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I love a good smoothie.

And I really love to have a good smoothie in the morning.

That’s why I poured myself a big ol’ glass of Extreme Green to wake me up with fruity goodness this very AM.

The glass was sitting on the bathroom counter as I was removing the velcro rollers from my hair. Once they were all out, I took a big long gulp. Then I brushed out my hair and went to pick up my hairspray to do a little anti-humidity once-over.

You know, the can of hairspray right next to my smoothie. Shake shake!

A moment later, covered in smoothie from my neck to my knees, I thought perhaps I was the most cool girl alive.

***

I love doing laundry.

And I really love doing laundry when I’ve got a brand new bottle of detergent and a brand new pack of Bounce sheets, and a giant load of whites that need some good lovin’ whitening.

I don’t use bleach too often these days, though.

I mean, I still love it… but I’ve also been on the receiving end of lectures from family and friends about the relentless and ongoing way I’m breaking down the fibres in my clothing, but yesterday I decided to put a little — just a little! — in to give my towels a touch of sparkle.

Unfortunately, when I picked up that giant Costco-esque bottle of bleach to pour some in, I chose the dryer instead.

Fortunately, the darks were still sitting on top. But I still managed to pour it on my feet when I jerked the bottle back from the machine in horror.

Right then, I knew I was special.

***

I tried to kill a mosquito, and smacked myself in the face.

I tried to bake a potato, and left it in the oven — which I didn’t turn on — for two days.

I vacuumed up my own pant leg.

***

Really, do you think I might be a little distracted?