8 thoughts on “a clean, well-lighted place.”

1. I can definitely relate to this. Blogging about my issues is sometimes so much easier than talking to someone about them. I can just spew — and process — without worrying that the other person will feel dumped on, or uncomfortable, or whatever. And I can always decide not to post after I’ve written; it’s not possible to take back something after it’s been said. (Now that I think of it, this is how my husband “blogs”: He writes it all down, and instead of publishing, he just files it away — or deletes it. For him it’s the writing of the thing that matters, not the sharing.)

2. I had been a bit wary of sharing my feelings on my blog, but the more I do it, the better I feel. Your blog is awesome Meg, and you are awesome.

3. I just had a “I didn’t know” situation today with a dear friend at work, she’s looked so tired lately. So, today I stopped by her office and said “You look tired, are you okay?” and her answer was “Yeah, I’m tired. My husband left me.” Apparently he had been talking about it for over a month and came home this weekend (he works in another town and had been coming home most weekends) to see if things could be worked out, decided not to try and told her he was filing for divorce. She hadn’t said anything to me or anyone else at work, hoping he’d get over what was bothering him and they could work it out. So, we cried together and talked, since I could empathize (been there, done that and bought the t-shirt 20 years ago). Gosh, I hurt for her.

   I’m glad you have this outlet for your feelings and are feeling more comfortable in sharing them. Not good to keep things bottled up, you know.

4. For what it is worth, Meg, the reason I kept coming back this year is to see how you were doing with the whole infertility thing. I figured no news was not likely to be good news, and was concerned a little. I am really relieved to hear you are processing it, and both impressed and honoured that you are sharing with us.
   It’s tough stuff. And great writing.

5. i think it is very brave, actually. the written word is so permanent, no matter how often you hit that ‘delete’ button and take a post down. i started my little blog and then after finding out that my family was reading it, got spooked that they would learn too much about me so i didn’t write anything at all personal. i find it is just too uncomfortable to have someone i know in real life come up to me and say, “so, i saw your blog….” and then be forced to answer questions i never wanted to discuss with them in the first place.

6. Do you know about postsecret.com? That could help you be a starting point to discussions with others…

7. Hi Richgold! I’ve looked at that site quite a few times, but I’m not sure how I feel about it. :) I think the mix of silly confessions and scary stuff people were working through appealed to me on some level, and on another level, just weirded me out. :)

8. I was going to write something inspirational but it would just come off sounding corny. Best advice I have is to inject that bit of information about yourself when it fits appropriately in the conversation. But don’t treat it as an weight around your neck.

   I believe how you internalize this, whether you see it as a fault or just a fact, makes a big difference on how you come across in conversation. In other words, don’t prepare folks by saying something to point it out, just say, for example, “yeah, we are considering adopting,” when it fits. That gives people an out to just say yeah whatever or really ask why.

   Hope that helps. Best to you.
   Todd