my parents in speaking publicly ANYWHERE because they will MAKE ME CRY and then my usual steely composure is shot before I even hit the microphone. This time, I have my mother to thank for being a trembly, emo mess giving a toast to her son right before I went to welcome Carey to the family.

However, I did still manage to welcome her with a Top Ten list that I wrote using the “Notes” function I got with my iPod Touch software upgrade.

(I think that’s the most embarrassing sentence I’ve ever written. Gah.)

Unfortunately, when I’d lose myself into teary trembletude for a second, the Auto Lock function on the Touch would activate, and I’d have to use my shaky hands to get back to my “Notes” screen.

(No, I was wrong. THAT is the most embarrassing sentence I’ve ever written.)

I won’t print the Top Ten list here, because that was just for Carey. Suffice it to say, I warned her about the kooky clan she was walking into sufficiently, while at the same time letting her know we’d love her pretty much forever.

Because we will.

The same way we love my brother, who is one of the most kind, open, funny, special men you could ever hope to meet. And also a closet dancer, since he chose this moment in time to do pretty much this same routine to this same song:

And he did it WELL.

We all laughed until we couldn’t breathe… and his bride was sufficiently charmed.

The rest of the reception was unbelievably fun — I’ve never seen more people up and dancing for that long at a wedding before, and I’VE BEEN TO A FRICKLOAD OF WEDDINGS. Sean and Carey’s friends REALLY know how to move, and all my (biological and time-earned) Aunts and Uncles have some notable twinkletoes as well.

Even I — though I knew no one, and was not a fan of my heels at that point — got out there and did what I do when good music is playing.

Eventually I was in (the shameful yet Nothern-approved combo of) my Uggs and my little black dress, because I wasn’t DONE WORKING IT even as my toes screamed I HATE YOU I HATE YOU! I’m the one in my family who LOVES to dance, after all.

It was really the ideal night. Everyone said so, and keeps saying so. Which is everything you could hope for from your wedding reception.

But here’s the important thing in all of this:

My brother is happy.

And that’s what matters to me.

So, to him:

You and I don’t always agree on everything, and that’s fine, even when we aim to step on the other’s last nerve and push buttons that are thirty years old or more. We spend enough time making one another laugh to make up for all of that.

We are also the best kids anyone ever took on road trips, the best-behaved PKs in any pew in any church anywhere, and the single silliest pair of siblings anyone ever sat down to Sunday dinner with. All in all, a good brother-sister act.

You remain a consistent blessing in my life that no one else could have been, or ever will be. My only brother. My protector. My friend.

It was always my hope that you would meet someone who understood you and valued you and loved you for exactly the man you are, and you found that in Carey. She’s lovely and unique and amazing and everything a man could hope to find in a wife.

I’m really proud of your choice, and her choice.

Most of all, it does my soul whole worlds of good to see what I saw in your eyes that weekend… that sense of peace and hope and joy that comes with following your heart.

I’m so happy for you.

And I love you. And Carey.

Not so much the North, but you know how that is.

Thanks for letting me be a part of your big day.

A few weeks ago, I was going to post my own little online shopping guide full of links to things I love — not just for gifts, but for YOU! Then it occurred to me that this was an area WELL realized by about a MILLION AND A HALF other bloggers and sites and web magazines.

So I didn’t do it.

Then it occurred to me — because that’s what I do, I sit around and wait for stuff to occur to me — that none of them would be MY little shopping/lusting guide, and even if I coincided up the wazoo with other sites or my links were dopey or I ended up suggesting things that somehow offended my mother, to thine own self be true, mmm?

So here we go!

I’ll be posting under “Girly Thingies”, “House and Life Thingies”. Because it’s not a gift guide… it’s just stuff I like. And I didn’t really feel like organizing it much.

You’ll see clearly here how eclectic my tastes are, too. Which I think is either a good quality of mine, or evidence of multiple personalities. Either way, it makes me fun at parties.

Enjoy!

GIRLY THINGIES

Jennifer Meyer Jewelry – As with any time of year, I would take ANYTHING from her collection. Gorgeous.

France Luxe Italian Headbands – Perfect width, perfect “holdback”.

Havis — WHY DON’T YOU OWN A MILLION JILLION PAIRS LIKE I DO??

Soia & Kyo Coat — How CUTE IS THAT.

Benefit Powder Pop! — These powders warm and glow like none other.

NARS Night Palette — Love these colours. Perfect winter shades for making eyes come alive.

Shu Uemura Eyelash Curler — The one. The best. The only.

Oscar Blandi Olio di Jasmine — Fantastic-smelling, and lush for winter hair.

Theory Sweater Coat — I can’t even handle the cozy.

Coach Bleeker – I have an odd lust for this bag.

Alessi White Mariposa Watch — Love it. So sleek.

