Ack. The idea of this wedding sends me into total cognitive dissonance.
My two least favourite TV genres, the sanctimonious family hour and the reality mudslinger, together at last.
In human form. With Della officiating.
And butterflies being released.
I hate butterflies.
Errands at the Public Market.
Wandering the Village.
Putting sheets out to air-dry.
Eschewing makeup for mid-spring freckles-and-tan.
I even bought Bumble and Bumble Creme de Coco shampoo so that my hair will now smell like the beach.
Summer is coming, people. I believe it. And no matter what else may be going on in my life, and whatever other clouds may settle on my little mountain, I know the sunshine is ahead.
And right now, of course.
As with all things in life, I should enjoy it while it lasts.
Wow! I had no idea there was so much stuff you wished I’d write more about!
So, since I’m lying in bed with coffee and my laptop and not getting anything ELSE done, why not babble a little now?
For Mary:
Hockey is definitely in my blood… it was inevitable that I would become a fan.
My grandfather played in the farm system of what would become today’s NHL, and my dad played in rec leagues throughout my childhood.
I was on skates pretty early on, too, and spent some time growing up in Edmonton during their “hockey dynasty” years, which accounts for the fact that I like the Canucks, not the Oilers, and Mark Messier is a mythically evil figure in my life.
It was always going on around me, really. Hockey was something to love.
But I didn’t TRULY come into my own fanship until my late teens-early twenties, when I began to fall in love with hockey players wholesale and spend all my Saturday nights watching my friends play at tiny community arenas.
Then I started to absorb stats and highlight reels with vigour… and it was all downhill from there.
Today, I am a die-hard, non-bandwagon, devoted no-matter-what Canucks fan, and will be that way until they put me in the cold, hard ground. Or the cold, hard ice, on a particularly vicious check.
For Liz:
Sports thuggery is a major pet peeve of mine, actually. As a hockey fan, I’m pretty used to guys mixing it up on the ice, but the inability to keep cool OFF the ice is really not cool. Fortunately (and I say that wryly), hockey players tend to be more of the “bar fight” variety of idiot, and not so much the “cap in your ass” types.
Many of them actually come from small towns on the prairies and Quebec where their mothers would have tossed them in the well if they’d shown up late for chores or even talked back. Lots of family influence, lots of religious influence, lots of strong role models.
Then again, hockey parents can be HORRIBLE. So it’s six of one and half a dozen of the other.
I do watch the NFL (never been a huge basketball girl), and I’m pretty disappointed by how some of the players conduct themselves.
The sad thing is that a sudden influx of money into the lives of many professional athletes creates power and conflict situations that they just aren’t prepared to deal with, and things unravel accordingly.
Background plays some role, cultural forces play some role, external relationships play some role, and team dynamics DEFINITELY play some role, but at the end of the day, there’s no excuse for abusing your privilege. I don’t care where you come from.
I believe in criminal charges, harsh suspensions, major fines, and league sanctions for athletes that take liberties on AND off the field. Period.
For Shane:
Onions make you cry because they’re nasty little bitches.
Sure, HowStuffWorks.com says this:
“When you slice through an onion, you break open a number of onion cells. Some of these cells have enzymes inside of them, and when they are sliced open, the enzymes escape. The enzymes then decompose some of the other substances that have escaped from sliced cells. Some of these substances, amino acid sulfoxides, form sulfenic acids, which then quickly rearrange themselves into a volatile gas.”
But I believe that there is just a natural human-onion conflict — like that which exists between men and women — that creates this phenomenon. And sadly, unlike the gender crisis, we don’t have sex to make it all better. So we cry.
And don’t even think about having sex with an onion. You think it hurts your eyes? Wait until they get at your bits.
For Barbie:
Yes, I do often wonder about peoples’ blog names. Sometimes, they explain the little “nicks” in their “About Me” page, and sometimes I actually just email them about it out of boundless curiosity.
Usually, however, according to the content of the blog, you can kind of figure out why they chose the name they chose. But, again… if I wonder, I ask.
I will admit that really weird, lengthy, oddball blog monikers make me roll my eyes a little, mostly because you’re not really helping anyone remember you if you make it too complicated. But that might not be what you want, anyway.
(Oh — and any blog that uses “69″ in the URL or nick is dead to me. Ha!)
Many people use their blogs as an anonymous place to vent or express things they need a special outlet for, and that’s totally cool. I love that the Web has given them that opportunity to seek out community.
I do that, too, but I don’t write about work, or express frustration that I don’t express to the source of the frustration first. That keeps me out of hot water… generally.
