monday, monday…
A haiku for today:
oh cloudy city
more like november are you
without cute sweaters
Sigh.
It’s a bit… muggy? Cloudy? Blah? Pre-rainy? Belligerent? outside today. That’s why I’m glad that I’m warm and dry inside, curled up in my comfy office chair with a giant vat of pure extracted caffeine and a straw.
Mmm… direct.
After a somewhat busy weekend away from home, and a rush of chores last night, I had a hard time sleeping once I finally coaxed my head onto the pillow. In the end, I think I got about four hours.
And that? Just is NOT enough anymore.
So I’m doing my best to be chipper right now, even as my eyelids threaten to go on strike.
I’m going to need your help.
Entertain me!
-
1. Tell me a crazy anecdote from your childhood that will make me laugh out loud.
2. Tell me where you would be today if you could be anywhere doing anything with anyone… and money’s no object!
3. If there was a song that describes your life right now, what is it? If you can find a video of it on YouTube, include that!
4. What annoying habit should they send you to rehab for?
5. What do you wish you were eating right this moment?
GO!
August 20th, 2007 at 10:12 am
1. When I was a kid, my grandmother told me that there was a little man in the freezer named Stanley who made the ice cubes. She even went so far as to put a little man figurine in the freezer, and for YEARS I believed it. It got to a point where Stanley had a whole family.
2. I’d be snuggled on the couch in the middle of a snowstorm watching movies with my husband and a cat. Not very imaginative, I know.
3. I am… I said- Neil Diamond. (You’d think I was 50 and not in my mid-twenties today!)
4. Nail biting. It’s horrible, and I’ve been doing it since I was ten.
5. Creme Brulee.
August 20th, 2007 at 10:33 am
Hi darling, you could probably guess all of these, but for your entertainment, here are my answers:
1. Once when I was about 5, my mom had put me in my room for misbehaving. I wasn’t feeling that well, and I puked on my bed. But instead of crying and asking for my mom, I thought, if I just sit here and she finds me with the puke, she’ll feel really bad. And sure enough, she came in like 20 minutes later and asked why I didn’t ask for her and tell her I was sick, and I said, you said I should stay in my room. And she felt bad. AH manipulation started early.
2. I would be with you by a pool in Hawaii and we would lie on the beach all day and then go to a fancy restaurant for dinner.
3. Fast Car by Tracy Chapman. I listened to it like 12 times last night. I need a vacation. Ooh.. coming soon…
4. um.. I think you would say rearranging the dishwasher. And I would agree.
5. I wish I was eating french toast. Mmm.
August 20th, 2007 at 10:45 am
I’m feeling pritty tired myself, but I’m sure I got a good childhood thingey that’ll make you laugh.
1. When I was little I found a cacoon on the side of a cardboard box, being young, stupid, and blind, lol I didint know what it was, so I started to poke it. Eventualey the butterfly liveing inside got pissed and attacked the side of my head…..no lie. I ran in the house screaming and crying, and to this day I’ve been afraide of butterflys ever sense. But my stap dad, who didint know this, was getting me to rake some leaves in the backyard one day. He saw a monark butterfly and was like oh how cute. So I was rakeing away when he went, “Danielle, look, a butterfly” so neadless to say I dropped the rake and went screaming in to the house. He just stood there blinking….and that, was how he found out I was afraide of butterflys.
2. If I could be doing anything with anyone, I would be takeing a crues down the Nile River with all of my best friends. Sounds cheesey, I know, but I love Egypt, and nothings better then the company of your close friends.
3. A song that discribes my life right now, would be point of no return by Dj. Encore….and I doubt I’ll be able to find a vid of it on youtube…and I doubt you’ve ever heard of it…..but I’ll check and see if I can find ya a link. Well heres the song, but it’s set to a final fanticey vidio *shudders* stupid amv’s.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-2B1wakgUc
4. The anoying habit they should send me to rehab for would have to be nail picking. Like if you have a hang nale and it just drives you insaine, and you pick at it…..or the slightest bur in your nale and you pick at it….arg it drives me freeking insaine! As it does the people around me….heh….
5. Right this moment, I wish I was eating that kick ass mack and cheese from the bowmart…..and yes I have wierd eating habits. I’m not a breakfist person though, so I’ll just jump right ahead to lunch.
Hope this wakes you up!!
August 20th, 2007 at 2:08 pm
*snorts* and mutters something about “caffeine…sleep” and “swift kicks in the butt”
August 20th, 2007 at 3:04 pm
1. My brother was dating a girl who made a six-layer cake to impress him. He boasted that no one would be able to eat a whole piece. Being 13 and wanting to show off myself, I did. (Don’t know if it’s funny, or something to be boastful of, or if it’s just plain gross.)
2. Greece, swimming, eating a la Shirley Valentine.
3. “Lip Syncing To The Song” (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zk5w9QPf6ek) … just because every other theme song (Specifically “Singing in the Rain” (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkEvy-9yVyQ) makes me sound really really really old.
4. Over eating or worrying: both especially when I’m bored or tired. I need more then a 12 step program.
5. Seafood - like mussels, clams, scallops.
August 20th, 2007 at 3:19 pm
Ooooo…I HATE those kind of days! I know I’m late in ‘filing’ my response, but here it is anyway.
1. This wasn’t so much when I was a small child, but I was about 17 and I thought it was funny. It’s actually one of my best stories. I was working for a furniture company as a customer service rep. We had to deal with all complaints, including those that were in regards to the company’s ‘credit card’. One day a guy came in and wanted to return his sofa after 3 years because he wasn’t getting along with the credit company. We told him that wasn’t possible. He went out in the parking lot, pushed the sofa off the back of his pickup truck, doused it with gasoline and lit it on fire, screaming that now we would HAVE to take it back. So we did; we called the fire department who put out the blaze and then we took his sofa back….to his house, his address having been supplied by the last credit card statement that he left at the start of his visit. I still laugh out loud when I think of that story!
