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Keep answering here… I totally find it fascinating to hear how people navigate conflict in their lives.

Here are my answers — if something doesn’t make sense, just ask:

1. Do you have a temper?

I definitely do, but it’s usually more connected with circumstances than people. If a million rough things are going on, my tongue gets sharper and I react much more quickly than I should. I don’t like to be pushed OR ignored when I’m frustrated, and oddly — those are generally exactly the things people do in dealing with my bad mood.

I can’t really blame them, but I rarely like it. I get over it pretty quickly, though… and if I was a jerk, I apologize, and mean it.

I DO hate it when people are rude for the sake of being rude… that gets me on the defensive despite the fact that I should know better. The whole “no excuses” or “proud to be a bitch” or “I don’t care if offend people, that’s their problem” thing seems like such a waste of time to me. Why not actually listen to people? Why not try to be decent to them? It blows my mind when people act that way, and then wonder why the world is such a messed up place in the next breath.

Are you serious? Do you want to borrow my mirror and check out the problem?

Oops. I think that was my temper again.

2. Do you yell?

I don’t very often, actually. It takes a lot to get me that far. I used to think I was a yeller, but I think I only respond to yellers that way. And I only end up yelling at people I love, if I’m going to yell, because they’re the only people who can push my buttons that thoroughly. My mom and I have yelled at one another quite a few times, and I’ve had some interesting dust ups in relationships. Oddly enough, I do tend to get interested in guys who resolve conflict with silence. IRONY ALERT.

My friend Jonathan, however, stands out as the one person I can yell at, and it’s deliriously fun. We’re good fighters, and we always end up laughing.

3. Are you good at confronting/challenging people when you have an issue?

Too good. I should let things sit more often, rather than rushing in and trying to resolve a problem that only I might see. I do stand up for other people, though, and I rarely regret those kind of confrontations. I’m much more measured when I am acting on someone’s behalf, and a pretty decent advocate. I was planning to be a lawyer for years, and I think that instinct was part of the impetus behind that.

I’m totally not afraid of conflict, though I can get a little intimidated when really unpredictable people get up in arms. Are you going to smack me? Hug me? Smother me? What?

And ohhh… please talk to ME if you have a problem with me. Not everyone else on the planet.

4. Do you know how to resolve your arguments generally?

The kind of arguments I have usually resolve with time or an apology. Everyone just needs to chill out and own up to their own rough reaction. If I’ve ended up in conflict with someone I don’t know well, or someone who refuses to communicate, I’m pretty stymied, though. You can’t make someone resolve something if they don’t want to… and believe me, that gets me going all over again.

Which is, without a doubt, a fairly obnoxious character flaw.

5. Do you often apologize first?

Oh, yeah. I’d rather resolve things, especially since I know I can be a bit of a hothead.

6. Are you good at forgiving other people?

Definitely. Forgetting is harder, but I’m improving with that, over time. When people do the same thing over and over again, it gets a little more challenging. But again, I have to take a look at myself and go, ah… you’re annoying. Let them be annoying.

7. Do your strategies (or lack thereof) for dealing with conflict/issues work for you?

Heh… not always. Not with stubborn people or non-communicators, or people that just don’t communicate like I do. They probably think I’m a jackass. But I don’t really engage in a lot of conflict, so I’m not suffering at the hands of my own strategies.

8. Do they work for the people around you?

Mostly. Unless you don’t like me. Ha!

9. Do your expectations of how other people should handle conflict match up with your own behaviours?

I have a really hard time with people who say something cruel in a situation, and then refuse to deal with anything beyond that. That’s just a huge waste of time and relationship to me. If you can be kind to people, you should be. And if you mess up, say so, and then everyone can move on.

But I am learning to not expect people to do one thing or another in response to a situation… to just wait and see and accept, or react accordingly when the time comes. Sometimes we’ve coloured a situation so much with our expectations that we’re ready to freak out before it even comes to fruition.

10. Do you have people in your life that you may or may not love but they get you going like no other person on earth?

I do, and it’s not something I’m proud of. I don’t even think they mean to set me off, but under certain circumstances, it seems to be inevitable. When I realize that’s happening, though, I tend to just ignore my own reaction and chalk it up to me being too eager to take the bait, or too prone to overreact.