megfowler.com

1. Being the lead in the school play = career as actress.
2. Jameson Parker was the hottest man alive. (I was not alone!)
3. A dollar at the Handy Store near my Nonna’s house was A WEALTH OF CASH.
4. Hitting boys was a good way to make them love you.
5. I should not have to go to bed.
6. I should not have to get up.
7. I didn’t need a babysitter.
8. I would love my Snoopy doll forever.
9. Coats were for losers.
10. I was going to get married when I was 20.

1. Curlers looked better IN hair than NOT in hair.
2. My stuffed animals were alive when I wasn’t looking.
3. If my mom would put more water in the bathtub, I could totally SWIM.
4. White patent leather shoes were the utmost in style. With kneesocks.
5. I should not have to go to bed.
6. I should not have to get up.
7. Nailpolish is a God-given right.
8. My “Angel Cake” Strawberry Shortcake doll was the best smelling thing on earth.
9. My brother should do whatever I say.
10. I was going to get married when I was 15.

A comment on the StumbleUpon page reviewing my “Look at my boobs! I am very smart!” post, which was on feminine oversexualization:

(with a thumbs down)

“From the page: “look at my boobs! I am very smart!” i couldn’t see any pictures.”

Which is a gleeful reminder to me of all the “boob” traffic that heads here to deep disappointment each day.

MegFowler.com: Building you up to knock you down. :)

Well, at least SOMETHING to tie together a toilet paper ad and early Kevin Bacon films, besides possibly the extent of fluff involved and the close relationship with… well… crap.

But the ACTUAL theme for the rest of the week here at the ‘Com is Things We Were Obsessed With As Kids.

In my case, two of those things were fluffy television kittens and Kenny Loggins kickin’ off his Sunday shoes.

For you, it could have been Transformers or an EZ Bake Oven or a BB Gun or Lego or the stone you used to write on the cave walls. Especially since the age range of people coming here stretches from 15 to 83! And my dad, somewhere in the middle.

So…

1. What stands out in your memory as the favourite toy of your childhood/early teen years?

2. What song do you remember listening to repeatedly as a kid?

3. What item of clothing sticks out for you as something you a) wore too often and b) didn’t wash enough because it was so cool and you had to put it on every day?

I’m obsessed with this song. I have been for years. And I don’t know why, except to say that… well, sometimes you just need to cut loose, right? Footloose!

But think of all the famous people that were in this movie… John Lithgow, Dianne Wiest, Kevin Bacon, Sarah Jessica Parker, Lori Singer…

Oh, wait. Never heard of Lori Singer? That’s okay. She was huge between ‘82 and ‘85. There’s a lot to forget in that period, including ALL THE SHOES IN THIS VIDEO.

The funny thing to me is that she is 50 years old now, and in my head, we’re the same age. Despite the fact that I was 10 when this came out, and she was 26.

And when the heck did Kevin Bacon get to be 50?

I was totally obsessed with these cats as a kid. Not in French, mind you, but hey… it feels more “cultured” to watch fluffy kittens play with toilet tissue if you do it bilingually.

Update: Voting has closed! Thanks for all your support and for putting up with my needy, clingy honour-student award poking.

I’m not sure when category results will be in, since they’ve oddly decided to stretch out the award giving over a week (ostensibly to give each category 15 extra minutes of fame, but I think mostly just to try and make everyone with OCD rock quietly in their chairs.)

Now back to your regularly scheduled blog!

Wanna vote for me at the Canadian Blog Awards? You’ve only got 3 more hours!

Okay! Go here:

Best Personal Blog

Best Blog Post

And want to vote for Angella, whom I love? Okay! Go here:

Best Blog Citizen (and she is!)

Best Blog Post Series

Oh yeah! And vote for Rebecca for Best Local Blog, too.

So I woke up to a foot of snow this morning.

Well, in all honesty, I can’t really gauge what a foot of snow looks like, and I didn’t have a ruler, so I just ASSUMED it was a foot of snow because it ate my boot! Up past my ankle! Woo!

It was even kind of dry and fluffy, which was AWESOME. That’s not the kind of snow we get here at all. I always compare Vancouver snow days to living in a 7-Up Slurpee.

And true to form, that’s what it looks like outside now. Two hours and two degrees make ALLLL the difference.

(Unless the degrees are in Art History and Comparative Literature.)

Blech.

Also? My boots are SOAKING WET.

Also? PEOPLE KEEP POKING AT MY PUFFY COAT.

Also?

Wait, I don’t have another also. I’ll think of one, though.

1. What made you decide to be with the person you’re with?

2. What made you decide to do the work you do?

3. What type of discussion brings out the most passion in you?

4. If you could change three things about your life instantly by snapping your fingers, what would you wish for before the big snap?

5. What two qualities do you possess that you would never, ever change?

6. When you come across something you want to change in your life, what’s the first step?

7. At what moment in your day are you most at peace?

Most of the jobs I’ve done since I was old enough to work involved four things:

1. Dealing with people.
2. Thinking on my feet.
3. Leading by example instead of by virtue of position.
4. Responding to various crises with a sense of humour and patience.

And I did pretty well with all of them. It feels strange to be anything other than self-deprecating, but even I know I made things happen.

Not that I never made mistakes. Wow, did I make some mistakes. I’m just as good at making mistakes as I am any of those things. Maybe better.

Fortunately, I always worked with some awesome people that balanced out my idiocy when I dropped the ball in small or spectacular ways.

And I felt good about what I was doing, even when my hours were long or the challenges were stupidly large. I could do it. I did do it.

When I look back on my life and on those roles now, I find myself wondering where the hell that girl went.

You know, the girl who believed that pretty much anything was possible with effort and hope?

The girl who could stand up to anyone without giving in to her temper, because she knew what she believed?

The girl who knew her value and what she brought to the table?

The girl who listened well, who noticed, who loved, who showed compassion?

I don’t let her speak up much anymore.

I mostly just tell her how hard things have become, and that her chance will come again when all of this passes.

Somewhere along the way, I let people who hurt me be the largest voices in my life, and let the good voices slip into background noise, including my own.

Somewhere along the way, I decided that what I wasn’t and what I couldn’t do defined me more than the gifts I already had.

Somewhere along the way, I began to believe things couldn’t change.

Somewhere along the way, I forgot that lying down is a terrible first step in moving forward.

Somewhere along the way, I told myself that the girl who had those four skills — and more! — didn’t really have them anymore.

But we both know that’s bullshit, she and I.

I’ve just allowed procrastination and fear and history and paranoia and anger to dump on me like a heavy snow, while I sit in the drift, waiting to freeze.

I want to dig out.

I want to warm up.

I want to trust myself again.

I want to know in my own heart that health problems, that weight problems, that bad relationships, that work screw-ups, that financial mistakes, that handling things badly, that infertility, that arguments, that everything I’ve said that I wish I’d never said…

… well, that none of those things are the End of Meg.

I can’t go to bed another night wondering what new portion of my life is going to break in the morning, or how I’ll manage to mess things up again.

I want to go to bed knowing that whatever comes, I’ve got it. I can do it. I’m on it.

Even if I wake up feeling sick.

Even if I’m bumping my head against a stack of mistakes a mile wide.

Even if people don’t have the faith in me right now to make things happen.

Even if I can’t change some things, I want to believe I will change everything I can.

I want to stop asking myself how the hell to stop shutting myself down, and just STOP.

Is it as easy as just deciding to?

I know it can’t possibly be, but then again… maybe it is.