fifteen things that are true of me.
1. I never, ever finish a pint of ice cream. I leave it in the freezer until it frosts over like the hinterlands, and toss it out half-full.
2. I don’t cough like a normal person. It’s more of a seal bark. I’ve had the same cough since I was a baby, and it used to scare the life out of people when baby-birdesque wee Meg would let out her horrible, sharp hacks.
3. I have a lazy eye that is only evident when I’m dead tired or incredibly nervous. This is a potentially nightmarish combo if I don’t sleep the night before a big meeting or a date. (Hahaha. I just said “date” like that’s an everyday occurrence, when in reality… hello, Halley’s Comet.)
4. I’ve never made risotto, yet I have tons of recipes for risotto. I even give out my risotto recipes. Apparently, I am a risotto fraud. Or I suffer from risotto anxiety. I’m pretty sure I’m insane.
5. I have to set time limits on eyebrow tweezing, or I become obsessive.
6. I once performed “I Will Survive” in a shark costume. Then I wanted to wear the costume all the time. Even while sitting at a desk reading email, or having a cup of coffee. For some reason, the shark costume made me feel completely at ease in the world. I don’t know what that means.
7. I spell the following words wrong the first time every damn time: tomorrow; irrelevant; irresistible; commitment; homemade; judgment; and conscious.
8. The less preparation I do for a speech or toast, the better. If I bring notes, I’ll spend the entire time trying to remember my point. No notes? Smooth as silk.
9. I don’t like doing word games, like crosswords or fill-ins. I do, however, love it when other people do crosswords and ask me for my guesses.
10. I have zero desire to go back to high school. None. Nada. But my first two years of university were GOLD. I’d do them again in a heartbeat.
11. I literally want to run up to men in the street and groom them. Not like a monkey or anything, but just CUT YOUR HAIR or WASH YOUR FACE or TRIM YOUR NOSE AND EAR FOLIAGE or YOUR PANTS ARE BEYOND VIOLATING or I JUST SNAGGED YOUR EYEBROW ON MY SHIRT. I honestly believe most men are really attractive in some way. I have a broad concept of masculine beauty (ha! pun!) But I think a ton of them sell it out by ignoring five minute personal chores.
12. I never use coupons.
13. Whenever I put on running shoes, I feel like bouncing up and down. Boing. Boing. It’s an irresistible urge.
14. I have thousands of lists yet unwritten.
Update:
15. I like to publish lists one item short. See comments below!
October 24th, 2007 at 10:18 am
i used to do lists ALL THE TIME but i don’t so much anymore because my bullets don’t work with my template and i am too lazy to ask so and so to pretty please fix it for me lists are my favourite. i feel lost without them and i think maybe that is why im not blogging so much? or that is ONE of the reasons, i miss my lists. anyways..i guess you can tell through stats i check to see if you linked me back every time i come here, is that wrong??? hehe
October 24th, 2007 at 10:24 am
i misread “I never use coupons.”
made me nervous
October 24th, 2007 at 10:25 am
There are only fourteen things in your list. Is fifteen a secret?
October 24th, 2007 at 10:36 am
I can’t believe I did that. Good catch. :-)
October 24th, 2007 at 1:08 pm
That grooming thing - I want to do that too! I want to tell old balding hippies to cut their damn ponytails off! I want to tell Brian Engblom that the messy mullet look is way, way out and fix that flyaway action now! I want stubble boys to either shave a grow a real beard! And most of all I want to holler at teenagers to PULL UP YOUR DAMN PANTS!
October 24th, 2007 at 1:56 pm
My own confession - my underwear always matches my clothes in some way. I feel weird when it doesn’t. Did I reveal too much?
October 24th, 2007 at 2:00 pm
I will be having dinner with several men performing in shark costumes this evening in our nation’s capital. Well, my nation’s capital. My mind will be blank while I read theirs as they stare at me: “CUT YOUR HAIR or WASH YOUR FACE or TRIM YOUR NOSE AND EAR FOLIAGE or YOUR PANTS ARE BEYOND VIOLATING or I JUST SNAGGED YOUR EYEBROW ON MY SHIRT. I honestly believe most men are really attractive in some way. I have a broad concept of…”
October 24th, 2007 at 5:23 pm
My hair tends to be longish for a guy my age but these days not stupid, just casual. I do the nose, ear and eyebrow thing. But the perpetual jeans would probably drive you crazy, and Meg? My sock drawer? OVERWHELMINGLY WHITE.
October 24th, 2007 at 5:26 pm
I love jeans, so that’s not a big deal unless they’re ugly. But white socks? So uncreative unless you wear them with sneakers. And if all you wear is sneakers? Sigh.
October 24th, 2007 at 5:57 pm
I heart you, Meg. You’re my favorite blogger.
I’d love to hear the shark costume story. How old were you?
October 24th, 2007 at 6:05 pm
when i see white sport socks with black dress shoes it reminds me of being on the bus with teenage boys in high school. even then i knew that was just wrong. maybe someone should tell them…..meg?
October 24th, 2007 at 10:43 pm
Just sneakers…duh. I’m insulted I have to clarify. But that’s it, unless I’m going to a serious meeting, interview, party, etc., and then I have to dig for dark.
October 25th, 2007 at 7:12 am
Yeah, I don’t wear runners/sneakers anymore unless I’m going to the gym. Ditto with sweat pants. I’m by no means a fashion expert unfortunately though, and have been known to do stupid things such as show up at work with my shirt on backwards.
My first two years of university were awesome too, what I remember of them.
October 25th, 2007 at 3:04 pm
I usually spell “have” as “ahve” the first time ardoun (around)… see? GRRRRR
October 25th, 2007 at 7:17 pm
RE:
1. A pint of ice cream is a single-serving container.
4 & 7. I would like to make homemade risotto for you tomorrow. (Can I use one of your recipes?) In a fit of poor judgment, you will find this to be an irresistible offer and make a commitment to meet. You are, after all, conscious of all my shortcomings and temporarily determine them to be irrelevant.
6. Fins to the left, fins to the right, and you’re the only bait in town.
9. What’s a three-letter word for “single, klutzy, emphatic, email-addicted, hand-talker”?
10. I go back to high school every day. But only because I’m paid to be there…. I loved being in college, er — at university.
11. Five minutes for grooming? I’d have to get up even earlier than I do now! I’ll just stay unattractive, thanks. (But you can still run up to me in the street if you want.)