Everyone around me is rushing off to the polls, but I — token visa-holding Canadian girl with no power over the US government except the power of handing over my tax dollars which isn’t actually very powerful, sigh — am drinking a latte and contemplating the magic and wonder of coffee.

Now, this isn’t a partisan blog — trust me, I delete political comments while making a “ha HA!” sound — but I do encourage you to exercise your right to vote. Why did you pay all those taxes (Willie Nelson and Wesley Snipes notwithstanding) if you didn’t want to have any say in who was going to spend them?

But when you’re done voting, it’s time to exercise your choosing muscles right here!

Pick one of the two options for each choice below, and leave your whole list in the comments. Don’t waver or explain or justify… just choose. Don’t say “both”, either, because that’s just pansy ass.

And though I don’t spend any of your tax dollars (well, except when I call the fire department to get pretend cats out of a tree just so I can try on their hats), I’m proud of you for taking a stand.

Apples or oranges?

Post Its, or lists on your computer?

Stairs or elevator?

Drive, or be the passenger?

Fish, or cut bait?

Raincoat or umbrella?

Go to bed early, or sleep late (if you’re catching up on sleep)?

Talking on the phone, or sending emails?

Staples or paper clips?

Staycationer or world traveler?

Tea or coffee?

Yell, or silent treatment?

Comedy or drama?

iPhone or anything else?

Sing, or play an instrument?

Digital or analog?

And just some things I vote for, in general (please feel free to note yours!): puppies; green apples; flaky pastry; long drives listening to NPR; letterpress anything; the smell of coconuts; manners; McDonald’s french fries; fluffy white towels; RED CUPS @ STARBUCKS; brunches with TONS of bacon; cool autumn days; playing Rock Band 2 with G & E; winter white coats; zillions of shades of pashminas; giant sunglasses; my new rice cooker; and bunches of flowers, just for me!