So George Clooney is People’s Sexiest Man Alive this year?

I can roll with that. He’s bright, funny, socially-concerned, and can walk that tightrope between “check it, I’m hot” roles and “check it, I’m talented” roles. For this, I give him kudos, and also my phone number.

But what about everything else on the planet? All the other living things? What, for example, is the sexiest vegetable alive? Or what might be the sexiest shrub? Or perhaps the sexiest non-vertebrate?

Why LEAVE IT AT MEN?

I, for one, believe that some sexy things just SHOULDN’T be overlooked. Thus, I present:

The MegFowler.com Sexiest Stuff Alive (Or Not) Awards Part One

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Sexiest Mollusk Alive:

The Cuttlefish

My favourite part of the Wikipedia entry would have to be the caption: “Two cuttlefish interact while a third looks on.”

So dirty.

Also? “Cuttle” sounds a lot like “Cuddle.” Now imagine cuddlefish.

OH! Wookit the sweetnesses!

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Sexiest Toothbrush… Not Alive But For Sale:

The Radius Toothbrush

That is EXACTLY how I’m built. Rock it.

If I could prevent tartar buildup, I would totally be marketable.

And who doesn’t, in the words of the Radius site, like to

• “possess a high tuft count” or
• “last three times longer” or
• have a “wide oval head that flexes back and forth.”

My, my, my.

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Sexiest Light Fixture… Uh… Lit:

The Double Bubble Lamp

Just LOOK at how that man is groping at it! That’s a SEXY LAMP. Huzzah!

Actually, this lamp reminds me of my high school gym teacher. For reasons I cannot discuss (yet blame entirely on her habit of wearing non-supportive underwear to do jumping jacks.)

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Sexiest Tree Alive:

The Santa Cruz Luma

Need I say more?

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And finally, to close off Part One:

Sexiest Water Bottle:

TyNant Water

Do you see the resemblance?

MegFowler.com: Never above gratuitousness, since 2006.