megfowler.com

I love organic everything and natural everything and never came across a vegetable I didn’t like. But I also adore french fries and hot wings and can’t imagine my life without a saltshaker.

I love reading words that are spun together with time, talent, and genius. But I also read every silly fashion magazine I can get my hands on, from In Style to Allure to US.

I love working hard and delivering the best product I possibly can — better than anything that was expected. But I also find myself easily distracted, and prone to second-guessing my understanding of what I am supposed to do… then wondering if I’ll ever actually get it right.

I love beautiful fabrics and beautiful lines, and wish I were as elegant as Sophia Loren or Audrey Hepburn or Grace Kelly. But I also prefer life in flip flops, and sport $3 rings more often than not.

I love seeing people enjoy the successes they’ve worked so hard for… even those that just landed in their laps. But I also find myself wondering why similar choices in my life don’t yield similar results.

I love communicating well and listening well and making a connection that will last. But I also have a tendency to rant and nag and push and remember old grievances.

I love being in love and doing everything it takes to make that work. But I also struggle with jealousy, and worry that things will work out — i.e. not work out — the way they have so many times in the past.

I love celebrating unique beauty and all the diverse shapes we inhabit as we walk this earth. But I also wonder if people look at me and think I’m impossibly large and ugly.

I love making my parents happy and being 100% the person they expect me to be. But I also make choices with abandon that I know disappoint them.

I love being my best. But I am well aware that there is much of my worst that shows up when I wish it wouldn’t.

So many contradictions for one person.

But that’s me.

many thanks.

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!

You have brains in your head
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.

You’ll look up and down streets. Look ‘em over with care.
About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.”
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
you’re too smart to go down any not-so-good street.

And you may not find any
you’ll want to go down.
In that case, of course,
you’ll head straight out of town.

It’s opener there
in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy
and footsy as you.

And when things start to happen,
don’t worry. Don’t stew.
Just go right along.
You’ll start happening too.

OH!
THE PLACES YOU’LL GO!

You’ll be on your way up!
You’ll be seeing great sights!
You’ll join the high fliers
who soar to high heights.

You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed.
You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you’ll be the best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don’t
Because, sometimes, you won’t.

I’m sorry to say so
but, sadly, it’s true
and Hang-ups
can happen to you.

You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You’ll be left in a Lurch.

You’ll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you’ll be in a Slump.

And when you’re in a Slump,
you’re not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked.
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And IF you go in, should you turn left or right…
or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused
that you’ll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place…

…for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.

NO!
That’s not for you!

Somehow you’ll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You’ll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.

With banner flip-flapping,
once more you’ll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!

Oh, the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored. there are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball
will make you the winning-est winner of all.
Fame! You’ll be famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they don’t.
Because, sometimes, they won’t.

I’m afraid that some times
you’ll play lonely games too.
Games you can’t win
’cause you’ll play against you.

All Alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you’ll be quite a lot.

And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance
you’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on.

But on you will go
though the weather be foul
On you will go
though your enemies prowl
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.

On and on you will hike
and I know you’ll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.

You’ll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You’ll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life’s
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU’LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

So…
be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O’Shea,
you’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So… get on your way!

If you are a Vancouverite, whether you were born and bred here, or arrived after a stay in a less mountainy, oceany, tree-y city or town, you know four key things:

1. When you visit other places, people say, “Ohhh, you live in VANCOUVER?” with a distinct tone of envy, as though you’d said, “I live in a hut built from money.”

2. Then they make fun of the rain, as though they want to level the playing field. But we all know it isn’t level. Smirk, smirk.

3. Everyone thinks Whistler is in your backyard, when it’s actually about three hours away. Edmonton, is Calgary in your backyard? New York, is Boston in your backyard? Sheesh. But it does add to our “resort vibe.”

4. It doesn’t get super hot. I mean, yes, maybe two days a year, it gets super hot. And it doesn’t snow. Okay, maybe two days a year, it snows. But it melts! Really fast.

Now, of course, all this mystique is ruined.

1. Now everyone asks you about the junkies in Vancouver, since they’ve become the star of international coverage of the Olympics. Yes, we have a ton of junkies, as any warm city does. You can live on the streets here for a good portion of the year.

2. It has barely rained since May. Barely. I have used my umbrella maybe… six times, and three of those were yesterday. Last year, I used it almost every day for MONTHS.

3. Whistler is apparently TRYING to show up in my backyard, since we’ve become one big happy city for the 2010 Games. Well, except for the junkies. And the roving gangs of cyclists.

And uh… taxpayers.

4. It snowed this winter. For two months.

.

None of us knows what to say about that.

And this summer? Hottest days on record… EVER. EVER. And all this while the usually humid and hot East Coast got monsoon rains. RAINS.

WHAT IS GOING ON?

If we’re not melting in the heat, we’re fending off Olympic mascots.

If we’re not staring at our brown grass, we’re waiting in traffic while 300 people on really crappy bikes ride by without helmets.

If we’re not buying fans, we’re staring in fear at the snow shovels that are already being stocked in hardware stores because hey… all bets are off now.

We used to eat gelato while walking through lush, bee-filled gardens. We used to keep our Gore-Tex by our flip flops. We used to smile at our helmet and tight-short clad cyclists. We used to watch the Olympics on TV and drive to Whistler to look at rich people in snow pants.

And our only mascot was Fin (who blogs, apparently.)

I’m confused. I mean, I still love it here, but I’m confused.

So I think I’ll move.