MoonVenom — “Celestial” lip gloss? Maybe not, BUT… this stuff has a great opalescent party sheen and a warm cinnamon-y tingle that I love. It’s the perfect “re-apply” at a party when you don’t want to do the whole lipstick rigamarole, because it brings out the natural colour of your lips. Which is probably better at 2 am than Candy Apple Red, yes? But if you really want big lips, try…

TooFaced Lip Injection Extreme — For Angelina’s lips without all the kids.

Orange Button Wood Bangles — I love the tone of these. So warm.

MAC Sheerspark Pressed Powder — Holiday Glow 101. Sparkle without sparkle. Could I be more vague? And I love the sassy compact.

BR Pendant Necklace — So simple, but I love the personal, yet unassuming look of the pendant. Nice with a white shirt or v-neck sweater. And cheap!

Stila Lip Shines — Nice and natural… like lips, but shimmery-better.

Winifred Grace Nesting Dome Earrings — These earrings have the perfect shape to elongate necks like mine (what neck?) and the perfect tone to warm up winter skin. A little (a lot!) pricey, but they’re definitely not earrings you’ll see on everyone else. You can dress them up or down, too, which is something I require in my pieces.

Frederic Fekkai Mini Glossing Kit — Traveling during the holidays? This is your best take-along to keep winter-dry or (in my climate) winter-frizzy hair in shiny, happy condition. I have baby-fine hair, and the Glossing Creme is light enough to keep it in check without greasing it down — but I also know crazy curly-heads who find it works well for them, too. And the best part? It smells like magic.

Marc Jacobs Hobo Bag — I know. Dream on.

Origins SHEdonism Set — I love the warm, soothing fragrance, and this stuff is incredibly moisturizing.

Isaac Mizrahi for Target Shawl-Collar Cashmere Sweater — Isaac! Target! Cashmere! WIN WIN!

Bloodwood Dome Ring from Studio AMF — I love wooden rings. The natural texture and warm feel are perfect for sweater-and-jeans days, and the shape and colour of them is modified over time by your skin and the shape of your finger. I also love BIG rings (since, you know, my fingers are about an inch long and clearly I need something giant) and this fits the bill. Perfect statement for tanned summer hands or lotion-covered winter hands.

Philosophy Coconut Scrub — Pretend it’s summertime. Just do it.

Origins NoPuffery Eye Gel — Post-party perfection.

Comptoir Sud Pacifique Candles — Magical in the bedroom or bathroom. Like me.

Weleda Skin Food — Smells so good, and is a cure-all for dryness in general.

HOUSE AND LIFE THINGIES

cb2 Phantom Table Lamp – I love the simplicity of the design and the round, organic shape. Perfect for a low-key bedroom.

C&B Bamboo Dinnerware — Great for kids or outdoors.

KitchenAid Tool Set — I love the colour, I love the design, and I love the price!

Bodum 32-Ounce Stainless Coffee Press — Because you need a LOT OF COFFEE.

Pottery Barn Great White Dinnerware – I love white dishes. Food just looks better on them.

Pikku Papers — Just really lovely little designs and whimsical details.

Bed, Bath & Beyond Chevron Throws — The design of this throw adds great texture to a plain chair or couch.

1000 Gram Turkish Towels — Yeeeeeeah.

cb2 Acacia Thick Wood Mirror — I love wood. I love mirrors.

Origo Dinner Plates — Simple design, but a lovely hit of colour for a basic table.

Frette Sheets — This is my favourite set. Goooorgeous.

ThinkGeek SunJars — Store a little sunshine for later.

Tiffin Lunch Box Sets — Cool enough to make me want to bring a lunch to work.

Riedel Stemless Glasses — I really like stemless wineglasses… fingerprints be damned!

cb2 comma plates — Perfect for messy appies at a party.

Jiti Branches Bedding — 100% dupioni silk with a muted pattern that would fit into a ton of different decorating schemes. A bit of luxury, no?

cb2 peace dove ornaments — A little tree decorated with shiny birds? Yes, please.

notNeutral Outdoor Metal Lantern — Very chic around your deck or patio!

Soleus Halogen Heater with Remote — Know any chilly souls? This fan-shaped heater fires up fast and runs safely.

Elum Cards — I love good stationery. Love it. And this stuff has such a lovely look and feel. Done your Christmas cards yet?

Campfire Votive — AAAAAA THE CUTE!!!

This is my 900th post.

Which doesn’t actually mean too much at my blog, because I’ve actually written 1354 posts.

I just deleted the other 454 because I thought they were boring, or thought you thought they were boring, or they made my mom cry, or I was getting freaky Google hits.

This is not a recommendation for what remains, of course. I’m sure I’ve left a lot of tripe/fluff/silliness behind.

BUT!

In honour of this, the 900th Post Not Yet Deleted, tell me a little about YOU! Delurk! Come on out! Hello!

