nine things.
1. I talk about coffee fairly often at my blog. And when I say fairly often, I mean ALWAYS. In fact, I sound rather obsessive and possibly unhinged about the wonder beans. Or do I just sound like that about everything? Sigh.
But here’s the truth: I COULD QUIT ANYTIME. I could. Really. And not even in the junkie-in-the-gutter SERIOUSLY I COULD DROP IT LIKE THAT kind of addiction, but rather the I CHOOSE TO ENJOY IT THIS MUCH kind of fondness. Part of the appeal of coffee for me is that it’s helpful — caffeine is a great bronchiodilator, and I’m both allergy-prone and asthmatic. Studies have also shown some drop in risks for certain types of cancer, but I snuff out those benefits with my other risk factors… huzzah!
I could stop drinking it tomorrow. I might be a little drowsy without the caffeine at first (I wouldn’t sub in other forms), but it’s entirely possible. In fact, someone once bet me I couldn’t go ten days without a cup, and I went 40, no problem. AND I got $300 bucks. Silly people. The only things I’m REALLY addicted to are showering in the morning, and taking off my shoes. Make me wear shoes all the time and go three days without showering? Then I’m a quivering, gelatinous mess. Count on it.
2. I can’t make it all the way through an iPod playlist. I just can’t. I wear out the battery on my iPod bouncing around like a ninny between songs, albums, playlists, and making On-The-Go playlists that I don’t make it all the way through, either. I use the stuff on my iPod in so many ways in the course of a day: as a motivator; as a time machine; as a relaxer; as perfect background; as a momentary dance band; and as an enhancer of already good moments.
I love having access to something that touches me emotionally EVERY SECOND OF THE DAY. Who needs a husband? WAIT, NO! I WAS JUST KIDDING!
3. It’s officially flip flop season around here. And even if it isn’t, IT IS. I’ve been rocking them for two weeks, and it’s been a bit touch and go, but I’m a happier girl when my toes are free to breathe. Yes, I own boots and shoes. Yes, I could survive in a colder climate. BUT WHY? WHY DO IT? TOES!
Eventually I’ll end up in California, at my little cottage near the beach. And then my system will acclimatize, and I’ll end up wearing boots and a sweater when the temperature drops below 10 C.
4. Speaking of colder climates, I’ll be attending my brother’s wedding this weekend in… wait for it… Yellowknife. Will I freeze to death? Potentially. Especially since he’s marrying the lovely Carey in a SNOW CASTLE. OR ICE CASTLE. OR COLD CASTLE OF SOME VARIETY.
Yes, that’s right. I’ll lose blood to my extremities as my brother pledges his life to another. I don’t know how that’s ironic, but I’m sure Alanis can figure it out for me.
5. Speaking of Alanis, is there some sort of time limit on when long hair is a good idea? Hers is LONG. Not Crystal Gayle long, but long for someone in this era who doesn’t collect faceless dolls or smell of patchouli. Although she might smell of patchouli. Only her friends know for sure.
I don’t.
But I do have long hair. And I think it looks fine. I mean, many Hollywood actresses much older than me have flowing locks, and no one thinks twice. Then again, I’m not a Hollywood actress. I’m a writer. And not in Hollywood. I can’t decide. Is it time to give up length for bounce and a responsible, soccer-mom-esque look?
Last time I cut my hair drastically, my response was so annoying my roommate officially bans me from doing it again. Not that this ban would REALLY stop me if I was REALLY committed, but if I came home whining, it could be the end of days for Meg.
6. M&Ms with nuts in them always taste stale. Why would I want chocolate and candy-coated stale and boring? That’s like putting Lou Dobbs in an Elvis jumpsuit and inviting people to buy it by the bagful.
7. I’m still dealing with the mental image from no. 6.
8. I’m losing my desire to eat. Isn’t that weird? I mean, I still love food, I just think about it about 75% less and have no idea what I want to eat until ten minutes before I eat it. It might be a hormonal thing, it might be an I’VE EATEN ALL OF THIS. SOMETHING NEW PLEASE? kind of thing, or it might just be that I’m growing more fickle by the moment and hate to be pinned down to a menu.
Or I’m just weird. Should I just default to that explanation?
9. My head is so full of things to write about that I’m almost unable to write these days. A lot of them are things I don’t normally write about here that might engender different reactions and discussions than I’ve ever had here. Some of them probably surprising. I’m not totally sure I’m ready for that step, though I know it’s an eventual reality.
And it’s not the fear of being disliked that stops me — in fact, the people I know would disagree are people who a) love me; b) aren’t going anywhere; c) can handle it. Funny thing, though… that’s exactly what stops me. I don’t mind sparring with people when my truest heart isn’t involved, but I find it difficult to risk offending the people I love. Even though I know they’re really not going anywhere.
Maybe it’s the lack of rejection that makes me so conscious of being worthy of that kind of devotion.
There, Alanis. There’s some irony for you.
Or maybe I have insecurities that I haven’t quite dealt with. Maybe I don’t trust unconditional love as much as I claim to.
At the end of the day (and other points in the day, but everyone starts sentences like this), I guess the evolution of my life/character/ideas over the past few years has created conundrums I never really faced before. I know what it’s like to lose things you took for granted.
So I’m trying not to do that anymore. Loss is not something I want to run headlong into at this point, since there’s enough of it that comes to me without prompting already.
And it hurts.
Wait, am I lying on a couch right now? Is someone taking notes?
Good thing I said I would stop at nine, huh?