When people email me about starting blogs, I usually advocate for starting under their own names if they are looking to build a writing career… otherwise, it just doesn’t matter. Many people feel safer in general with a pseudonym, too, especially if they have kids.
More to come!
This is baby Presley, who lives upstairs, but comes to chill with us now and then.
She is DELICIOUS.
Check out those pink boots. I MEAN, REALLY.
(Oh, and that’s her dad’s toe. You know I don’t wear socks.)
I was going to write a long, delicious blog entry for you, full of near-death stories and inspiring details and pictures of sunsets and babies and kittens. Also? Hockey.
Sadly, however, I have a migraine, so I must reserve all my mental energy for not… exploding… at… the… neck. And work. Which I have a ton of.
It’s a REALLY good migraine, too… I think my allergies are helping it build steam, and that’s always a recipe for fun.
So, I will require you to write my blog for me today.
In the comments below (And you all have to do it! I see you there not commenting! I’m looking right at you! Or squinting, more specifically. Do you find it oddly bright in here? Is that a gnome on your shoulder?) please tell me the following:
2. If you know the answer to someone else’s “thing they don’t understand”, tell us!
3. One thing you’ve always, always, always wished I would write about because you want to know what I think.
4. Your favourite animal.
5. Your favourite kitchen utensil.
6. What kind of pants you’re wearing.
7. How are you? And I mean, really… how ARE you?
I, for one, need a head transplant.
Keep answering here… I totally find it fascinating to hear how people navigate conflict in their lives.
Here are my answers — if something doesn’t make sense, just ask:
1. Do you have a temper?
I definitely do, but it’s usually more connected with circumstances than people. If a million rough things are going on, my tongue gets sharper and I react much more quickly than I should. I don’t like to be pushed OR ignored when I’m frustrated, and oddly — those are generally exactly the things people do in dealing with my bad mood.
I can’t really blame them, but I rarely like it. I get over it pretty quickly, though… and if I was a jerk, I apologize, and mean it.
I DO hate it when people are rude for the sake of being rude… that gets me on the defensive despite the fact that I should know better. The whole “no excuses” or “proud to be a bitch” or “I don’t care if offend people, that’s their problem” thing seems like such a waste of time to me. Why not actually listen to people? Why not try to be decent to them? It blows my mind when people act that way, and then wonder why the world is such a messed up place in the next breath.
Are you serious? Do you want to borrow my mirror and check out the problem?
Oops. I think that was my temper again.
2. Do you yell?
I don’t very often, actually. It takes a lot to get me that far. I used to think I was a yeller, but I think I only respond to yellers that way. And I only end up yelling at people I love, if I’m going to yell, because they’re the only people who can push my buttons that thoroughly. My mom and I have yelled at one another quite a few times, and I’ve had some interesting dust ups in relationships. Oddly enough, I do tend to get interested in guys who resolve conflict with silence. IRONY ALERT.
My friend Jonathan, however, stands out as the one person I can yell at, and it’s deliriously fun. We’re good fighters, and we always end up laughing.
3. Are you good at confronting/challenging people when you have an issue?
Too good. I should let things sit more often, rather than rushing in and trying to resolve a problem that only I might see. I do stand up for other people, though, and I rarely regret those kind of confrontations. I’m much more measured when I am acting on someone’s behalf, and a pretty decent advocate. I was planning to be a lawyer for years, and I think that instinct was part of the impetus behind that.
I’m totally not afraid of conflict, though I can get a little intimidated when really unpredictable people get up in arms. Are you going to smack me? Hug me? Smother me? What?
And ohhh… please talk to ME if you have a problem with me. Not everyone else on the planet.
4. Do you know how to resolve your arguments generally?
The kind of arguments I have usually resolve with time or an apology. Everyone just needs to chill out and own up to their own rough reaction. If I’ve ended up in conflict with someone I don’t know well, or someone who refuses to communicate, I’m pretty stymied, though. You can’t make someone resolve something if they don’t want to… and believe me, that gets me going all over again.
Which is, without a doubt, a fairly obnoxious character flaw.
5. Do you often apologize first?
Oh, yeah. I’d rather resolve things, especially since I know I can be a bit of a hothead.
6. Are you good at forgiving other people?
Definitely. Forgetting is harder, but I’m improving with that, over time. When people do the same thing over and over again, it gets a little more challenging. But again, I have to take a look at myself and go, ah… you’re annoying. Let them be annoying.
7. Do your strategies (or lack thereof) for dealing with conflict/issues work for you?
Heh… not always. Not with stubborn people or non-communicators, or people that just don’t communicate like I do. They probably think I’m a jackass. But I don’t really engage in a lot of conflict, so I’m not suffering at the hands of my own strategies.
