bringing back the trash.
This was honestly one of the funniest posts that has ever appeared on my blog, and certainly not because of the writing… no, no.
It was all about the comments. Seriously. Read them. Go do it now.
I couldn’t believe how many absolutely magical trashy confessions you guys came up with.
And because it’s a rainy Wednesday, and because I have a headache, and because I feel like it, I figured we should dip into the well of shame once again and give class a pass!
Throw open those closets! Pull out those skeletons!
Show me the bag of ranch-flavoured Cornuts in your desk drawer! Reveal the playlist with NKOTB on your iPod! Tell me what you wear in the privacy of your own home when no one but Judge Alex can look out at you from the TV!
Here are mine:
MEG’S 2007 TRASHY CONFESSIONS:
1. I have songs by all the following artists on my iPod (in one single playlist, in fact): K7, Notorious B.I.G, Ginuwine, Jordan Knight, Def Leppard, Guns N Roses, KISS, and AC/DC. I know they don’t go together. That’s why I love that playlist. And hide my iPod so no one can see the screen when I’m listening to it on the bus.
2. I actually considered getting “skinny” (and that’s a misnomer, considering my ass) jeans to wear with my future Uggs. Yeah. Did you hear that? That was the sound of the universe shattering into a thousand pieces. And all to avoid bunchy ankles with the updated version of moonboots. Or mukluks. Or wearing an entire sheep on your foot.
3. I have a big crush on Armando Montelongo on Flip This House. He’s a jerk a good portion of the time. He plays practical jokes on people. He treats his project managers like crap. Yet? I’d let him flip my house anyday.
4. I type my first name into Google.ca and Google.com to see where I am in the results: #5 for Meg on Google.ca today, and #13 on Google.com. Bastards.
5. I have more kinds of lip gloss than I have all of the following in combination: shoes, pants, and sweaters. Clearly I think it’s going to keep me warm.
6. I once killed a man, just to watch him die. JUST KIDDING.
7. I really love how my voice sounds when I have laryngitis. So I’ll sing the national anthem really loudly when I feel it going, just to help the process along.
8. My keychain looks like a giant engagement ring. No, I didn’t buy it (Matt and Catherine!) But I use it.
9. I like the garlic fries at Safeco Field, the scary artificial nachos at GM Place, and the cotton candy at Nat Bailey Stadium.
10. I embrace the power of cleavage.
11. I own a giant white beanbag chair. It got sent to my office. I can’t figure out how to get it home. More on that later.
Okay… so tell me.
What’s trashy about YOU?
October 10th, 2007 at 9:30 am
Pink and red Starburst, two at a time.
October 10th, 2007 at 10:23 am
1) I once cried for two days when i was 10 because my parents wouldn’t let me go to the Corey Hart concert. They just did not understand how much i loved him. I would never surrender.
2)I owned a sweatshirt with Fred and Barney on it dress liked Crocket and Tubbbs and it said Bedrock vice — it was soooo cool
3) As a child i looked like Ben Seaver (from Growing Pains)– i am a girl.
4) I break out the microphone to play along with the Siging Bee and Don’t Forget the Lyrics
5) I use to put wads of paper in the roof of my mouth to make it sound like i had a retainer — for some reason that seemed cool.
6) I tape myself singing — a lot
October 10th, 2007 at 10:48 am
I walk the dog in my pj’s. Also, I saw MC Hammer in concert. I can’t believe I just admitted to that. Yeesh.
October 10th, 2007 at 10:56 am
WoW- these are all such great confessions. I’m not ever sure I have more to add-
1. I sing in the elevator. I actually love that moment when the doors open and someone is laughing because I’ve been singing my heart out. It’s led to more than one date too!
2. I cannot go a single day without running into at least two doors. Me and doors, we just don’t get along.
3. I burp about 20-40 times a day. Yes, I know I burp, but I don’t have time to cover my mouth all the bloody time. I have burped up to 120 times in a day, honestly, it’s just ridiculous!
4. I sing country music songs about christianity or jesus because I think they are pretty. I pretend to be offended because I’m a good jew, but really, the christians are just better religious song writers.
5. I would eat fried mushrooms, onions and zucchinni everyday if I didn’t think I would blow-up like a balloon. But yumm…especially with ranch dressing…and I can’t even eat today.
