shame… delicious shame.
As the daughter of a father who loves jazz, bespoke clothing and the New York Times Sunday Edition, and a mother who has beautiful taste in interior design, possesses a thorough knowledge of art history, and tends to wear black about 70% of the time, I have no idea how I ended up choosing flip flops as a wardrobe staple, loving the trashiest music of the mid-90’s, and knowing the names of every member of Dog the Bounty Hunter’s family.
Sigh.
Sure, I have many tastes in common with these lovely, cultured people who tried to provide me with classy genes, but I also, well… I read US.
I’ve done posts here inviting people to share their most shameful loves, but every single time I whip people into a confessional frenzy, someone pops up and says, “Why are you ashamed? I really like that stuff, and I don’t see anything wrong with it!”
Which is true, really — the idea of some things as “shameful culture” is highly variable. One man’s trash is another man’s treasure, and so on.
But we’re not talking about snobbery here. We’re not talking about stuff you proudly love and shout from the rooftops and are a fan of on the Facebook. I ain’t judgin’. Dig what you dig. Be proud. I could give a rat’s ass if EVERY SNAZZY LADY ON THE STREETS OF BOSTON STARED AT MY FLIPPITY FLOPPITY FEET IN DISDAIN.
No, what we’re talking about is the stuff you DO hide because it makes your friends and family groan, the stuff you don’t talk about at the office because your boss would demote you, the stuff you KNOW would make your spouse question your sanity, the stuff you see the WORLD mocking relentlessly… but you?
YOU CANNOT GET ENOUGH.
I want you to out yourself right here.
And I shall do the same.
SHAMEFUL JOYS
(I can hear my dad weeping already)
Million Dollar Listing
New York Fries at the mall with the “Cajun” salty stuff
Cosmopolitan
Singing along with Celine Dion (ONLY CERTAIN SONGS, I SWEAR)
Awards shows (and crying at speeches)
Extreme Home Makeover
I really love the little Polo horse and the little Lacoste alligator on my clothes
The entire Real Housewives franchise
Online personality quizzes
Compulsive lip gloss purchasing
Large, fake, cheap jewelry from Forever 21
Cherry Kool-Aid powder, consumed DRY
Uggs. Really. I want more pairs
Lik-M-Aid
Fake tanning
Boy bands
Anything “Salt N’ Vinegar”
Dance floor hits that rock dentist office Christmas parties: Disco Inferno, ABC, Mambo No. 5, and pretty much anything by C + C Music Factory
… and you?
January 26th, 2010 at 11:49 am
I weep - well, except for the Polo horse and the “salt and vinegar thing”.
January 26th, 2010 at 12:09 pm
1. Reading the blogs of random interesting people I find on Twitter
(Wait, who am I kidding, my friends don’t understand the internet outside of facebook.)
2. Twitter
3. Crying at movies/books made for children (i.e. Bridge to Terebithia)
4. Buying lottery tickets and planning in detail what I will do with my winnings
5. Splashing in puddles
kthxbye!
Kef…
January 26th, 2010 at 12:51 pm
I’m with iSore, though the little horse lost its cuteness when Ralph started making it a big horse. The alligator waited over a year and a half to follow suit, exemplifying the fact it’s never been as original as the horse.
January 26th, 2010 at 1:12 pm
1. Almost any Bravo reality show, especially the Housewives franchise.
2. I’m with you on the salt & vinegar thing.
3. Weeping over every single animals-in-distress commercial, video or story.
4. Shirts with skulls.
5. Compulsive dark nail polish purchases.
6. Driving way too fast.
5. Pink flannel pajamas with yellow ducks on them. NO ONE KNOWS THIS! Well, they didn’t until now.
January 26th, 2010 at 1:29 pm
It’s actually a crocodile my dears . .
January 26th, 2010 at 1:37 pm
You WOULD correct me on that.
January 26th, 2010 at 2:00 pm
Well Gradon said it too! And the croc is several decades older than the pony.
January 26th, 2010 at 2:02 pm
Really, young people nowadays! Hey, you kids, get off my lawn!!
January 26th, 2010 at 2:21 pm
Okay, so.
I know you have lots of unknown readers, so it isn’t odd that I read your blog and don’t know you. But I still feel a little creepy.
Shameful joy number one:
1. reading other people’s well-written lives.
And oh, so many more:
2. Trashy dating shows.
3. Top Ramen.
4. Yes, online personality quizzes.
5. Almost believing spam emails that tell me I’ve won large sums of money.
6. Justin Timberlake in any form.
7. Wearing the same pair of jeans at least four days in a row.
8. Actually kind of wanting those indie-hipster giant sized black rimmed glasses.
9. Really, really, ridiculously large diamond earrings that are clearly fake and clearly cost a total of five dollars.
January 26th, 2010 at 2:39 pm
I like Paris Hilton.
January 26th, 2010 at 2:57 pm
Nothing shameful about JT, Brooke!!
January 26th, 2010 at 3:53 pm
I love Ruffles Sour Cream and Cheddar chips, any candy that is simultaneously crunchy and sour (see Giant Sweet Tarts), tarot cards, and vintage t-shirts.
January 26th, 2010 at 5:21 pm
I’m so glad you wrote this post. I host daily internal struggles in my brain that involve me trying to like politics more than I like gossip rags, etc. Glad I;’m not the only one - and that the others out there who like the cheesy shiz I like are people I wouldn’t mind being like. Keep lovin’ Mambo Number 5.
January 26th, 2010 at 8:34 pm
Older does not beget more original, regardless of which type of prehistoric lizard it is.
January 26th, 2010 at 8:40 pm
Bugles (see link)… totally addictive.
January 26th, 2010 at 9:16 pm
Are you calling Rene LaCoste a prehistoric lizard?
January 27th, 2010 at 10:55 am
I’m 32 and I love Taylor Swift. I sing along with her songs loudly in the car. I’d like to say it’s because I work with middle-schoolers, but really it’s just because I am uncool like that.
January 28th, 2010 at 2:52 pm
I like Gossip Girl. In fact, I am losing my mind a teeny bit, because Gossip Girl hasn’t started again since Christmas break.
I should mention, because I’ve never been to your site before, that I am going to be 36 in 2 weeks. I really am too old to like Gossip Girl.
Also, the new 90210 ain’t half bad.
Earlier this week, I was overcome with the urge to consume an entire can of chili. Disgusting, especially since I was planning to make chili for dinner that night.
(shame)
January 28th, 2010 at 4:03 pm
I just blogged my list:
* That “cheese” you can buy that sits right next to the salsa. Also for taco chip dipping. I could eat a whole jar of that … modified corn starch. Yum.
* Coors Light. I don’t even think people who actually drink beer acknowledge it.
* Uggs (just like Meg). I want those Knightsbridge boots. Baaaaad.
* 7th Heaven.
* Fake crab meat. Orgasmic.
* Lipstick, lipgloss, liptint … lip anything. I’m hooked.
* Picking my nose. It’s true. When I find a really significant booger — I’ve done my part for humanity.
* Wiping my forehead grease on Steve’s glasses.
* Talking in the mirror. I get it from Emma.
* Baked Tater tots covered in mushroom soup and cheese.
* Big Brother.
January 29th, 2010 at 6:54 am
I love watching *The Bachelor*. (It’s the shameful truth.)
January 29th, 2010 at 7:40 am
My husband and I watch “16 and Pregnant” and “Teen Mom” on MTV. Like, we got really excited last week about the season finale. And we know all the names of the characters. Yes, we are almost thirty.