the no list.
No explanations, no extrapolations, no excuses.
Just no.
NO
Vitamin smell
Platform flip flops
People who refuse to hang on to anything while taking transit
Yellow eyeshadow
Howard Stern
Sleep advice
“Clubbing”, be it imitating Paris Hilton or bonking baby seals
Most of what American Apparel sells
The uniboob
Leggings as pants
Sneezing post-mascara-application
You Tube sensations
Calling anything but the upper part of a baked good a “muffin top”
Shoe shopping
Wedge heels
Those cards that fall out of magazines
Being ignored
The phrase “going forward”
Air kissing
The fashion sense of Chloe Sevigny
Facebook invitations
Autoplay video on websites
Celebrity perfumes
1-ply toilet paper
Muppet characters created after 1984
“Sour” candies that aren’t really sour
Oversensitive smoke detectors
Elton John after 1987
Ads that are MUCH more loud than the tv show
The terrifying possibilities of the autoflush toilet
Oprah’s recommendations
The idea that “plus size” women are “minus style”
Coupons for 10% off something that are not worth my time unless it’s 10% off a car or a house
Fake banana smell
Baby pageants
The McRib
The Entire Canadian Telecom Industry
The eternal comeback of David Hasselhoff
Star Wars prequels
Fruit salad that is suspiciously mostly cantaloupe
Windows Vista
Slow shower drains
Gladiator sandals
Aspartame
The term MILF and all variants thereof
The question, “Do you have a lazy eye?” (no, it’s just tired of looking at you)
MySpace
Hipster t-shirts with ironic sayings
High-waisted jeans
The phrase “baby bump”
“Spice” coloured pantyhose
Floral air fresheners
Red Bull
Flaky internet connections
“Torture porn” horror movies
Jamie Kennedy
May 25th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
E says you should add mustard, onions, cheese, and chocolate to the list.
Me, if it’s food, tomatoes and mushrooms. Blech!
May 25th, 2009 at 6:59 pm
Absolutely agreed.
Now me: words/phrases
Utilize
Hella + anything
In this economy
How are we doing?
Fashion
Neck tattoos
Gauge ear holes
Any phrase printed across someone’s butt, but ESPECIALLY innuendo
Restaurant names with stupid references to body parts: Hooters, Pink Taco
That Am. Apparel owner dude
Farting mufflers (the ones that are modified on purpose to make a farting noise)
Subwoofers (usually on the same car as previous entry)
May 25th, 2009 at 11:15 pm
Oh Dear! I just bought a pair of wedge slip-ons. But I’m old and can’t be trusted to get it right all the time. ‘E’ and Gradon, we had a young man who had very similar food tastes, but no more- he’s a foodie now and things change. Suebob, - Meg used to crack up at a coffee shop in Edmonton called ‘Twig and Berries’ (have a picture of it somewhere!?)
May 26th, 2009 at 8:12 am
“Most of what American Apparel sells.” I second that “No.”. Love your lists! Liked your summer list, too. I’ll have to make one of my own, as you suggested.
May 26th, 2009 at 10:31 pm
I love the plus sized women comment. I was thinking the same thing while trying to find a nice outfit for a wedding on Saturday! Just cuz I am big, doesn’t mean I want to look like a) an old lady b) a house (curves baby!) c) a polyester nightmare!
May 27th, 2009 at 10:36 am
“Most of what American Apparel sells” -YES (I only buy their scarves, because they are so so soft, and long!)
“Torture porn” horror movies -These actually make me enraged, and I will never ever watch another one.
Jamie Kennedy -Oh, yes, yes, yes. (Or rather: no, no, NO.)