megfowler.com

Hey, girl.

How are you? I feel like we haven’t talked much lately.

I can tell you’re thinking about a lot of stuff, but it seems that you’re keeping it close for now.

And while that’s cool, I just wanted to check in to make sure you were moving forward, and not stuck in some sort of Meg-shaped holding pattern.

You can get like that, you know.

Stuck.

On thoughts, on people, on regrets, on worries, on ideas, on memories.

I don’t really understand why you do it, other than the fact that you tend to relive mistakes until they’re burned into your brain deeply enough to terrify you into not making them the next time.

Then you make them again.

Because that’s you, honey.

You like to create some sort of wacky consistency in your life by reintroducing the same damn stress into your world over and over.

Procrastinate? YES! Skip doctor’s appointments? YES! Put off difficult conversations? YES! Deny yourself experiences you’ve been longing to have? YES! Worry about how other people will react? YES! Hesitate on big moves? YES!

It’s the craziest thing.

You dance and sing and caffeinate and spin through life with a grin, but the whole damn time, you’re frozen on the inside, waiting to be confident enough to act on stuff that actually matters. Stuff that might actually change your life.

I watch you do it. It hurts me sometimes, actually.

Why don’t you want to be the same girl all the way through?

Why don’t you want to be as confident about making a plan and sticking to it as you are about bursting into song on a street corner?

Don’t let your heart break because you feel the need to pretend that this is enough. Or that you’re satisfied with halfway.

GET the enough. GET the more. Stop worrying about it and do it.

Then come tell me about it.

Because it’s been a while.

And I miss you.

Love,

Meg