1. Who are you? (be as thorough or as vague as you like)
2. What are you wearing?
3. What’s the last thing you ate?
4. How did you get here? (the blog, not the planet)
5. Been here long?

I’m hanging out with my parents tonight. Yay!

Here’s where I’ll be sleeping:

SO COMFY.

(And don’t you like my purse? Thanks!)

But that’s not really the point.

My dad was in dire need of a visit. I HAD to come. I mean, look:

I know. Seriously.

My mom and I made dinner together while he contorted in the other room (in front of the Seahawks in high-def.)

I contributed the salsa and the guacamole (which I had to make more smooshy than usual, due to the firmness of the organic avocados):

My dad ate all the good stuff and then left the salsa (lime) juice.

Dad!

AND he got all up in the guac.

See?

But we kept cooking while he ate.

My mom made an amazing filling for the (pretend) enchiladas by roasting pork, shredding it into a marinade of lime juice (which she left overnight), and then cooking it with chile’d beans the next day until it reduced into soft deliciousness:

SO good.

Then we rolled it into tortillas and baked it with a little cheese and sour cream:

Please note: a) I had to take a bite before I took a picture; and b) I had forgotten to put my napkin on my lap. Classy!

It was very, very good.

And a lot of food.

Certainly enough food that I should not have found myself in the Dairy Queen drive-through with my mom two hours later.

But that’s how we roll(ed).

I love my parents. And also?

My earrings:

Ah, weekends.

Because it should be a tradition, y’all.

I’m posting more stuff I love in, simply in honour of Friday. I never really run out, anyway.

THINGS I LOVE

Eating a million pounds of juicy summer cherries
Cracking up publicly at a text message
White sundresses
Freckles
Odd brown shirts you buy for $7 at Old Navy that make you look 20% more fun
Men with deep voices
The Colbert Report
My old Thierry Mugler Angel perfume
Giant tufts of pale pink cotton candy
Americano Mistos
What a Fool Believes
Salmon sashimi
Scrabulous on Facebook
My mom coming to get me when I was dizzy/teary at work
Mark Ronson
Twittering
LISTS
How loudly I can snap my fingers
Interpretive dance at work
My heterolifemate Catherine
The upcoming Fantasy Football season
When I manage to say the right thing, against all awkward odds
Open deck doors
Aviator glasses
Bounce softener
Foggy nights
Hot pink toenails
Bouquets in just one colour (pink, white, green…)
The idea of having my own advice column
Fudgesicles
Long drives
Fresh salsa
Hoop earrings
YOU!

As I said last time…

I challenge everyone to post a love list on their own blogs, even if you think it’s horribly cheesy and eye-rolling. And if you have no blog, do it in the comments here! Celebrate something good.

I want to know what you love!

Today’s list comes to you courtesy of the arachnid that decided to scale the majestic heights of ME.

Basically, Mr. Shirt Spider left me twitching like a junebug in a skillet. Every time my hair touches my neck, I do an odd sort of squealy dance.

(Which sounds like Steely Dan, but is very different.)

I’ve decided that the only solution to my issue is to cleanse my jittery, flappy-armed soul with a complete list of all the things/sensations/experiences that COMPLETELY skeeve me out. The Skeeve List, as it were.

If you decide to make your own Skeeve List on your own blog, please link to it in the comments. And if you don’t have a blog, fill up the comments with skeevitude. Everyone loves a good skeeve.

I’m twitching involuntarily RIGHT NOW!

THE TOP 30 SKEEVES

1. The noise that junebugs make, slamming into lightbulbs.
2. The smooshy dark green sliminess of no-longer-fresh lettuce.
3. Teeth covered in lipstick.
4. Clammy handshakes.
5. Touching Styrofoam with freshly-trimmed fingernails.
6. Deep, chest-clearing coughs by people you don’t know in your immediate proximity (elevator, bus, coffee shop lineup, TB clinic waiting room)
7. Silverfish.
8. The sound of cottage cheese doing anything at all.
9. Pickled things that should not be pickled (eyeballs, eggs, hooves, lips, ears)
10. Canned gravy.
11. Guys who refer to their friends as “the posse.”
12. Moist towelettes.
13. Earwigs on ceilings (HE’S GOING TO FALL INTO YOUR EAR AND EAT YOUR BRAIN!)
14. People who pat your back weakly when they hug you.
15. Chains lodged in chest hair.
16. Axe body spray.
17. Those neon car lights under the chassis (or whatever the correct term would be.) Custom, yo!
18. Mouth-open eating of any kind.
19. Jellied salads.
20. Gas station bathrooms.
21. Excessive mayo in sandwiches.
22. Blue foods.
23. Leather bikinis.
24. Ultimate Fighting.
25. Men in unlined bathing suits. STOP IT.
26. Costco-size Velveeta.
27. Spiders that are not in gardens or the desert somewhere, stalking insects for documentaries.
28. Humidity.
29. Black bra, white t-shirt.
30. Sour cream and onion chips.

