Because I just sneezed in my latte.

ANTIHISTAMINES

The throw-down inside my sinuses, magnified x 1000

Wikipedia says:

“An antihistamine is a drug which serves to reduce or eliminate effects mediated by histamine, an endogenous chemical mediator released during allergic reactions, through action at the histamine receptor.

Only agents where the main therapeutic effect is mediated by negative modulation of histamine receptors are termed antihistamines – other agents may have antihistaminergic action but are not true antihistamines.”

I say, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!

If there’s an antihistamine to be had, I’ve had it. In addition to asthma and chronic rhinitis, I’m allergic to so many different types of trees, grasses and molds (way to live near a rainforest, dumbass) and so many airborne pollutants (way to live in a city, dumbass) and so many other random things (venison? really? dumbass!) that there’s always SOMETHING to be puffy/itchy/watery/sneezy/runny/congesty about. Blech.

This is why, for multiple months every year, I sound alternately like a squeak toy or a pitbull. Everyone has some homeo-somethingorother remedy they want to suggest beyond the world of modern science, but I gotta tell you… I’m a drug case.

In fact, the fastest way to irritate me is to suggest a remedy for my allergies that you think I haven’t thought of as though I would CHOOSE to spend my life burning through Kleenex and breathing like a freight train all summer. Naturally, if I could take Vitamin C or root of newt to fix it, I WOULD. I even weaned myself off of all the drugs once to try a fun regimen of sinal irrigation (Patia!) and herbs. My eyes swelled shut and I thought my nose was going to fall off of my face. AND I got a cool rash.

So. Antihistamines are necessary. But few of them actually WORK, either, unless you take them in random and elusive combinations that leave you feeling vaguely disoriented and slightly floaty. But it’s better than dying of post-nasal drip.

Here’s a list of what I’m on right now:

Loratadine
Cetirizine
Fexofendine

If I ever adopt triplets, those are totally the names.

External Links:

Wikipedia entry on allergies
Wikipedia entry on deviated septums (septii?)
A photo of me looking totally impressed at the height of allergy season