megfowler.com

I used to have long conversations with my friend Mark in which I would spout many large thoughts, while waving my hands around my head, and becoming emotional about…everything. Mark just brought it out in me. He’d listen so intently, but one day, he wasn’t keeping up his end of the discussion. So I asked, “Hey, Marky, what are you thinking about?”

“My coffee just burned my tongue.”

“Ow! Ok. But what before that?”

“Uh… my foot was asleep.”

“Oh… well. You just kept nodding at what I was saying. I didn’t know what you were thinking.”

“Oh, yeah. I’m just listening to you talk. It’s cool. I like how you talk. I don’t need to say anything.”

“Mark, why don’t you tell me if I’m boring you or imposing on you?”

“Hmm… I don’t think I said that. I said I was listening, and that it was cool.”

“But if you have nothing to say, don’t you think that means you’re bored?”

“Whoa, Meg. Get over that. Listening is probably a higher form of interest than babbling back.”

“Am I talking too much?”

“It’s a wonder your parents don’t make you wear a sign that says, ‘Please note: I perceive all comments about myself to actually mean, ‘I SUCK’. Geez.”

“You still didn’t answer.”

Then he threw his scone at my head.

And we resumed the conversation.

… you come across love songs that actually fit your experience of love.

It’s rare.

Which is amazing, given all the love songs in the world.

But this one? This one is me.

Me and all my conflicted, bananacake, argumentative, overly-romantic, dippy-headed ways of loving and being.

(How does one type a smile without using an emoticon?)

***

Just like a star across my sky,
Just like an angel off the page,
You have appeared to my life,
Feel like I’ll never be the same.
Just like a song in my heart,
Just like oil on my hands,
Honored to love you.

Still I wonder why it is,
I don’t argue like this
With anyone but you.
You do it all the time,
Blowing out my mind.

You’ve got this look I can’t describe,
You make me feel I’m alive,
When everything else is au fait,
Without a doubt you’re on my side.
Heaven has been away too long,
Can’t find the words to write this song,
Oh, you’re lovely.

***

Thank you, Corinne Bailey Rae.

I’ll add it to my “to do” list.

I totally want a kitten.

And a pedicure.

But not at the same time, because I don’t want to get nailpolish on its fur.

It’s going to be a busy week. I knew this. But for some reason, I thought it wouldn’t start being stressful until I actually got to work.

SILLY ME.

• University starts today. Or at least I think it does. Because I’m not in classes. It’s been YEARS since I was in classes. But I wish I was. Maybe that’s what the man next to me on the bus was thinking when he turned to me and said (in a voice one might use to speak to a particularly distracted three year old), “First day of school?”I would probably be flattered that he thought I was a) young or b) capable of learning, but he, uh, actually rides the bus to work with me EVERY DAY and has FOR MORE THAN A YEAR. AND SITS NEXT TO ME. AND HAS ALREADY ASKED ME WHAT I DO FOR A LIVING. AND ALSO GRABBED AT MY IPOD.

  Yes, sir, it’s my first day of school. But I’ve been practicing the bus thing FOREVER. One of these days, I will TOTALLY HAVE IT DOWN.

• Oh, and speaking of those young ducks heading off to their higher education? OH MY GOSH. THE MOST BELLIGERENT BUS RIDERS ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH. This one girl with major low-rise, thong-gallery jeans WOULD NOT MOVE so that a frail old woman about as stable as the Canadian dollar could have a seat. We practically had to crowd surf the poor old dear back to a seat reluctantly relinquished by a young man wearing such LARGE, NOISY headphones that we all got to share in the 99 problems he apparently has (but — thank heavens! — the bitch ain’t one.)Then two girls sat in the back of the bus whining at an incredible volume about how ANNOYING it was that they weren’t in the same ENGLISH class and OH MY GOSH why couldn’t they get something later and OH NO they were SO HUNGOVER and DO YOU HAVE LIP BALM?

  And finally? A girl who looked to be approximately 6 years old (under a thick layer of makeup) with a backpack the size of Manitoba proceeded to wobble down the aisle WITHOUT HOLDING ON and smack a different person in the face with it each time the driver braked.

  Awesome. The future of my nation.

• WHY DO PEOPLE TAKE UP THE ENTIRE COFFEE STAND TO ADD CREAM TO THEIR THIMBLEFUL OF COFFEE?I have a very large coffee, but I don’t think this entitles me to take up all the space near the lids and sugar, etc. But for some reason, the smaller the coffee, the more space and time people will need to prepare it for their departure. I watched a man practically spread-eagle across a counter to add nutmeg (!) and skim milk (!) to his eensy-weensy decaf (!). Every time someone tried to edge in to grab a lid, he would clear his throat and brandish his stirstick like he was going to teach someone a lesson if they tried to interrupt his process.

