you won’t see me coming when i SMACK YOU.
Seriously, Vancouver.
I KNOW you’re not all from here.
You’re also not all from warmer places if you’re not from here.
I see you, Saskatchewanites. I see you, Ontarioans. I see you, PEOPLE OF THE YUKON!
So what the hell is WRONG with all of you?
I know it doesn’t snow around here very often, so yes, yes… most people think the SKY IS FALLING! and that everything should be canceled and that someone should install a t-bar to your local Starbucks.
But there’s just one little practical thing that you’re JUST NOT DOING when it snows.
I’m talking to you specifically, drivers.
I’m proud of you for having the courage to drive on slushy, icy roads, but I don’t really know how you plan to navigate your vehicle if you CAN’T FREAKING WELL SEE ANYTHING AT ALL NOT ONE THING.
That’s right.
CLEAN OFF YOUR WINDOWS.
I saw so many cars this morning that had EVERY window covered in snow, save for the double-arc tracks of windshield wipers.
EVERY WINDOW. AND YOUR MIRRORS.
Yet you were driving along merrily like you weren’t a ONE TON ROCKET OF ICY DEATH.
Would you go for a walk with a pillowcase on your head? Would you?
Would you walk into traffic with your noggin completely covered in 650 thread-count blindness?
And then if someone asked you BEFORE YOU STEPPED INTO TRAFFIC if that wasn’t a LITTLE DANGEROUS, would you say…
“Oh, it’ll blow off as I go.”
Right, right. Of course.
AFTER YOU KILL A BUNCH OF NUNS AND SCHOOLCHILDREN AND OLD PEOPLE AND BARISTAS, THAT IS, YOU MORON.
I’m just saying.
February 7th, 2008 at 9:51 am
I was almost hit 4 times walking to the train yesterday by people who didn’t clean off their cars and put on snow tires (I’m in Ontario). When the rest of the storm dumped last night I decided not to even bother going to work today for fear of all the awful drivers.
February 7th, 2008 at 10:44 am
Brilliant!!! My friend and I were JUST talking about this yesterday. Thanks for the laughs.
February 7th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
Thank you - so well said! It’s so frustrating to see people driving like that. Thankfully it seems like the snow is on the move away from us now. I never thought I’d say it, but I was PRAYING for rain for weeks on end. As much as I dislike the dreariness, it’s so much better than the insanity the snow brings.
February 7th, 2008 at 4:16 pm
Hey, it’s not just Vancouver; they don’t all clean their windows up here, either. Even my lovely fiance will drive around without bothering to remove the snow (I, however, completely de-snow the windows AND hood before driving).
February 7th, 2008 at 4:59 pm
I agree completely….absolute morons. It’s also dangerous for the drivers behind them because snow starts to fly off their cars and hit the ones behind them, catching unsuspecting drivers completely off-guard. Ridiculous…
February 8th, 2008 at 7:09 am
Just once…
I cleaned all of my windows, but assumed that it would blow off the roof of my car.
I got as far as the first very busy traffic light and stopped just before it changed to green.
As I stopped, all of the snow on the roof slid in one big hunk over the entire windshield. I had to get out and stop traffic to wipe six inches of snow off of my entire windshield… lesson learned.
I hope that they don’t hurt anyone while they are learning.
February 21st, 2008 at 8:05 pm
This is the funniest thing I’ve ever read.
April 10th, 2008 at 1:12 am
-laughs-
finally, a voice of reason! I recently moved to Burnaby (or, to the top of the mountain technically), from Saskatchewan, and am appalled (in the traditional sense of the word) by Vancouver’s attitude towards snow. I find it falls into two extremes: either people behave like morons without a rational thought between them and, as you say, try to drive in a self-imposed white-out, or they’re too afraid (is that even the right word? thunderstruck perhaps? confounded?) to leave their houses at all!
in Saskatchewan, where I lives eighteen years of my life, I had never had a snow day. Minus fifty and we had school. Four feet of snow and we had school. The year I begin at SFU, and I get THREE snow days! for less than a foot of snow. it’s mind-boggling.
but I digress. good post.
April 15th, 2008 at 9:15 am
That freak hail storm we had a couple of weeks ago?
WE were (sad idiots that we were ) yelling a drivers to get off the road if it scared them so much instead of doing 20!
I mean really…..come ON vancouver!!!