if i were a bird, i’d be hatching my eggs on bare branches.
I really, really like getting rid of stuff.
I like giving it away or recycling it or throwing it out or even just tossing it into the air and closing my eyes and hoping God claims it from the ether.
I like it when I can empty a drawer or closet or cupboard completely.
I like it when everything that’s left is in great condition, and there’s nothing old or broken or sketchy lying around to take away from the magic of the functional, the new, and the loved.
I am whatever the opposite of a packrat is. Maybe the rat who leaves the sinking ship full of old theater programs and sweaters with holes under the arms and Christmas lights that don’t work and dated issues of the Utne Reader?
Maybe it’s the fact that I’m OCD, or maybe I’ve moved too many times, or maybe I’m just weird.
But once I’ve gathered a solid store of clutter — which may not look like clutter to anyone else, but goodbye! — I hit it like Hurricane Glad Bag and soon there’s nothing but a misfiled cheque stub and 3/4 of a tube of lip gloss that I only wear when I have a tan.
I do this with my email and computer files, too. Even .jpgs and mp3s, once I’ve had enough of looking at a picture or listening to a song.
This is both weird and unnecessary, because I still have 80 GB of space on my hard drive and 21 GB of space on my iPod and 2 GB of space in my Gmail.
It’s just that there’s nothing more satisfying to me than clearing the decks. It’s blissful. It’s euphoric.
And sometimes it’s just problematic.
Why? Because I can’t afford to replace all the things I get rid of. Once I was left with two pairs of pants in the whole wide world because I decided to throw out everything that had stains or rough hems or made me look like a dreidel.
Or there was the time I gave away all my furniture to my friends, simply because my room felt too small.
Or the time I accidentally shredded a cheque in my zeal to avoid identity theft.
Stellar, I know.
I’m going to have to stop doing this when I have children. I don’t want to end up throwing out their report cards or Kiwanis Festival Awards or favourite t-shirts or comic cooks because I have a sudden fit of spatial clarity.
Which is a great reason to take my addiction in hand now. And tonight will be my first test.
My mom is bringing by five boxes of “stuff” — kitchen stuff, old writing of mine, old stuffed animals, heaven only knows what else — for me to sort through and keep.
They’re in the midst of a fairly dramatic move to a new place altogether (stress! stress!), and so they’re having to wade through all their stuff from spending several years in one community, and all my grandfather’s stuff from, well… being old.
Fortunately, they’ve moved a lot, too, and exfoliated their belongings many times over the years. And my grandfather was not unlike me in his need to get rid of a whole bunch of stuff every now and then. This means that most of what I am looking through today will be valuable in some way.
Oy.
So.
Don’t. Buy. Garbage. Bags.
Learn to cherish.
Try storing things correctly so they don’t feel like clutter.
Or, you know, have your mom duct-tape you to a wall while she goes through the boxes.
November 6th, 2007 at 1:05 pm
Oh, I don’t know, Meg. I’m not sure it’s such a bad thing–perhaps tempered. But having married into a packrat family, and coming from one far more like yours… At the end of the day, you can’t take it with you anyway.
I know “things” are comforting for some people, and sometimes the memories are too pain to make sorting even possible…
But even the packrats seem calmer when the counter is clean and they know exactly where to find that doo-dad in the junk drawer. (Junk drawer being, mercifully, a TOTALLY foreign Term to me until this marriage.)
Especially things that can be useful to others. Why have seven curling irons when you only use one? But now I digress…
Good luck with your project! It’s always little bits horrifying, big bits amusing, and gigantic bits of crazy to look back on your life through the view of what got into an old cardboard box.
November 6th, 2007 at 1:20 pm
21GB left on your iPod? What size do you have? Mine’s 30GB and I’m constantly reorganizing to make space for new music! For instance, Christmas is coming, so I temporarily said good-bye to Metal, Latin, Reggae and Pearl Jam… I need the really big iPod.
November 6th, 2007 at 1:34 pm
I am the packrat and I greatly appreciate my wife’s natural ability to declutter my crap except when I really need to find something - like monthly bills that need to be paid - then it’s just plain annoying. Just heard about this little “greenify” link that actually makes sense. Instead of tossing it, recycle it by giving it away - www.freecycle.org.
November 6th, 2007 at 1:47 pm
I will pay you $200 to come and Clean Sweep my house.
I can’t do it. I CAN’T.
I’m a total packrat. Besides, you never know when you might need that phone number with no name attached written on a napkin that was stuck in with some papers for heaven-knows-how-many-years.
I MIGHT NEED IT. You don’t know.
:)
November 6th, 2007 at 2:11 pm
I’m a lot like you. I like things to be where they are, basically all the time. I think it started when I was 7. My parents were out of the country and I convinced my Aunt to let me take everything out of my room and throw out the stuff I didn’t need.
Occasionally I regret it. Like when the girls get together to do a clothes swap and I have nothing to get rid of because I do that so often. Or when I realize that something I could have used is gone.
Overall, I’m pleased with my ability to de-clutter. It just kills me when people live in piles of things.
November 6th, 2007 at 2:34 pm
And when you have children, don’t throw out the baby with the bath water. Or so I’ve heard….
November 6th, 2007 at 3:01 pm
Thank you for having a look at my site, I wish Gary Bettman would return franchises to your land, and I wish your land had enough TV/media revenue capitalization to support that plan.
JF
November 6th, 2007 at 6:35 pm
Aaah, Meg, you often employ a turn of phrase that leaves me chuckling, and there’s a few in here.
Must go look up dreidel - that’s a completely new one on me, and I thought I was reasonably well-versed in the English language…
Take care.
November 7th, 2007 at 6:52 am
I confess I’m a pack rat. My sister is very much like you. When I was 15 I had a year-long adventure and had to leave with great haste, leaving MY belongings for my sister to pack up. I still regret it. She threw out my report cards and year books up to that point. Basically, I came back to nothing.
Since living with messy people, I’ve learned to self-contain my messes and purge with some regularity. I try and not touch the children’s “treasures” too often, except maybe the twice yearly cull of the stuffed animal herd.
Also, if you find you’re stuck for getting rid of suitable things - can you truck it to your local Chez Vinny’s? (St. V de P?) or as Caleb said - try Freecycle. When we were stuck for cash and space, we gave away a lot of stuff to others through this organization and received a lot of stuff from others (including a piano - just had to pay for moving charges, a sofa, cotton diapers, clothes, books, a clock radio, cast iron frying pan, toys … anything that was on our wish list at the time).
November 7th, 2007 at 7:53 am
Would you care to spend a few warm days in the south, clearing out my junque? Because parting with stuff nearly causes me physical pain. I’m quite certain I’ll need everything some day.
I make good chili. Husband makes awesome martinis. The kid will be cute and quiet. We promise not to hover.