megfowler.com

haiku for you meg
we are the bestest roommates
i watch you at night.

dusty fax machine
you are the steve guttenberg
of office supplies

pencil sharpener
much too dull to make a point
you should try blogging

I’d edit it, but this email was fantastic all by itself.

My dad is a longtime hockey fan (who lost some of his love when the new NHL rules broke) who has been watching the Canucks organization beat itself about the head during the offseason with no small amount of chagrin.

Here are his thoughts…

***

iDaughter: (ed. note: that’s what he calls me via email)

In the past 24 hours, you have posted items both sad and sweet — but now you need to address something serious: the sad state of your beloved hockey team, and why they have lost their soul and their captain and have done nothing in free agency.

I offer an opinion. (ed.note: I am used to this…)

Ownership once again misfired and hired a GM who has no NHL experience as a GM — and worse, they hired a former player agent. Player agents are essentially parasites who really offer nothing of value to professional sports.

Players tolerate them (but don’t love them) and general managers hate them with a passion because they are responsible for players thinking they are worth more than they really are. Now, some general managers who likely have a serious hate on for Gillis are enjoying payback time and they won’t trade with him, and players likely don’t want to deal with him either.

When the Griffith family sold the team it was the beginning of a slow descent into mediocrity and less.

Come on now! Raise the ire of fans, challenge them to show management how they feel (don’t buy tickets, jerseys, pay-per-view, etc.) and perhaps ownership will realize that the Canucks fans will not continue to pour money into watching a losing team. (ed. note: This is hard for me, because I DO love the sport and I DO love lots of the players — it would be like management ruining things for them TWICE… and I’m not sure the lesson would get through to Gillis and his cronies anyway.)

They need a GM with solid, winning NHL experience — even on an interim basis — and they need a coach with a winning NHL record. They are one of the wealthiest teams in one of the richest markets in the NHL (I believe they rank # 5) so it is time to give the fans the management, coaching and team they deserve for all of their faithful support.

(ed. note: COULD NOT AGREE MORE!)

Amen! (ed. note: he is a Baptist minister. I think this is more of a “selah” moment, but….)

***

When I asked if I could post this “as is”:

“As long as you edit it for style, wit and panache (ed. note: not necessary), and mention that there are likely sports writers and broadcasters in Vancouver who think the same thing but are not permitted to print it or say it.”

Totally agree. And if they could, we might start to see some rumblings of change. But for now, it’s up to my dad to bring it!

15 Things I’m Thankful For Right Now

1. Sunshine and blue skies in oft-rainy Vancouver.
2. Spending time with my dear friend Eric while he’s in town macking on my roommate (his girlfriend, Catherine).
3. Coffee in my round turquoise mug
4. The smell of coconut in my Skin Trip lotion.
5. My mom’s soft heart and my dad’s sense of humour.
6. That I live in a place where I can find fresh food to eat all the time, and I have the money to do it.
7. For the ability to make plans and dream dreams and actually have them come true.
8. The patience and grace my friends show me.
9. That my neck seems to be on the mend today!
10. For music, and how much it changes and shapes my day.
11. For the freedom to put my thoughts up here, and your kindness in reading them.
12. For memories of perfect summer moments — Nat Bailey baseball games, lying on the beach at La Jolla, checking out the whales at Sea World, road trips with windows down, slurpees by the pool. living in flip flops. (See above)
13. Windex. I just think it’s awesome.
14. Laughter, even at inopportune moments.
15. You.

That was the title my dad suggested, and who am I to quibble?

Mike the kitten passed away today under the vet’s advisement and my mom’s heartbreaker of a decision, the victim of probable feline leukemia and multiple infections that left him well below his optimum weight — 1/3 of what he should have been. My mom was there until the end, because that’s the kind of mom she is.

He was buried at the farm tonight, with full honours.

Mike, you had lovely big ears and dear eyes, and we will miss your kitten future. You made a lot of us smile just by, well… being.

Way to have heart, little guy.

Thanks to my mom and dad for welcoming such a wee, fragile one in, and for taking care of him until it was his time to go.

I had not met Mike yet, so I suppose I have no call to be sad… but I’m crying anyway.

If you’re small and need love, you have my heart from the get-go, no matter what.

For those of you that wondered about new Fowler (parents) family member, Mike, an update from my dad (pardon the graphic language):

“Thank your readers for their interest.

Mike went to visit the vet yesterday for his first quick check-up. He has “da worms” and so he was administered a large pill yesterday and he receives the second one in ten days. His medication is making him a bit sluggish but he decided he was not going to pose for any pictures today so they are little shaky.

He also has the “squits” which is a conflation of squirts and s*** — the medication makes him “loose.” So he receives freqent towel changes and baths.

He has a very good appetite and is eating kitten kibble with enthusiasm — but he hates getting bathed.

I have included a photo of Annabelle who is not being hospitable and seems to actually be terrified of Mike — even though she is about ten times his size. If you put him anywhere near her she meows very loud and long, perhaps hisses, and then runs away. But she is being very, very friendly with me — I think she now hates your mother.”

Here’s Annabelle (my late grandparents’ cat):

… and one of Mike’s siblings (at the farm):

And that’s your Mike update for today.

moar funny pictures

Meet Mike.

(Even as a child, where were you?)

You’ve been pretty absent in my life thus far, Neck.

While other people have swanlike, willowy, ballerina-esque head perches, I have approximately two inches of somethingorother that keeps my head from resting squarely on my shoulders. Or roundly, as the case may be.

You see?

Neckless.

So neckless, I can barely wear a necklace:

Oh, the shame.

So it SEEMS A LITTLE IRONIC, I’d have to say, dearest neck, that you are causing me such PAIN today.

That’s right.

You’re being a pain in the neck, Neck, and I’ve had it.

You did this almost two years ago, this strange, rigid, startling OW DAMMIT OW thing, and I didn’t like it much then, either.

I had to take DRUGS to make it better.

LIKE METH.

No, just kidding… it was only Flexeril, but STILL.

I don’t like feeling druggy or slow or dippy. And I really don’t like pain.

I’d rather not have to deal with either.

But my point remains:

If you are going to cause me pain, AT LEAST SHOW YOURSELF.

Love,

Certainly Not a Resident of Great Neck

Oh, and maybe take a listen to this.

we have football, but
we throw frozen fish, not ball
huddle is smelly

mighty maple leaf
red on flag, blue for hockey
but ends in “fs”

we like to smoke things
salmon, and montreal meat
sandwiches for all

yes, we have a queen
but she doesn’t live here, no
pansy about cold.

huge land mass, half snow
we all live by the border
go across for milk

we love our hockey
but keep your stick on the ice
we can check from birth.

loonie and toonie
don’t you be mocking our coins
throw one at your face!

you assume down there
we are all igloo bound here
no, we have condos