thursday love list.

It’s not Friday.

You may have noticed, since tomorrow isn’t Saturday.

(That’s often how I get all this “days of the week” crap sorted out: “Is tomorrow Saturday?” “No.” “Okay, only six more days to eliminate. Whew.”)

Usually I write my Love Lists on Fridays, but it’s been so long since I wrote ANYTHING here that I don’t think anyone’s going to complain. And if you DO want to complain, that’s okay, too. You’re probably just overtired. That’s what my mom used to tell me all the time when I was crabby. Which totally made me uncrabby, of course. Right, Mom?

(My mother just said, “HA!” audibly. Count on it.)

I’ve been loving a lot of things lately, which makes it easy to write a list like this.

Mind you, I’ve also been aggravated by a lot of things lately. I could write a list about that, too. But I figure if I write the Love List first, I might forget about some of the contents of that other list.

Make sense?

Yes, I am a GOOD rambler.

THINGS I LOVE

Gradon – who still holds his place at the top of the list. I wish I could put him higher, but there you go. I wonder sometimes if y’all remember I said I’d never talk about relationships here. And I really meant that at the time, because I’d had such rollercoaster-y and unhappy experiences with men that I just thought I’d end up whining if I brought it to these pages. And I am NOT a fan of people resolving their relationship issues publicly — ever. And we won’t. But man… Gradon is fantastic. He makes me laugh. He makes me feel beautiful. His heart is open to all the things I believe and want out of life. He changes and evolves into a better man every day. He impressed the heck out of my family. I can already tell you he’s a stellar dad. For me not to mention how blessed I am after the random desert I was in with the opposite sex prior to now seems like a bit of a crime — if only to Gradon. So there you go.

The squeak of guitar strings
Fresh, clean sheets that smell like Bounce
Vitamin D
Scrubbing the bathtub
Rows of gorgeous old brownstones
Squooshy rugs on hardwood floors
Making my own curry
Watching football with my man
Genmaicha tea
Deodorant
Unnecessary applause
Rosy cheeks from being outside
The smell of leather
Sunshine-y mornings after rainy nights
My Bodum double-walled glass mug
Debates where you learn something
Eyebrow plucking (masochist? maybe. but I love my arches!)
Unnecessary lip glosses
Feeling kindred
Jeans that are long enough without being too long. Which is apparently nearly impossible for me.
Tipping
Big sunglasses
Coastline drives
Hand-talking
Unlined Moleskines
The promise of cherry blossoms soon
Friends who make you laugh during the morning commute until you cry
Cadbury Creme Eggs (I don’t care how gross they are. I just don’t.)
Things that smell like real, true, non-suntan-lotion coconutty goodness
The smell of suntan lotion (embrace irony!)
Ice-cold glasses of milk
Ponytails (you don’t know what you got ’til it’s gone!)
Dreams you don’t want to wake up from
Good, dark strong coffee in the middle of the night when you’ve got a couple more hours work left to do
Sleeping in
Tickets booked to Boston — see the first item in list

And you?

a title that mentions something about not blogging for a while, self-deprecates, then indicates the drought may, in fact, be over… but no promises.

I get emails all the time from people asking me why I don’t write very much right now.

Am I sick? Am I too busy? Am I depressed? Is it Gradon’s fault? Am I spending all the time I used to spend blogging on the phone? Was blogging filling a void now filled by Gradon? Am I unable to log in to my account? Has my life taken a strange turn that leaves me unable to relate it to you in text?

The answers?

Yes. Yes. No. I wouldn’t say so. Depends on the night. Ha — no… no void. No, I can get in. And sometimes.

The truth is, I’ve never had such a busy time in my life. And I’ve never had such an exciting time in my life. And while the latter makes me want to jump online and spill my guts on this page, the former means I sometimes lack the will to come up with guts to spill.

But I always know when I haven’t been coming here to do what I do, because my brain gets far too clogged up to function.

This is my release valve, my soapbox, my wishing well, my burial ground, my self-named thing that prevents me from being TOO self-righteous about the fact that Oprah names everything after herself.

This is me.

And though I’ve been blogging since 2004, I don’t think I’ve ever had as much to blog about at any point in those five years as I have in the past year of my life.

Which, of course, is why I slowed right down.

Because I always know what to say when there is nothing to say — but doing justice to this full phase of my existence is something else entirely.

But I know I need it.

And you’re still here, right?