2. I would be somewhere hot that had sand and warm, clear water, with a coconut flavoured drink in my hand and sunglasses perched on my face.
3. I quite like the song “Meant to Fly” by Eva Avila. It’s such a hopeful song.
4. I don’t have one habit that I need rehab for, but a staggering variety of oddness-es that could use some correction.
5. I would love to be eating either good Thai food or sushi from The Eatery on Broadway.
August 20th, 2007 at 3:29 pm
I’ll give you two! Here’s the childhood anecdote:
When I was around six and my sister was four, life was glorious and Liz would do absolutely anything I told her to do. All I had to say was, “Liz, do ________.” Boy, I miss those days. Anyway, we were on a summer family car trip to visit family (sounds promising already, doesn’t it?) in Texas, and we were maybe halfway there (this means the hell that is Amarillo and HEAT). We ate at a McDonald’s that morning, and Liz wasn’t hungry but Mom compelled her to eat a hearty portion of scrambled eggs. An hour later in the car, I found a one-pound family-size bag of M&Ms and said, “Liz, eat all of these.”
“Okay,” said my cherubic four-year-old sister.
A few minutes later: “Teen, I don’t really want any more.”
“No, keep eating.”
“Okay.”
Next thing you know: BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! M&Ms and scrambled eggs all over the back seat of the station wagon! All over the nest of quilts and pillows Mom had assembled for us so we’d be comfy during the road trip.
Mom was…not pleased.
Dad…laughed hysterically and snapped photos of our faces, mine grinning maniacally and Liz’s forlorn and tear-stained with a trickle of barf-drool down her chin.
Mom had to rinse out the bedding in a gas-station bathroom. In Texas. In hundred-degree heat. And the car? Smelled like yack for days.
Yay! I think it’s funny, anyway.
Okay, and now for where I’d like to be and who I’d like to be with.
In a ruined Scottish castle. With James McAvoy.
August 20th, 2007 at 4:18 pm
When we were kids, my sister and I were always inventing the next big thing. We had this idea of making ladybug-powered cars - only they wouldn’t stick around long enough for us to try it out.
2. somewhere beachy or cabin-y with hubby (and out of cell phone range)
3. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pv5zWaTEVkI
maybe something to do with the treadmills?
4. I have the same affliction as Catherine
5. Bajio pineapple shrimp salad (the only way besides their tacos to eat shrimp)
August 20th, 2007 at 5:07 pm
1. When I was a toddler, my mom was pushing me along through the Bronx in a stroller. A man ambled by, walking a chihuahua, and I uttered my first complete sentence, “What dat, a mouse?”
2. My son and I would be in Maui. I would be teaching him how to snorkel at Poolenalena Beach. Afterwards we would have a dinner with Ono, his favorite food.
3. Iggy Pop’s “Lust for Life” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPMn6bay3WY (strong language)
Life’s just a Carnival Cruise.
4. Laughing at inappropriate times (Oh, that was an accident? Are you OK?)
5. Lobster. Oh God, yes, lobster.
August 20th, 2007 at 9:38 pm
Climate Haiku:
Texas in August
Fry an egg on my car’s hood
Wouldn’t eat it though
1. If you laugh out loud, it would be only out of schadenfreude. We moved here from Ohio when I was three. It was August, but not just any August: it’s in the local record books for the hottest temperatures in the history of this well air-conditioned burg. I vividly remember the trauma of stepping off the train and feeling the heat wash over me. My brother, ten years older, told me that we had moved to hell and would never see snow again. One night that winter, it snowed. I woke up to find the yard covered with about an inch or so of the blessed white stuff. I ran to my brother’s room to wake him up. “Mike! Mike! You were wrong! It DOES snow here!” I shouted. Bleary-eyed, he followed me to the front door to see the proof for himself. We quickly threw on our snow gear, which of course we had kept because we knew we were going to get to use it again, and went out to begin assembling a snowman. We soon came to the conclusion that we did not have enough snow for the scale of snowman we envisioned. “Let’s wait for it to snow some more.” Ten years later…. (Epilogue: we ended up scraping slush out of the street to finish our pathetic dirty gray effigy. It was sad. Yeah, go ahead and laugh.)
2. My knee-jerk answer to where I would be and what I would be doing today if money were no object was France, dining in any of its thousands of fine restaurants with my brother and his family. Then I remembered that the entire nation of France goes on vacation in August. So I’ll say… Vancouver, dining in any of your dozens of fine restaurants with you.
3. This year and every year since it came out, it’s Peter Gabriel’s “Shock the Monkey” (that’d be “Choquez le Singe” for you Canadians), because I always feel that way. (Remember, it’s not whether you’re paranoid, but whether you’re paranoid enough.) Besides, it’s a classic. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d70RNjLsuSk
4. I see that there would be several of us in the nail-picking ward, but I’ll probably be sent away for arguing with the television. Don’t worry: I do it only when alone. Well, alone except for the television.
5. No contest: ice cream, chocolate or vanilla (or both!) with peanut butter in it, whether in “cup” form or otherwise. But I’m afraid my chocolate-or-vanilla-or-both-ice-cream-with-peanut-butter-in-it-whether-in-cup-form-or-otherwise days are best put behind me.
August 21st, 2007 at 8:52 am
If I could pick ONE song that describes my life RIGHT NOW, it would be Fergie’s Big Girl’s Don’t Cry. Perfect Fit!