6. I watch all the house flipping shoes on TV. I also watch Dog the Bounty Hunter.
7. I love morning talk radio. Most of the time those people are so funny they make the morning bareable.
8. I would love to go through all of my days totally naked. It’s not that I love my body that much, it’s just that I hate clothes that much.
9. I hate the sound of my voice on a tape. it’s so nasally. I make friends record my voicemail messages for me.
10. I hate brushing my hair. I never think it’s pretty enough. Why even bother.
October 10th, 2007 at 11:06 am
Armando is a racist pig and his wife is a skankbag. Good show, though. ;)
October 10th, 2007 at 11:09 am
i love ‘the hills’ & in high school when no one was looking i read judith krantz ‘novels’. I also wanted to marry ricky schroder. ooh & when i go to the big movie theatres & my friend always wants the fake cheese nachos & I pretend i don’t like them & then i eat half.
October 10th, 2007 at 11:17 am
I’ve never seen him do anything “racist”… and she’s a little done up, but skankbag? Buzz, Buzz, Buzz.
I also have a crush on Jer and Paul in New Haven…
October 10th, 2007 at 11:17 am
1.I had posters of Don Johnson on my bedroom wall when I was in grade 5! I was in love with my class-mate Ryan Green and was convinced that he looked like Don Johnson.
2. Because I was in love with Ryan Green, I wore green eyeshadow on my lids, right up to my brows. Not kidding. I wonder if he noticed…
3. In grade 8, I had a pen pal in Japan. I sent her a tape of Guns N Roses with an Axle Rose collage I made for her (with hearts and stuff). She sent back a tape of the orchestra she played in, they recorded Brahms. She sent me a photo of her new bassoon. I felt like a heel.
4. I had such poor and aggressive driving habits as a teenager, one guy who had been in front of me got out of his car to give me a talking to about my tailgating. I swore really loud and swerved around him GOING THE WRONG WAY THROUGH THE INTERSECTION. Not proud of that one.
5. Every time my wife Penny and I go to a wedding, I always whisper “Mawaige” (just like the guy from The Princess Bride) in her hear as the marriage commissioner starts the ceremony. She always cracks up.
6. I used to own every Metallica tape and had front row tickets to the 1992 Black Album concert.
7. I really like Fireball Whiskey. Have you tried it? It’s dangerous. I even had a sip last night just because it was there.
8. In the first few years I was the chick-singer of the disco band Wunderbread, I would wear TWO bras to get the best cleavage possible and the least amount of bounce. Rather extreme back pain ensued.
9. Once while on vacation in the Shuswap Lakes, I worked out a whole routine and lip-sync to the song The Heat Is On by Glenn Frey which included a fancy, jerky head movement for the sax shots. I couldn’t turn my head for the rest of the trip. It was 1985, I was 10.
10. The first instrument I learned to play when I was 10 was the clarinet. I picked it because it looked just like Kenny G’s soprano sax!
Apparently I was kind of a nerd in 1985! Weren’t we all?! WHAM! rules!
October 10th, 2007 at 11:29 am
Ok, so I totally stole this idea for a post on my own blog because it was fabulous! Check it out www.hollywouldifshecould.blogspot.com.
I almost spit out my coffee, your readers are so hysterical!
October 10th, 2007 at 11:42 am
I have another: I actually watch professional wrestling - I mean, rasslin’. I should send that one to Postsecret. And even worse? I have actually attended WWE shows.
October 10th, 2007 at 11:48 am
I own not one, but two, O-Town CDs. I don’t think it gets much worse than that.
October 10th, 2007 at 1:12 pm
This is awesome! I love it! My list is up.
October 10th, 2007 at 1:37 pm
My readers ARE hysterical… much more funny than me on my best days.
Mary, REALLY? I confess, I saw a Smackdown in a theatre with a guy I was interested in. But I was the only smackdown in the end. Ha!
