Just a note to say:

You are beautiful. Really. Everyone thinks so, whether they say it or not, and you see it or not. This is not a world designed to recognize your uniqueness and loveliness, but that doesn’t change the fact that you are both unique and lovely. On the days when you feel otherwise, realize that you are both an unreliable narrator and an unreliable set of eyes. I see you. And you’re beautiful.

You’re not a bad person because you don’t like to talk on the phone.

The concept of age becomes more fuzzy by the year. Stop worrying about how old or young you are, and how people see you as a result. If you’re young enough to laugh unabashedly at something ridiculous, and old enough to be accountable for your mistakes, you’re getting it right, whatever the number might be.

Somebody, somewhere has a fetish for exactly. how. you. look. No matter how you look. Thanks for the affirmation, Internet! And gah.

You can do everything right as a partner, and your partner will still irritate the hell out of you at some point. Same goes with parent and child, employee and boss, friend and friend. No one has yet figured out how to prevent this, besides locking one of you in a windowless, soundproof room where you can’t get at each other. And even then: “Must be nice to be locked in a windowless, soundproof room, I have to take the BUS!”

Fake laughter is like Tofurkey. You’re not fooling anyone. And if you are, they’re probably just delirious with hunger.

If the book or movie still seems boring when you’re halfway through it, put it down or turn it off. Even if it gets better at that point, you’re going to be watching it through 50% bored eyes.

People who set their watches and clocks ten minutes ahead to avoid being late always know they have ten more minutes. We’re only actually that dumb when we’re telling ourselves that ice cream eaten from the carton while standing by the freezer doesn’t count.

Never, ever have the last word. Because who wants to stop talking?!

Messy, sobbing, heaving crying for an hour feels unequivocally better than trying not to cry for 24 hours, and then you can splash some water on your face and do something else. Sometimes you have to climb in the hole for a bit to see it’s not all that deep.

Don’t implement efficiencies where the time spent actually brings you joy.

“Once burned, twice shy” is optimistic. “Once burned, twice burned, three times burned with therapy, four times burned OK OK FINE” is more like it.

If you’re going to hold a grudge, hold it upside down so all the blood rushes to its head and it croaks. There. Problem solved.

Making eye contact is a great way to let friendly people know you’re friendly… and to make demon eyes at bad people. Either way, you win.

Any “natural remedy” that involves 3 gallons of salt water is a bad idea.

It is okay to forgive and be done. Continuing a relationship is not required as proof of grace, but walking away when the right time comes is clear evidence you’re extending grace to yourself, too.

If it smells bad, don’t eat it. Even if you convince yourself it’s fine, some small part of your mind / stomach will still be going WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHO IS IN CHARGE HERE

You don’t have to like that show / song / style / word / food / place / book / shoe / person everyone else does. At least 50% of them don’t really like it anyway… they just want to feel like they’re getting it right.

Tights aren’t pants.

Make sure you spend as much time being yourself as you spend defining yourself. Let people think what they want.

Be good at one thing, be okay at a few things, or be passable at lots of things. Or inherit.