I’ve never really been one for resolutions, maintained or broken or otherwise.

I firmly believe you can change whenever you decide change is necessary, whether the calendar reads January 1st or June 3rd or October 31st (Halloweenolutions!)

I do understand the desire to change things whenever a momentous date comes around, be it New Year’s or your birthday or the tenth anniversary of when you started drinking coffee. And actually, on the tenth anniversary of when I started drinking coffee, I made a huge commitment to drink coffee forever.

I can commit, for serious.

BUT.

I get a little tired of everyone Facebooking (I know it’s not a real verb, I promise) and Tweeting (that IS a real verb, but only for birds and a particular kind of speakery thingy — the opposite of a woofer?) and blogging their new diet and fitness and personal habits and emotional change plans. Not because I don’t think they shouldn’t make changes — hey, you should change whenever you want, and if you need support, shout it out — but because it makes me feel like a bit of a dork for not seeking out new leaves to turn over.

That’s why I decided to flip the whole thing, and choose some stuff that I WASN’T going to change in the coming year, just to reaffirm that a) I like stuff I do! and b) YOU CAN’T MAKE ME RESOLVE! and c) okay, it doesn’t really affirm anything, it’s an exercise that would make any decent psychologist rub their hands together in glee.

That said…

1. I’m still going to read more magazines than I’ll read content on websites. I like the glossy feel of magazine pages in my hands, the linear experience of reading through an issue, and the happy anticipation of the next one in the mail. And you can’t swat a fly with your laptop unless IT’S A REALLY BIG CYBERFLY.

2. I’m going to keep drinking coffee. Same amount. Maybe more. Maybe from one of those hats with the straws. Maybe from the gutter I end up in when I spend all my income on extra shots. Just… one… more.

3. I don’t intend to stop texting instead of talking on the phone. Why? Because people who talk on their phones on trains and buses, and people who carry on extended personal conversations in the workplace… are ANNOYING. And I commute two hours a day (train or bus), and work another nine or ten (you guessed it… in a workplace!) By the time that’s all done? I’m barely able to drool all over my dinner, let alone carry on a discussion. Ask Gradon. Sometimes I just tap on his arm and smile. Four times means “I love you, honey.” Or “No feeling in face.”

4. I’m not wearing heels unless I have to. Yeeeees, ladies, I know — your legs and your butt look better in heels. But I also look better when I’m not teetering like an elephant on a golf tee, or limping down the cobblestones like a pirate.

5. I will continue to love Apple products. At this point, Steve Jobs would pretty much have to come at me with a mob of clowns and butterflies and half-tees and novelty socks to get me to give them up. And Gradon got me an iPad for Christmas, too! I’m sure the second generation will come out plated in gold or whatnot, but for now? Happy sigh.

6. I will continue to cook with butter. And olive oil and peanut oil and grapeseed oil and other cheerful fats (I think that was a college nickname of mine), too. But mostly butter. Because Julia Child did it, and one day I, too, hope to have someone start a blog about trying to cook everything I’ve cooked. And then they’ll even make a movie about the blog! Or I will, by lurking outside their apartment with a video camera. Wait. Maybe not the last part.

7. I will continue to blog sporadically, because a) my dad follows me on Twitter now, so I don’t have to picture him refreshing the page endlessly, hoping for something new, and b) sporadically sounds better than “lazily” or “badly” or “why do you still pay to have a website, you pathetic trollop.”

How about you?