October 10th, 2007 at 2:09 pm
1. I read Daniel Steels (wrapped in a paper bag) when I was in graduate school (Library Science!)
2. I love popcorn and Red Hot candies at the same time.
3. I still like disco music.
4. I prefer garter belt and stockings to panty hose.
5. I’m musically illiterate (see #3).
6. I like onions AND garlic (love those shawarmas!)
7. I wanted to change my last name to Love (not as in Courtney - but in as the guy I had a crush on when I was 18).
8. After four kids I know have to wear wide width shoes! WAH!
9. When I hang with my single friends I like to bash those with kids! (The irony is … see #9.)
10. I like the personal fixer upper shows (”How to look good naked”, “Maxed Out”, “Buy Me”, “Flip that house”).
October 10th, 2007 at 2:29 pm
I bought a bag of Lindt truffles yesterday because I needed chocolate and I thought if I bought something high quality I wouldn’t scarf them down so quickly. I had visions of making this bag of chocolates last a week or more by sheer power of restraint. I would eat one per day. Two at the most. I have now had them for twenty-four hours and have eaten NINE. There are two left. I don’t think they’re going to survive the evening.
October 10th, 2007 at 3:15 pm
I buy expensive organic produce and forget to eat it until it has gone bad. :(
October 10th, 2007 at 4:15 pm
1. I got quite good at playing “More Than Words” by Extreme on the acoustic guitar, solely to impress girls. It didn’t seem to work.
2. I have an unhealthy affection for musicals and a capella covers of pop hits.
3. For reasons I can’t begin to fathom, I performed a lip synch to “The Search is Over” by Survivor in Grade 6. Even my own mother tried to convince me it was a bad idea.
October 10th, 2007 at 4:58 pm
1. Five words: Pink Is The New Blog
(www.trent.blogspot.com)
Every Day. Even weekends.
2. Whipped cream cheese frosting from the can. Friday night. No one in the house. Disposed of evidence.
October 10th, 2007 at 5:50 pm
Ok, so I responded on the original post, but I’ll add three more:
1.- I can’t sing to save my life. Except “Love Shack” by the B-52’s. Everybody loves my karaoke rendition. Go figure.
2.- I can eat two red hot burritos from Safeway (Select, I think is the brand) and a glass of Coke Zero for breakfast. For real. And I love the flavor.
3.- I am obsessed with Ryan Reynolds. So much that one of his pictures is the background in my laptop. Except Reichen Lehmkuhl is the background on my desktop. Two totally different types.
October 10th, 2007 at 5:54 pm
6. Was it in Reno?
October 10th, 2007 at 6:07 pm
I had a gigantic perm in junior high.
I’m completely in love with Simon Cowell.
I ate McDonald’s twice this week.
I sometimes buy panties at BigLots.
Oh, God. I’m so horrified by myself right now.
October 10th, 2007 at 9:05 pm
1. Many moons ago, some friends & I impersonated NKOTB. Accidentally. We had a room at the Four Seasons the same night they were staying. Friend looked out our window to see the view….wearing a white hoodie. Masses of young females screamed below.
Throw in a few changes of baseball hats etc, and we had HOURS of entertainment.
2. I have serious addictions to junkfood, (especially candy), beauty products, cds/dvds, anything I really should have grown out of by now.
3. I’m nearing XX and still have huge crushes on guitarists. I just recently printed off a picture of Phil Collen (not Phil Collins)… and wished I still had a locker to hang it in.
4. related to #3… I have “Animal” on the ipod SEVERAL times because I would just end up putting it on repeat for, you know, a couple of hours.
5. I watch Dog too. And I bought his book.
6. Definitely watched WWF when I was younger. Bought it hook, line & sinker. Went to a Wrestlemania too.
7. I once bought a black satin jacket that also had leopard print AND black fringe. I don’t even think I meant it to be part of a costume. Sometimes I think I have bought/done things for a secret fascinating life…that I don’t really have!
8. I own more footwear than one person could ever wear in a lifetime.
October 11th, 2007 at 7:01 am
A former roommate and I once watched four Lifetime movies in a row. Eight hours of angst!
This same girl and our two other roommates and I used to watch the Golden Girls twice a day.
We were stealing cable at the time.
October 11th, 2007 at 9:57 am
1. I love JEM, I sing her song all the time. She is truly outrageous.
2. When I’m home alone I’ll eat a whole box of kraft dinner right out of the pot I cooked it in. I get so full I could puke.
