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From the witty and wise Christina, who probably thinks more about Halloween than anyone else on the planet…

So Halloween is great for nerds. But for some nerds, the costume choices are less obvious than for others. Star Trek nerds? Well, they’ve got Halloween pretty much dealt with for the next 4,000 years. Computer nerds? They just get an excuse to bring out the wacky computer nerd t-shirts that might not be appropriate in public any other day of the year.

But book nerds? Well, BOOK nerds have a bit of a problem.

I mean, you can’t just dress up like your favourite (note the “u”) character from a book. First, no one is likely to have a clue who you are. Second, you probably just look like pretty much anybody from whatever time period your character is from. My favourite book character is Jake Barnes from The Sun Also Rises. But dressing up like him? Well, that would be a tough one.

And you can’t dress up like your favourite author, either. Well, I guess I COULD dress up like Hemingway, but somehow making Papa the subject of a Halloween costume just doesn’t seem a fitting tribute.

So what’s left?

Well, my personal favourite (U, U, U!!!!) is to create a costume based either on a play on words, or the ridiculous enactment of a famous saying or quotation.

Here’s the breakdown:

1. For the play on words option, you have to pick a word that sounds like another word — and that other word has to be something you can dress up as. My first attempt at this was the not completely original, yet totally awesome gang green. Yes, my coworkers and I all dressed as a green gang. But what word sounds like gang green? That’s right — gangrene. Whaa ha ha ha ha.

That’s me on the right, reveling in my own awesomeness:

Note the sheepish looks on the faces of the co-workers I talked into participating.

2. Another option is to pick a saying or expression and find some element of it you can dress up as, then make the saying more “obvious” by adding accessories. My costume that fit into this category was the cat that was let out of the bag. I started out with a basic cat costume, then added a bag to my leg that said “Contents: One cat.”

The thing you will find with costumes of this nature is that no matter how completely obvious they are to you, your friends will still not understand them.

This is the look of utter frustration you are sure to have after attempting to explain a costume like this for the 50th time:

Sayings are a pretty good category because there is usually some obvious piece you can start with — a sheep in wolf’s clothing, a red herring, the cat’s pyjamas, etc, etc.

3. You can also dress up as a famous quotation. Again, you have to start with something that has an element you can dress up as. The totally brilliant flash of inspiration that hit me this year is that many quotations contain the word “be.” Now, what can you dress up as to represent the word “be”? If you can’t figure that out, this kind of costume is not for you.

So, this year, my costume (which generally would remain a secret until the big day) is “To be or not to be.” I’ll simply dress as a bee, with a 2 on my front, and a 2 with a line through it on my back.

Two bee or not-two bee:

Awesome.

The best thing about this costume is that the bee part can be used over and over. Next year I might be Bee afraid — bee very afraid! Or maybe bee still, my beating heart. The possibilities are virtually limitless.

So that’s about it, folks. The key here is not to take yourself too seriously… because everyone else will think you are a complete nitwit. But what does that matter when you will be silently glowing with inner glee at your own brilliance throughout the entire day?

Rock on, book nerds… rock on.