megfowler.com

Why, hello!

How are you?

I’d shake your hand, but it would appear that mine is crawling with EVIL, BODY-SNATCHING GERMS.

Or something.

For those of you that haven’t been with me from the beginning, or those of you who just don’t remember these things (because why would you?), here is the breakdown of events:

1. A wall of congestion and pain descends on my face last Wednesday.

2. A fever dawdles in on Thursday, along with fatigue and symptoms that appear to be some combination of the Plague and Typhoid.

3. Friday, I go to the doctor, and he gives me antibiotics for a sinus infection. I am very proud of myself for going to the doctor.

4. Saturday and Sunday are spent in a haze of tiredness, Advil Cold and Sinus Plus, and DVDs.

5. Monday arrives, and things seem to be getting worse. The congestion has left me with a perma-migraine and a swollen face, and the fever is trucking along nicely.

5. Tuesday arrives, and by mid-day, I’m wondering why I’ve been sapped of all will to live. Now I’m coughing, my face is swollen and red, and I’ve resorted to only breathing half as much because I sound like a Dyson every time I take air in. I get home, I lie down on the couch. I am pathetic beyond all reason. We call Catherine’s mom (she’s the best nurse in the world) because neither of us is getting better (she from the flu, me from… this.) She says that Catherine has to go to the doctor, and I need to go back, because I need different drugs. I affirm this. By now, I’ve tried nasal irrigation (TMI, I know), steaming, antihistamines, decongestants, antibiotics, weird teas, hot and cold packs, herbs, vitamins, sinus massage… you name it! Friends suggest new remedies and I’m like YEAH DID IT. DIDN’T WORK. WHATCHA GOT NOW, HOTSHOT?

6. Wednesday morning dawns, and my eyes are puffy and itchy, the congestion has not abated, and now I have a persistent, burning cough. Fever clocks in steady at 101 F. It all still points to a sinus infection, just one that is TAKING OVER MY SOUL.

I’m feeling a tad pissy about the whole thing. But I’m walking as positively as I can through it, despite the fact that I am practically wearing the same outfit I wore yesterday; that my hair keeps crawling into my eyes because I got tired while I was blowdrying; that my nose is a lovely strawberry shade of red; and that I’m about ready to dig out my itchy eyes with a spoon.

While I’ve been dealing with my autoimmune and hormone issues for almost a year at this point (with varying degrees of success and frustration), I’ve otherwise been pretty damn healthy up until now. The people that chide me for my flip-flop wearing, under-dressed ways are always getting colds and sore throats and crazyass flu bugs.

They wander about in their coats and scarves, moaning at their symptoms.

But me?

IRON MEG.

Until now. Which alternately makes me feel like sleeping or crying because dude… when I get sick? I GET SICK.

And every time someone says, “Well, hope you get better!” or “Feel better soon!” or “Doing better today?” I want to scream because it just reminds me that I’m falling apart more and more by degrees. But that’s what people say, because what else can they say?

“Merciful heavens, have you considered that it could be cancer?”

“You look HORRIBLE.”

No.

But anyway.

ENOUGH.

CURE, PLEASE.