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meg fowler tripp dot com
You are currently browsing comments. If you would like to return to the full story, you can read the full entry here: “BREAKING: frog in video game still startled by oncoming car in tenth level.”.
I didn’t read any of the links because…um…I don’t care. However, I stand on the same side of the stage you do for the curtain call. If you can’t live with what you are about to say being spread all over someplace you wouldn’t choose to spread it…don’t even say it.
Love…love…love your writing.
The article was entertaining to me in the same way that American Idol tryouts always are; a big bucket of reality getting dumped over the heads of kids who thought they were special.
But on a larger level, re: all the Facebooker’s MySpacer’s, Idol wannabees and others; what is the void that these people are attempting to fill with all their “oversharing”? And is this a recent phenomenon, or has it been there for generations waiting for the internet age to finally give it a voice?
People today post things on the internet that most folks twenty years ago wouldn’t tell a shrink. I’m not sure that’s progress…
I’m not in the proper mental condition to give this post the praise it deserves after a really busy day, but I really enjoyed it.
Excellent post, Meg – maybe it should be required reading for anyone who’s thinking of starting a blog account anywhere.
:-)
Approbation of dumbasses. That’s good.
It’s really pretty simple; You write it, you wear it. And, the internet doesn’t do laundry very well.
Two things: in response to, “how/where you draw the line re: mentioning friends/fam online”… obviously I’m a new blogger and still learning, but I think you have to err on the side of being extremely conservative. If you do identify someone by name or relationship, the front pg of the NY Times rule applies (aka anything they’d be mad to see you put there is out).
One other (v. minor) point: I totally agree that Gould did some stupid things, should have known better, and got what was coming to her. But to be fair, she did own up to her role to some extent. Instead of erasing everything from the Internet she did leave it up and basically said, “this is what I did, it’s part of me now, I’m accepting it.” I think we’ve got to give her at least a shred of respect for that, even though, yes, the mag should not have indulged her by running this article and masking it as a ‘coming of age’-type thing. She gives the blog world a bad rep.
I guess I didn’t read any “Poor me, look what the nasty Internet did to me.” into it. Yes, she complains of having felt exposed, but she does admit that it was entirely her own fault. I read it as a cautionary tale. One that most of us with common sense shouldn’t need to read, but I’m sure we’re all aware that common sense isn’t a pervasive trait in society.
If I think there is any chance that someone might not like anything I want to say about them on my blog, I ask first. Of course, it seems a good rule in general not to ever say anything about someone on the internet that you wouldn’t say directly to his or her face, even if you don’t think they’ll ever find it. They might.
Someone asked me whether knowing that my ex-boyfriend reads my blog makes me hold back on what I might otherwise write. Nope. I never imagined that by dating me, he had given up his right to privacy and I won’t stop respecting that just because we broke up. Even if I wanted to flame him (which I don’t – he is a genuinely decent guy) I have to assume that any hypothetical future boys will have access to my blog, and who would take a chance on dating someone who has a record of defaming exes online?
Right on Sister! Couldn’t have said it better myself. I found the article to be a gratuitous ‘oh, woe is me’ piece written (and not well I might add) by a narcissistic, immature young woman who would prefer to blame the external rather than the internal for her choices. Was this piece supposed to be about the downfalls of blogging or the downfalls of acting inappropriately in a public forum?
Well said! I’ve certainly given into the temptation in the past to overshare and paid the price with my in-laws, so I work hard to edit myself. I think that part of the problem is that writers are taught to write about what hurts, about what’s got the most emotional charge because that’s where the best writing comes from, and those topics are always the most personal and intimate.
But after a while it becomes a crutch, and people just depend on that tidbit of personal information to keep readers hooked instead of actually approaching their writing as a craft.
I say all of this as a reader of blogs, and not a writer, because I also don’t devote enough time to writing any more.
Anyway, great article.
Thank you guys so much for your comments. I appreciate all the thoughts!
I do, to address what many of you said, sense that she DOES regret the things she’s done on some level. I’ve made my share of mistakes, too, and I know what it’s like to put yourself out there and feel like an idiot.
I wish I sensed that regret as MUCH as you do, but I don’t. I think all of this has made a career for her that she would have taken much longer to develop otherwise. And she’s a great writer — who knows how far she would have gone without scandal.
But the point is, she was in a position to make better choices, and the bad choices she’s made have benefited her professionally as much as they’ve harmed her personally. She worked for a website that parlayed exposure into profits… I don’t think she was all that naive to how the game works.
I also don’t buy the youth argument quite as much — I think most people I know at 20 (people of varying backgrounds and temperaments, even) could have told you that there are certain things you just don’t have a right to do to other people, no matter how much others goad you on or push your buttons or make it easy for you to do it.
She is owning up to her actions in this article, but I think that’s a very different thing than owning them. Wouldn’t the ultimate ownership be to finally put others first and stop putting their lives on display?
Yes, we all make mistakes. I’m an idiot a good portion of the time. But while I can drag myself into the spotlight to show you that, it’s not fair for me to drag others with me, whether it’s on my blog or a cover story for Times Magazine.
Someone asked me if I’d write the story in her position, but I honestly can’t wrap my head around ending up there. How much money is worth hurting the people you love(d) again?
I know… bet you’re thinking, “Sour grapes, huh? Bet you wish you wrote well enough to get a Times cover!”
But even if I never write enough for that, I’m just happy to take a path I can live with.
Posts like this remind me why I love your insight and writing Meg. I felt the exact same way you felt after reading that Times article last week, I just kept shaking my head with each page turn.
Didn’t anyone ever teach that poor girl, “Don’t dish it out if you can’t take it.”?
That article annoyed the shit out of me, for most of the same reasons it did for you. People need to grow up, bloggers especially.
I have to agree with you Meg.
Each and every one of us that choose to own/run/publish a blog, in any form should be willing to “own” the screw ups, regrets, and joys of that medium they themselves chose to be a part of. Alas, this woman chose to…Wave a hand at it, and say yeah, I did it, now I have to live with it.
There has been many a time when even I myself have had to stop the writing process when it was going in a direction I never intended to go. It seems to me this young woman said, “Full speed ahead, and Damn the torpedoes!” and now, her 15 minutes of fame, is at the cost of people who actually cared about her.
I’ve been an admirer of your blog for some time now, and this post solidifies that point. I’ve seen the highs and lows here, but you’ve retained the integrity you started out with, and became a better person for it.
This young woman on the other hand, sold her soul for a career. Even I, couldn’t wrap my head around doing something like that.
Yeah, I’ve been known to make some pretty stupid choices in what I post in my blog, or even the podcast. But at least I’m willing to totally “own” those mistakes, and move on. Seems to me, she got what she wanted, and that was that.
Hi Meg,
Seeing as your blog is the only one I read I don’t feel I have sufficient experience to comment other than to say it appears to be a case of a simple moral value… “treat others as you would like to be treated.”
I’ve no time for people who bemoan the woes of their own indiscretions. Perhaps taking ownership of your actions is the first courageous step any potential writer should consider before proceeding to walk all over friends and relationships.