I’ve known for a long time that three particular things would happen in the wake of my wedding — and no, not the “post-party letdown” I hear about from my friends, or a radical change in the length of my hair (everyone goes short after growing their hair out for photos, apparently.) Rather, the following:

1. I wouldn’t like how I look in any of the pictures (it’s inevitable. I always wonder where my neck went, and why I can’t stop myself from making really crazy faces at inappropriate times.)
2. I would get sick (I think my sinus infection is starting… now.)
3. I would be very happy to be married to one Gradon Tripp.

Other than that, I was certain he still wouldn’t like tomatoes or mushrooms, and I still wouldn’t like shutting windows (even when the house is freezing. ) He would still be a little tone deaf, and I would still prefer to wear flip flops… even as I know I am an affront to cosmopolitan style. I still do laundry and cook, while he still does all the yard work and driving. And he still loves shopping more than I do.

We’re the same people we were before we got up on the morning of our wedding, and made it all official.

What I didn’t know is what would be different.

Not just different in terms of, say, my name (Gradon calls me “Mrs. Tripp” about 90% of the time, which I’m sure he’ll get tired of sometime in the next 20 years), or the amount of rings either of us wears.

No, the difference is at the core of my brain and my heart.

I feel… peaceful.

Peaceful not in the “what? You can sleep now?” sense.

Peaceful not in the “You are less likely to babble aimlessly?” sense.

Peaceful in that I did the right thing, and now, a whole lot of other things seem clearer.

Now I can stop worrying about being good enough, and trust in the fact that I always was. And even when I’m not, I’m loved.

Now I can make plans that have large amounts of years attached to them, without anything but the normal unpredictability of life standing in our way.

Now I can go to sleep at night knowing that, whatever I wake up to the next day, I have backup. A partner. Someone who wants it to work as much as I do. Someone who trusts me with his life. Someone I trust with mine.

And yeah, I knew these things before I got married. But like the last coat of varnish on a piece of furniture, getting married sealed everything in.

Life won’t ever be perfect.

There will be things we want to do, but we won’t have the time or means.

There will be stuff we want, but can’t afford.

There will be tough decisions to make together that not everyone will agree with… but are ours to make anyway.

There will be days when we drive each other up the wall and see life through completely different lenses.

There will be obstacles to deal with that will absolutely, unavoidably, achingly suck.

But we’ll figure it out.

And that “we” makes all the difference.