No explanations, no extrapolations, no excuses.

Just no.

NO

Vitamin smell
Platform flip flops
People who refuse to hang on to anything while taking transit
Yellow eyeshadow
Howard Stern
Sleep advice
“Clubbing”, be it imitating Paris Hilton or bonking baby seals
Most of what American Apparel sells
The uniboob
Leggings as pants
Sneezing post-mascara-application
You Tube sensations
Calling anything but the upper part of a baked good a “muffin top”
Shoe shopping
Wedge heels
Those cards that fall out of magazines
Being ignored
The phrase “going forward”
Air kissing
The fashion sense of Chloe Sevigny
Facebook invitations
Autoplay video on websites
Celebrity perfumes
1-ply toilet paper
Muppet characters created after 1984
“Sour” candies that aren’t really sour
Oversensitive smoke detectors
Elton John after 1987
Ads that are MUCH more loud than the tv show
The terrifying possibilities of the autoflush toilet
Oprah’s recommendations
The idea that “plus size” women are “minus style”
Coupons for 10% off something that are not worth my time unless it’s 10% off a car or a house
Fake banana smell
Baby pageants
The McRib
The Entire Canadian Telecom Industry
The eternal comeback of David Hasselhoff
Star Wars prequels
Fruit salad that is suspiciously mostly cantaloupe
Windows Vista
Slow shower drains
Gladiator sandals
Aspartame
The term MILF and all variants thereof
The question, “Do you have a lazy eye?” (no, it’s just tired of looking at you)
MySpace
Hipster t-shirts with ironic sayings
High-waisted jeans
The phrase “baby bump”
“Spice” coloured pantyhose
Floral air fresheners
Red Bull
Flaky internet connections
“Torture porn” horror movies
Jamie Kennedy