3. I love pink (the colour), more than life itself. I hate myself for it.
4. I call people HORRIFIC names when I’m driving in traffic.
5. I love Rob Lowe, I’ve loved him forever, I hide it from my friends.
6. I have a “journal” addiction that is completely out of control, I buy new ones all of the time. They sit empty on a secret shelf. No one knows that I don’t journal…I lie to people and tell them that I’m a major journaller.
7. I stay in close contact with a friend who I don’t like and who I don’t respect. She thinks I adore her. I suck.
8. I long to be a talk show host. I talk to “guests” when I’m driving home from work.
9. I’m nervous about telling jokes because I fear that my audience won’t laugh. I tell jokes to myself when I’m driving home from work and I laugh hysterically.
10. I dressed as a prostitute for Halloween once.
October 11th, 2007 at 11:08 am
1) I was born and raised in Surrey. When I was little I thought Surrey rocked. I couldn’t imagine living anywhere else. Thank god that passed.
2) I was a bit young for the hair metal/ rocker generation of fashion, but idolized the older kids with their big hair, fringy white leather jackets and cigarettes.
3) In my teenage years, I was always the first one to take my shirt off at parties.
4) When I was a kid, I named all my dolls Roxanne.
5) I once took a cash advance on my Visa to buy weed.
October 11th, 2007 at 12:13 pm
Trashy? Well, I’m from Chilliwack. I think I can stop there.
I just googled “Duane”, I’m #5 apparently.
October 11th, 2007 at 12:35 pm
Duane, I lived in the ‘Wack for eight years and then left immediately upon graduating. And I mean IMMEDIATELY.
It’s okay. We’ve grown since then.
October 11th, 2007 at 1:58 pm
Names? In university we used to give nicknames to the people you saw everyday for 4 years but never actually met or knew. Loads of them. Many (not all!) of these names were NOT pleasant or flattering or printable for that matter.
Horoscopes/horriblescopes, call them what you want, I read mine - more than one - everyday. And I have been to a psychic, & think she’s pretty good.
October 11th, 2007 at 3:18 pm
1. i’d be lying if i told you that i don’t dance when “whoomp! there it is” plays on my ipod.
2. i also have “achy breaky heart” on there
3. when any songs on my “playlist of shame” come on when friends are in my car, i lie and say that my husband loaded them on there.
4. i just got a car with XM radio and i can’t help but listen to the broadway showtunes channel….but i hate musicals or any program in which the characters communicate by singtalking.
5. i haven’t cleaned my bathrooms or vacuumed in 7 weeks! i blame life with a newborn, but really it’s inexcusable.
October 11th, 2007 at 5:49 pm
I talk to myself. And answer. All the time.
October 12th, 2007 at 11:01 am
1. I used to go to a local bar on Thursday nights for the sole purpose of learning new line dances for Gay cowboys. And transvestites. It was awesome.
2. I have Hanson on my iPod. And the Backstreet Boys.
3. I go to sleep with my make-up on and without brushing my teeth.
4. Sometimes my dog drinks out of my water cup. Sometimes I let her.
5. I like to stand in the deodorant aisle and sniff all the men’s deodorants. I love how the smell. People think I’m crazy. They’re right.
6. When I was little, I would practice kissing by making out with a pillar in our front room.
7. I used to wear bows that were made up of non-inflated balloons and multi-colored shoelaces. I blame my mom.
8. I get great pleasure from popping a zit.
9. I have a thing for 19 year olds.
10. I put sour cream & onion chips on my peanut butter sandwiches. Yum.
October 12th, 2007 at 1:27 pm
I have so many things I could add to this list…it’s frightening, really.
1. I’m addicted to Beverley Hills 90210 re-runs…can’t get enough of them, even though they are absolutely horrific.
2. Sometimes, I’ll eat the rest of the chocolate cake/ chips (you name it) and then tell my husband that I threw them out….terrible.
3. My Ipod is loaded with ’80s hairbands - Bon Jovi, Warrant, Extreme…so sad.
4. All of my friends are reading deep, meaningful literature…I, however, prefer ‘chick lit’. When I pick out a book, I judge by how colorful & fun the cover is. When asked what I’m reading, I name whatever Oprah currently has on her book list.
5. I sing loudly in the car…all the time, without shame.
This is just a sampling…I could come up with so many more…