ten good things about having pneumonia.
1. All that personal space you wanted on the bus/elevator/sidewalk? One cough, and people scurry like mice.
2. If your loved one is considering buying one of those expensive “Ocean Sound” simulators to help them sleep, just let them put their head on your chest. Also works for “Storm Sound” and “Cement Truck In Full Mix” simulators.
3. Who can get enough of illnesses with a silent “p”?
4. SARS jokes galore for April Fool’s.
5. It’s like the honour student version of a cold. Extra points for take home antibiotics!
6. If you swallow a goldfish in a college prank, that fish could well live happily in your lung for a year.
7. You can stand outside in the rain in bare feet with no coat or hat on, shivering, and when some old woman goes to yell at you as they walk by, you can yell: “NO, I WON’T! I ALREADY HAVE IT! SO THERE!”
8. People who come to hand you assignments at work tell you kindly that you should be home in bed.
9. You drink enough tea and juice to become the living embodiment of 1/3 of a continental breakfast.
10. You get fodder for a list that will probably make your mother wring her hands involuntarily while struggling to laugh.
