Since there are a lot of new people stopping by MegFowler.com for a lot of different reasons lately, my need to be hospitable has kicked in with the force of a donkey fending off yet another damn bag of coffee from that bastard Valdez. I’ll show YOU 100% Colombian!
Did that paragraph make any sense to you?
No?
That’s okay. It’s late. Me neither.
But I feel as though I should put out some snacks for everyone, at the very least. Perhaps some antipasto? Crudite? Breads? Cold cuts? Cheetos and Chex Mix?
Festive beverages?
A blanket and a pillow?
A kitten?
Oh… see? You want a kitten, don’t you.
Here:
Whoa! Kitten AND a wee duckie. You lucked out.
But I digress.
Tomorrow will bring thoughts on the following:
- Why dyeing your own hair at home is tantamount to saying, “I think I look good with an odd gray blotch on my face!”
- How men are really the flakier sex.
- What makes you read things that hurt you, even when they hurt you.
- Why I make my own salsa.
- 10 Reasons why I blame The Bachelor for my creeping insanity.
- Five things NEVER to say on instant messaging programs.
- My new book! Which has no book deal or publisher or editor or anything. Hell, it doesn’t even have words or pages yet. But I’ve decided it’s TIME!
And if that’s not enough? Come help me write a new “About Me” page. Because if I rewrite THAT, life change can’t help but follow, right?
That IS how it works, isn’t it?
Shhhh, now.
Just eat an olive and have a seat on the couch. I’ll be right back.
OR… do this…
Vote!
Or the kitten and duck get it.
That’s no duckie…
Why hello there, yourself! I was reading some of your posts yesterday and cracking up. I eagerly look forward to hearing about that home-made salsa, and your new book.
I’m not sure about the kitten – do you also offer a puppy crop circle for discriminating readers?
Stacey — how could I deny you?!
And okay, so it’s not a duck. What is this? Ornithology chat?
hello. wow, it’s so comfy here on the couch. but really, i’m not a big fan of olives…maybe you could bring me some brie?
i just bought a box of hair dye at target, and i was planning on doing my color tonight, but perhaps i will wait until i’ve read your thoughts on how to avoid gray blotches
Liz, I love you, but you suck.
And I’m freaking out about the hair dye right now, because it bleached out my virginal roots. How did it do that? Now I look like I dye my hair! AAAAAA!
Can I get a lemonade, please?