  Eventually I braved his brandishing to go get my lid and a bit of cream (I’m getting soft in my old age) and he actually said to me, “Jeez, can no one wait their turn?”

  “Well, it’s supposed to be big enough — the counter — so that a few people can use it at once.”

  “Yeah, well, this is the city, and I LIKE MY SPACE.”

  OH MY GOSH. I actually tried to take up MORE space at that point, which is difficult with my ridiculous stub arms, but I MANAGED. He made a noise like a KITTEN BEING TOSSED IN A SHOWER and skittered off out of the shop to his job, possibly as a tax collector or lancer of boils.

  GRRR.

• And finally, just a collection of various things that are irritating me right now: the US exchange rate (hello, how does anyone afford to go on vacation anywhere but Saskatchewan?); my inablity to pack a lunch; the word “fishwich”; my to-do list; people who line their lips outside of their lipline (WE’RE NOT FOOLED); and the price of chicken.

I am up to my neck in work, errands and THINGS THAT ABSOLUTELY MUST GET DONE OR ELSE I’M GOING TO BE SWEATING HARDER THAN A KITTEN HUGGING A RADIATOR this week, so my posts are either going to be:

a) light; or

b) ranty; or

c) nonexistent.

I’m sure you’d rather I skipped the rants. But you may not get off so easily. You know me. I just blog like most people blink… WITHOUT EVEN REALIZING I’VE DONE IT.

Your undying love, fervent encouragement, frequent prayers, sunny bouquets, caffeinated delights, and ridiculously funny jokes and emails are appreciated in advance.

(Hint. Hint.)

Oy.

And your Advil.

I live in a city.

In a city, you can’t always see the stars.

Sometimes the lights of the streets, the buildings, the traffic… they turn the sky into a muddy, orange-tinged black.

The neon signs are my constellations now.

But I used to work on an island.

An island where the only lights at night shone like butter pats, foursquare in the shadows by the cabins.

There, my sky was a mess of pinpoints and fingerprints of pale gold, streaking across the heavens, fading into midnight blue.

I’d swim out from the old wharf, phosphoresence gleaming on my arms and legs, and reach up a finger to trace the faint strokes of the Milky Way.

Even if you closed your eyes and dove deep into the cool, black sea, les etoiles still shone in your chest.

Now I have the city, and I love how alive the streets are, twenty-four hours a day.

But I will always miss the stars.

The “Crane” move from the Karate Kid films is maybe not appropriate for the living room.

I mean, if you have furniture.

And neighbours.

And are wearing a skirt.

Hello! Have I mentioned that I like beauty products?

I giggle as I type the words “beauty products”, because those words make me think of Coty Musk and Queen Helene Mint Julep masque and Revlon “Cherries In The Snow” lipstick and other things that you can get at Sally Beauty Supply.

At the end of the day, I just like anything that I can put anywhere on my body that will a) make it smell good; b) make it soft; c) make it seem more healthy; or d) make it pretty. I also like to begin sentences with “at the end of the day”.

BUT.

This isn’t about me.

This is about YOU.

People, it’s time for the MegFowler.com Beauty Survey! I always see lists of favourite products and “Editor’s Picks” in the magazines I read at the beach, and I thought, well, why shouldn’t we do that here? Some of us are product people, I know it. And those of us that aren’t? IT’S NOT TOO LATE FOR YOU.

I want to know the best of the best of the best of the stuff you use, regardless of your gender, your budget, or your daily routine. Because then I can steal all the best recommendations and smell/look/feel… well, SUPER.
GO!

1. Your all-time favourite shampoo and conditioner:
2. Your all-time favourite face wash:
3. Your all-time favourite moisturizer (face):
4. Your all-time favourite moisturizer (body):
5. Your all-time favourite sunscreen (face):
6. Your all-time favourite sunscreen (body):
7. Your all-time favourite fragrance:
8. Your all-time favourite masque/face treatment:
9. Your all-time favourite shower gel/body wash:
10. Your all-time favourite foundation:
11. Your all-time favourite bronzer:
12. Your all-time favourite mascara:
13. Your all-time favourite blush:
14. Your all-time favourite lipstick:
15. Your all-time favourite lipgloss:
16. Your all-time favourite hairspray:
17. Your all-time favourite hair product:
18. Any products you love that don’t fit the list: