I wish I had a pet penguin. I think I could make him happy. Certainly I would never mock his waddle, and I’d wear black and white to make him feel at ease. But how at ease can you feel when you’re short, round, and fall over a lot? Oh, wait  think I already know the answer to that. I don’t trust people that don’t have any favourites in life. I can’t imagine being that magnanimous or that malcontent. I wish I had a car that was powered by Kool-Aid — one that would change the colour of the Kool-Aid you chose every time you filled it up. I think I’d fill it with Cherry Kool-Aid more often than not, but never, ever Sharkleberry Fin. So much can be accomplished by staring into space — the more I do it, the more I find that my mind clears, and thoughts come one at a time, rather than fifty at a time. The only problem is when the one thought is something like, “Sky is blue” or “toe itchy”. I’m not gonna save the world with that crap. I thought for about ten seconds that I was technologically astute, then I repeatedly typed ‘giggle’ instead of ‘Google’ into my URL line in Firefox today. Six or seven times. I kept wondering who stole Google, and if the world had suddenly slipped off its axis a little more, and then I realized it was just my mind that had slipped into space. On the other hand, I heard someone talking about the Port of Vancouver today, and I pictured a USB. I feel really badly for carbs and the horrid reputation they’ve gotten from diet doctors and the media. I mean, they are often the sweetest, nicest things in the world, and yet we’re told that they’re BAD! BAD! It’s like slapping your grandma when she offers you some pie. Sure, she’s a little slow and heavy, but she’s just trying to fill you up, for heaven’s sakes! And PROtein just sounds arrogant! Is the correct pronunciation ‘jujubes’ or ‘jujubees’? I’m confused by that more than I care to admit, but I can never bring myself to ask. It seems like something I should already know. I spilled Hawaiian Tropic Oil at the beach once, and sure enough, a duck walked over and got stuck in it. But he got a sweet tan.