I am terrified of bees, but “honey” is my most frequently used term of endearment.

I feel confident walking down the street in a dicey area, but I lock doors compulsively.

I hate the price of shoes, but never flinch at the cost of a pedicure.

I made a point of trying to own my name everywhere online for a decade, but didn’t think twice about changing it when I got married.

I have autoimmune issues, but go to the doctor less often than almost anyone I know.

I put a high price on my abilities, but rarely ever charge it.

I hate wasting food, but I am totally blind to leftovers in my fridge.

I read fluffy girly magazines, but loathe fluffy girly novels.

I prefer to have my hair long, but wear it up 95% of the time.

I will jump off a cliff 50 feet into the water, but am terrified of slipping getting into a boat.

I love to buy organic and local, but McDonald’s fries are my number one life craving.

I have an English degree, work as a writer, and love words, but my books were the easiest thing to let go of in my move across the continent.

I am insistent on having cable television, but I can count the hours I watch in a week on two hands.

I am a long-term insomniac who doesn’t fall asleep until hours after bedtime, but I wake up five minutes before my alarm goes off 99% of the time.

I like to see a million recipe options for the things I plan to cook, but never consider following them to the letter.

I own ten zillion kinds of moisturizer, but I can’t remember the last time I thought to put it on my legs.

I love making lists to get organized, but always forget where I put them.