I had a conversation with my friend Steve once about the Chicken McNugget (while I was eating a McNugget, mind you.)
He claimed they had more ingredients than anything else on the menu at McDonalds, and I was a little skeptical.
“More than the soda? More than the cookies? More than, say, a Shamrock shake? Who even knows what’s in those? McNuggets are just batter — which has a few ingredients, yes — and pressed chicken and seasoning and oil. What about the spectre of the McRib? There’s some crazy shit in there.”
“The horror of the term ‘pressed chicken’ notwithstanding, I’m pretty sure you’re underestimating what they add to the chicken when they McNugget it.”
“I already mentioned the oil and seasoning?”
“No, I don’t mean salt and grease. I mean, stuff to make it more… chicken-textured.”
“Okay, the horror of the term ‘chicken-textured’ notwithstanding, what the hell does that mean?”
“Thickeners, texturizers, bodifiers…”
“They put hair products in McNuggets?”
“Seriously. They might. Don’t be naive.”
“Okay, I know there are lots of ingredients, but I still think by saying they have ‘the most’ that you’re full of crap.”
“You’re full of McNuggets. AND WHO KNOWS WHAT THAT MIGHT INVOLVE!”
“Do you want one? I AM totally full.”
“Yes.”