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That’s right — ALLERGY SUFFERERS ARE THE MOST POSITIVE PEOPLE ON EARTH!

I don’t know if you have allergies… but if you don’t?

YOU ARE MISSING OUT!

Those of us with a tendency to “react” are truly a breed apart.

We can itch and drip and swell at stuff that most people don’t even NOTICE.

It’s like having a superpower, really — Captain Ultrasensitive!

So whether you develop hives when someone uses the wrong detergent or mowing the lawn causes your face to come off or you turn into a giant circle of pain when you eat oranges, I SALUTE YOU!

Allergics of the world, unite!

10 Reasons Allergy Sufferers Are The Chosen

10. Curious what that unique flavour in the sauce is? Wonder no more! It’s cilantro — just check out how my tongue turned into a pufferfish!

9. We are some of the most skilled amateur chemists in the world, combining sprays, pills, syrups, inhalers and vitamins to create a cocktail of relief. If a worldwide epidemic breaks out, we’ll be the ones to stop it… as long as it makes us itchy.

8. Yard work? Just try sending us on guilt trip when pulling weeds = certain death.

7. We’re the kind of nut-free that doesn’t get you mocked in locker rooms.

6. If scientists ever figure out how to convert mucous into fuel, we are GOLD MINES.

5. Cat missing? Just invite an allergy sufferer into your home. They’ll be back and on our lap in NO time.

4. Certain kinds of decongestants alter creativity and perception to the point where Thomas Kinkade paintings give off ACTUAL light.

3. Where you might have to refuse that weird, oozing snack your boss brought into the office at least five times in a day and risk offending them so you’ll have to “go ahead and come in on Saturday”, all we need to say is, “Oh, looks good, but my heart will stop!”

2. Leaders in the “post-moistened” wipe industry.

1. As Dr. McMahon said, “Sneezing is better than sex. It’s a mini-instant-orgasm. Not only that, but you keep your clothes on, you don’t get involved, you can do it in public, and when you’re done, perfect strangers bless you!”

Trust me… I’ve heard so many blessings, I may well be the de facto Pope.

Celtics! Lakers! Game Six! In Boston!

CLOSE THE DEAL, CELTICS!

I know, I know… you’re thinking, “What the hell? She watches THAT, too?”

Yep, on and off.

But it’s even more exciting because of this brilliant “nostalgia rivalry” and the fact that my dad is actively, hopefully cheering for the… other team.

GO CELTICS GO!

Win it at home!

Actually, ask more of me!

And when I say that, I mean ASK MEG!

Yes, it’s time for another round of someone’s favourite game (I’m sure there’s someone out there, even if they don’t get out much and are inordinately attached to their hamster and wooly blankie).

Advice? Yes! Opinions? Yes! Random stories? Yes! Haiku for dedicated topics? Yes! Menu suggestions? Yes! Playlists for occasions? Yes! Childhood stories? Yes! Product recommendations? Yes!

You can get it all right here!

I can’t vouch for the quality of any of it, but hey… if you come here often, you know there’s no guarantee of anything but wordiness and overly long or opaque titles.

Quality is for squares!

I’m much more circle-shaped, really.

If you’ve got an “Ask Meg”, just drop me an email at megATmegfowlerDOTcom, or leave it in the comments. I’ll be answering in the comments as it goes on…

YAY!