March 19th, 2008 at 11:19 am
I’ve wondered the same thing about Peanut M&M’s. Even a fresh batch from Costco taste stale. Yet, if there’s a bag, I’ll eat them all. Even the 2 lb bags. Gone.
March 19th, 2008 at 11:38 am
She does smell like patchouli.
March 19th, 2008 at 11:43 am
1. Don’t give up coffee. it’s just not right.
2. I can’t even make it all the way through a single song. I’ve given up on even making playlists.
3. It’s always flip flop season. the ONLY thing that stops me from wearing flip flops is a foot or more of snow, which doesn’t happen here in good ol’ Grand Junction, CO.
4. Brr.
5. I just cut my hair…the first comment I got was “That really makes you look more your age” now I’m not sure how I was supposed to take that….but I said “thanks?” and walked away.
6. Agreed. go with peanut butter M&M’s. they are a staple in my house.
7. hahahaha
8. i. eat. constantly. but if you make me decide what I want to eat any length of time before I get to eat it, I can’t. I will waffle back and forth a gazillion times.
9. You’re right. We’ll love ya no matter what you write about I’m afraid.
March 19th, 2008 at 11:52 am
#5 - Take a chance. You might like it, you might hate it, but no can say you didn’t have the guts to go for it. Besides, it grows back.
#6 - Yes, M&M peanuts definitely always taste stale.
#9 - Again, take a chance. Too often people hold their tongues out of fear of offending someone because in todays’ society, offending someone has become the cardinal sin. As a result, we have become a pampered soft culture who over-react to everything, sue for everything, call the police for everything, stay silent for everything. Does this mean write without a care? No. Good writers can present their views without being disrespectful. I find your writing very interesting to read, so hit me. What have you got?
March 19th, 2008 at 11:55 am
You without coffee? That’s just odd.
And if you don’t like cold climates, forget what people tell you about Boston. It’s cold. Not ice castle cold, but still. I’ll take mild and rainy any day.
And soccer mom hair? Really?
March 19th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
Coffee is my god. I love the stale taste of peanut M&Ms, although they would be great if they didn’t taste that way.
Don’t cut your hair, because the time between the soccer mom haircut and back to long locks is always awkward, and you will regret it (my wife has done it numerous times in the 11 years we have been together).
March 19th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
I have a similar problem with playlists - I am suffering from self-diagnosed Musical A.D.D. I drink tea instead of coffee, but have a cup of joe from time to time! I recently chopped my hair (little more than 6 inches!)and I love it - it’s a nice change and a chance to be a new person for a few months. So I agree with Aaron…take a chance, it’s just hair and will always grow back.
March 19th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
5. I get my hair cut about once every two years. I grow it really long and then cut it off and donate it to a lady who makes wigs for the children at Sick Kids in Toronto. They like my hair because I don’t colour it or anything. Anyway, folks give me less of a hard time about drastic changes when they know that my hair is going to help kids.
6. The Peanut M&M’s in the jumbo bag from costco are the freshest version I’ve ever found.
4. Enjoy the wedding, you’re tougher than you think!
March 19th, 2008 at 5:01 pm
I recently started reading your blog…err stuff. (I hate the word “blog”)
And I just wanted to let you know that I absolutely love the way you write. You crack me up and have made me cry already.
I understand how you feel about wanting to write more of whats in your head but not wanting to hurt the ones you know won’t go anywhere. I’m the exact same way actually.
I end up writing something then before posting think about the people that are going to be reading it and immediately take things out.
So I understand that completely.
But I just wanted to say that I, personally, would love to hear more about what you have to say.
I think it would give me the courage to write without inhibitions as well. I think that might be better.
At least I hear its good to be honest even though you know your honesty may not be accepted by all.
But at least people will know where you stand.
Also, I agree with you on the coffee thing.
I can quit, damn it!
March 19th, 2008 at 5:50 pm
Is Alanis’ hair really long? I haven’t seen pictures recently but wasn’t it incredibly long, greasy and tangled during her Jagged Little Pill faze? That was bad hair right there, she must have learned her lesson… she can’t have gone back.
March 19th, 2008 at 8:50 pm
You MUST be getting old M&Ms. Stale is just crazy talk. Are you telling me we get fresher M&Ms in NYC? :)
March 20th, 2008 at 12:06 am
I haven’t really had coffee in about two weeks. That’s right Meg. I have NOT had coffee. But I love you nonetheless. Your writing is fresh and fun and makes me laugh and I’m infatuated with reading MegFowler.com
March 20th, 2008 at 6:47 am
Of all the things you’ve written here, this has to be my favorite: “Or I’m just weird. Should I just default to that explanation?”…I just love that!!
I have long known that there are things that you just don’t write about here, I think it would be a welcome stretch for you and for us as readers. And who couldn’t use a nice stretch? Especially after having been on the couch for so long.
March 20th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
I only drink a cup or two of coffee every morning. If I don’t drink it, though, I get a killer headache. Is that fair, I ask you. Whine… whine, whine.
Anyway. I don’t think the “no long hair” after a certain age think is valid. But, then, I just grew mine out so I’m biased.
March 27th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
Regarding haircuts, I just had the same question today, looking in the mirror. “I should probably go with something shorter and more stylish that suits the fact I have 2 little girls and get my hair pulled by the baby one ALL THE TIME”.
But for some reason, I just can’t. I feel like it would be giving in to something - I don’t know what. I’m sure the hairdresser guy on “What Not To Wear” would make me do it!
So right on, I’m glad somebody else is experiencing the same confusion.