If you’ve played before, you know the rules: you must choose between all the options in the list below, and then pop your answers into the comments. It doesn’t matter if you don’t like either thing… choose the lesser of the two evils. The fun part is having to resolve the conflict, not refuse it!

And as we always say, no one’s gonna hold you to it (except for the CIA — but this is one of their screening tools, so…)

Diet soda or regular?

Gold or silver?

Harrison Ford or Michael Caine?

Al Green or Marvin Gaye?

Volkswagen Beetle or Mini Cooper?

Celery or carrots?

Winding road or highway into the sunset?

“Your mom” jokes or knock knock jokes?

Sundried tomato or artichoke heart?

Kitten or puppy?

Email or phone call?

Curly or straight?

Swingset or teeter-totter?

Vintage or modern?

Wallpaper or paint?

Black and white, or colour?

Paris or Rome?

Picnic by the sea, or picnic in the park?

Road Trip or All-Inclusive Resort?

Muffin or croissant?

CNN or BBC?

Spa or camping?

Skeptic or true believer?

Popsicle or creamsicle?

Rollercoaster or waterslide?

Glasses or contacts?

If you’ve never played this little game, the rules are simple: make a choice. Don’t tell me, “well, it depends!” or “neither!” or “I couldn’t possibly!”

After all, no one’s going to hold you to this in the future (and really, it’s not something important like voting in an election or picking a mate or choosing the right flavor of popsicle!) But it’s certainly interesting to see the choices you make when you have to make one…

Bottled water or tap water?

Jumpy or nerves of steel?

Yeller or never?

Reality tv or written tv? (Yes, I know they end up being the same thing… but you know what I mean!)

Glasses or contacts?

Fish: raw (sushi-grade, of course) or cooked?

Fries: yam or potato?

Disaster coverage: hooked or repelled?

Sailboat or motor boat?

Fiction or non-fiction?

Shoe or sandal?

Onstage or backstage?

Perfume or no?

Jimi Hendrix or James Brown?

WalMart or Target?

Passive or aggressive?

Cherries or strawberries?

Hammock or porch swing?

Trees or grass?

Dive or cannonball?

Sunrise or moonrise?

Teriyaki or (ed. note: I initially left this blank by accident, but now that Brian down there has pointed it out, I’m kind of fond of the existential nature of the question: Teriyaki or….? I mean, what is the true contrapunto for teriyaki? WHO CAN KNOW?!)

Dance or sing?

Crossword puzzles or sudoku?

Swimming pool or hot tub?

Tear up when emotional, or never?

(Remember — no “it depends” or “both!” or “neither”… you must choose!)

Robert Redford or Paul Newman?

Bill Murray or Steve Martin?

Fred Astaire or Gene Kelly?

Elvis Costello or Elvis Presley?

George Clooney or Brad Pitt?

Ella Fitzgerald or Billie Holiday?

Garrison Keillor or David Sedaris?

Stevie Wonder or Al Green?

Sophia Loren or Marilyn Monroe?

Lawrence Welk or Percy Faith?

Miles Davis or John Coltrane?

Tina Fey or Sarah Silverman?

Denzel Washington or Russell Crowe?

Ron Popeil (of SET IT AND FORGET IT fame) or Billy Mays (OXY CLEAN!)

John Cusack or Matthew Broderick?

Benicio Del Toro or Javier Bardem?

Robert DeNiro or Al Pacino?

Grace Kelly or Audrey Hepburn?

Jimmy Stewart or Cary Grant?

Bob or Doug?

Julia Roberts or Reese Witherspoon?

Roger Moore or Sean Connery?

Salma Hayek or Penelope Cruz?

Matt Damon or Ben Affleck?

Lucille Ball or Carol Burnett?