8. Do they work for the people around you?
Mostly. Unless you don’t like me. Ha!
9. Do your expectations of how other people should handle conflict match up with your own behaviours?
I have a really hard time with people who say something cruel in a situation, and then refuse to deal with anything beyond that. That’s just a huge waste of time and relationship to me. If you can be kind to people, you should be. And if you mess up, say so, and then everyone can move on.
But I am learning to not expect people to do one thing or another in response to a situation… to just wait and see and accept, or react accordingly when the time comes. Sometimes we’ve coloured a situation so much with our expectations that we’re ready to freak out before it even comes to fruition.
10. Do you have people in your life that you may or may not love but they get you going like no other person on earth?
I do, and it’s not something I’m proud of. I don’t even think they mean to set me off, but under certain circumstances, it seems to be inevitable. When I realize that’s happening, though, I tend to just ignore my own reaction and chalk it up to me being too eager to take the bait, or too prone to overreact.
1. Do you have a temper?
2. Do you yell?
3. Are you good at confronting/challenging people when you have an issue?
4. Do you know how to resolve your arguments generally?
5. Do you often apologize first?
6. Are you good at forgiving other people?
7. Do your strategies (or lack thereof) for dealing with conflict/issues work for you?
8. Do they work for the people around you?
9. Do your expectations of how other people should handle conflict match up with your own behaviours?
10. Do you have people in your life that you may or may not love but they get you going like no other person on earth?
Tell us all about it. Let it out.
Apparently I haven’t had a whole lot to say about my favourite sport since the NHL playoffs began, which is funny… usually I end up trash-talking our opponents or posting endlessly about team stats or wanting to share every detail of every matchup. But something tells me if you wanted to know, you’d be watching. Yeah?
All that really needs to be said is this: I love hockey. I love playoff hockey. I love the Canucks. And we’re going all the way. Anyone who says otherwise or sits around bemoaning the inconsistencies in our game and spreading doom just needs to remember that IT’S A GAME. This is supposed to be FUN. Save your angst for your relationships or the price of gas.
***
Catherine and I were guests of our lovely neighbour, Dean (dad of the very cute Presley, who has made an appearance here, and husband of Karen, who is one of those women who looks great in yoga pants and a ponytail. Dean, don’t worry, you’re still getting your very own entry!) at a great restaurant in Vancouver last night. He is one of the managers there, which means YAY! for us.
I think we sat there for almost two and a half hours, just enjoying watching the sun go down out huge windows, watching a cruise ship head out to sea, and eating THE BEST STEAK EVER WHOA. I have no idea how I’d function as a herbivore. If there was a plant that tasted like rack of lamb, I’d be all up in it. But sadly? It’s just the lambs that taste good with mint jelly, not bulbs or shoots or roots.
***
My allergies have been wildly inconsistent this year. Some days, I feel like a normal human being, while other days bring giant golf ball puff-eyes and a water-torture nose. I’m on a peculiar cocktail of sinus medication, nasal sprays and two kinds of antihistamines, and sometimes I wonder if my body is trying to find extra allergens just to compensate for the giant wave of cure and prevention I’ve set in motion. But without it, I’m barely able to function through the pain and swelling in my face.
I do know that I’m tired of having a gravelly, congested voice for five, six months of the year. I also know that I’m tired of health crap in general. I don’t want to listen to my sinuses creak like an old house first thing in the morning, or wonder if someday my husband will smother me in the night because I can’t help snoring. I don’t want to have odd skin conditions. I don’t want to deal with asthma attacks. I don’t want a body shaped like mine.
I’m also really tired of reading scare tactic articles about the dangers of hormone replacement, especially when it’s my only hope of being a normal 33 year-old woman. I don’t want to think about infertility anymore, not when everyone around me is glorying in theirs. And I know that I need to get into better condition in general, but sometimes I wonder if it’s even possible to be anything other than this. Then I smack myself in the head.
And I think, “You could have cancer. You could be unable to walk. You could have a disease with a far greater impact on your existence.” That’s what forces me to stop feeling sorry for myself.
Unfortunately, it does not eliminate snot.
***
I have to learn not to take the bait from rude people quite as much as I do. Must. Not. React. I always wanted to be one of those cheerful and sage people that don’t seem to have any major buttons to push. How do they do that? Is it medication?
I just don’t get willful rudeness or meanness or ignorance. If you can’t show people grace and kindness, please just… shhh.
***
There. Brain clear.