COME SKEEVE WITH ME!

Not dizzy anymore.

Whew.

Ooooh, the happy taste of an iced mocha when the air is GENUINELY HOT as you leave your house in the morning.

There are few things that really compare to the flavour and the temperature and the joy. Generally, I don’t like anything as sweet as a mocha can be, but some days? Yes! PERFECT.

The best iced mocha I ever had was after giving up coffee for Lent about five years ago. The morning my fast ended, I woke up (I was on vacation in Kelowna) and insisted that my friend drive me IMMEDIATELY to Starbucks. I don’t think he really wanted to go, but I’m a hard girl to refuse when I’ve been waiting for something a long, long time.

I ordered an eight-shot iced venti half-sweet nonfat mocha. They asked me to repeat it four times, not because they didn’t understand, but because they didn’t WANT to understand.

EIGHT SHOTS OF ESPRESSO. WITH MOCHA. AFTER 40 DAYS WITHOUT COFFEE.

Needless to say, I was a really inspiring person until about 2 pm, when I dissolved into a pool of tears, and insisted that we “get more… can we get more? I need some more. How about we get more. How about now?”

Totally not an addict, though. Promise.

I like the shores of America!
Comfort is yours in America!
Knobs on the doors in America…
Wall-to-wall floors in America!

I want to dance, and like, ruffle my skirts. If I happened to be wearing a skirt. I could ruffle my jeans, but it would probably just look like I was trying to smack a bee off my leg.

What was I saying? Oh, YES!

I thought it appropriate this morning — since about 60% of my daily readers (the three people who aren’t my mom and dad) are from the United States — for MegFowler.com to celebrate that sassy country to the South.

After all, it’s Your Special Day.

(Which makes it sound like you just went through a teenage rite of passage, but you know what I mean.)

So, in your honour, I present a list:

TWENTY THINGS I LIKE ABOUT/IN AMERICA

1. I like that you have lots of different and weird accents from state to state. We have that in Canada, too, but mostly it’s just people in Newfoundland that sound odd. You have at least ten odd regions, the oddest of which has to be West Virginia.

2. I like your football better. I know it’s more hyped and sold-out and overexposed, but that’s probably because the players are actually good. (Did I say that out loud?)

3. Mark Twain, William Faulkner, Flannery O’Connor, Truman Capote, John Steinbeck, James Thurber, David Sedaris, Jonathan Safran Foer, John Irving, Harper Lee, Dave Eggers, Kurt Vonnegut, Eudora Welty, Thomas Pynchon… and many more.

4. Your California coast is better than ours. Wait… we don’t have one. You are SO lucky.

5. Seattle. Nice.

6. The always sassy “Justice” shows on A & E… especially those narrated by the mighty Bill Kurtis. Rowr.

7. Cannon Beach, OR.

8. Robert Altman, Martin Scorcese, Woody Allen (twenty years ago and Match Point), John Cassavetes, Francis Ford Coppola, Steven Soderbergh, Jim Henson, Orson Welles, Wes Anderson, Quentin Tarantino, Judd Apatow… and many, many more.

9. Sephora. I know there are also Sephorii in Canada, but NOT IN FRICKIN’ VANCOUVER.

10. The New Yorker, Harpers, Architectural Digest, Sports Illustrated, InStyle, and ELLE Decor.

11. Coca Cola.

12. Levis.

13. Peet’s Coffee

14. Whole Foods (THANK YOU. I NOW SPEND ALL MY MONEY ON ORGANIC JUICES AND FLAX.)

15. All the places I hope to see one day (but not all in one day): New York, New Orleans, Savannah, Chicago, Memphis, Boston, and San Francisco.

16. My brother!

17. All my lovely US blogging friends… check my Sweet Reads to see who is from where. Up to this point, however, only Eric has allowed me to sleep on his couch.

18. Apple. I love Martin and Toby.

19. Google.

20. Wiki-freakin’-pedia.

(Because someone told me to “look for the light.”)

1. Trying to tell the Muffin Joke. I cannot make it through the Muffin Joke. Honestly. There is no hope for me with the Muffin Joke. All I do is laugh and laugh and laugh. It’s the best joke on earth.

2. A cold can of gingerale and a very skinny straw.

3. All my plants are getting too big for their green plastic pots.

4. Scrubby lemon soap in the shower this morning.

5. I got to work before it really rained.

6. Black ballet flats with white polka dots.

7. My sweet roommate making dinner plans for us.

8. The fact that our bottle of Lysol at work has a “cozy.”

9. “Damn, Girl” on my iPod when I was running to catch the bus. I was all Mary Tyler Moore.

10. Three words: Peanut. Butter. Cup.