14 thoughts on “being practical.”

1. Truly amazing. Those are some very tough questions there. I hope you can find your way through all of that…actaully, I know you can. I’m certain it won’t be easy but the end result will be beautiful.

2. Yes. Hi. My name is Desiree and I am infertile. Endometriosis destroyed my insides. I am 24. I was 22 when I knew officially. I didn’t ever really tell my mom. She still thinks that babies are an option because I couldn’t handle her reaction if I told her. I figure it will all just pan out somehow.

   All I can say about infertility is how much it still bothers me when people are intrusive, or worse yet, don’t believe me. Like I’m going to miraculously get pregnant because god makes it so.

   However, I never felt a need to have children biologically my own. Maybe I just didn’t have time. I was sick with pain as soon as my cycle even started. Babies? Let’s figure out this horrid period stuff first. After surgery, countless medications and treatments, I have come to a place where I can’t question why anymore but just move forward.

   I do think that there actually is a plan for me, and adoption could very well be in it. There are so many children out there who need to be loved. I could love one of them. I have been both overjoyed and left feeling a little empty, in an odd way, when I come across infertility blogs with now happily child endowed people.

   I cannot pretend to understand why things happen the way they do but I can say that your approach is poetic and strong. I came around here for the funny, I love the honesty. Good luck, best wishes, and all that good stuff.

3. I think you’re going to be an amazing mother. Your future children, however they come to be yours are very lucky. And, just for the record, little Chinese girls are too adorable. Have you seen the pictures of Mimi Smartypants’ (smartypants.diaryland.com) girl, Nora?

4. meg, this post just proves what a great mother you will be once you get the logistics figured out.

   my history is this: i didn’t want to have anything to do with kids until i was about 35. couldn’t get pregnant, tried and tried for two years, til i found out my husband was a drug addict. met someone new but he was married. he gave me what i wanted, my son, and we had a very brief relationship before he was murdered when our son was 2. believe it or not, i somehow always knew i’d be doing this alone.

   the support of family and friends is priceless. you’re smart to think of that NOW. i think you’re dealing with all this the only way you know how to–YOUR way. and that makes it the right way.

5. By the last two sentences I can see that you’ve already learned one of the most important lessons of motherhood.

   Your children, however they manage to find you, will be blessed. :D

   And I’m one of those people who believes that there are reasons AND reasons for the way things are. Think of the parentless children that are just waiting for you to find them.

6. meg, you will be a terrific mother, no matter how your kids come to you, but i know that it will be a long journey regardless. i wish you luck and love as you continue to figure it all out.

7. Practical is good. You are a great mommy. And sometimes, practical sucks…even for great mommies. I am glad you are able to ride the waves. Hang on!

8. Meg,

   I couldn’t help but smile as I read this post. You will be a GREAT Mom, a best friend, and the right person for some little boy, or girl who needs someone just like you.

   Hang on Hon, it can be a rough ride, but believe me, it can be well worh the ups, and downs life brings. Just remember, you do have those friends, family, and good ears here to lean on.

   Just take your time to figre it all out. Then move on to what you feel is the next comfortable step for you.

   Good luck Love!

   Hugs,

   Will

9. What a hard post that must have been to write. I’m so proud of you, Meg. You are dealing with this with so much strength and grace. I think it’s never too early to think about being a parent.

   And, just for the record, you may still be able to breastfeed. I don’t know a ton about it, but I know that it is possible to lactate even if you have not been pregnant. Check out http://www.lalecheleague.org/ for more info.

   I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

10. More specifically: http://www.lalecheleague.org/NB/NBadoptive.html

11. Child-rearing and adoption aren’t subjects I think about a lot, but this has always been my philosophy:

    Having your own children is essentially a selfish act; adopting is essentially a selfless one.

    You can tell it’s philosophy because of the semi-colon.

    Like I say, not a subject that’s at the front of my mind, but I did enjoy this podcast/diary by a writer about adopting a Kazakh baby:

    http://www.slate.com/id/2132692/entry/2132693/

12. I’m one of those women who never really wanted children; I’m not a very nurturing person. However, when we find out what I’d have to go through to have a baby, including the expense, as much as it was a relief, it still wasn’t easy. MIL and my mother went on and on about adoption, so did co-workers. And of course there were those women who would wink and say, “doctors aren’t always right, it could happen.”

    I grew very bitter and angry each and everytime my mother or an aunt would call to tell me that one of my cousins had another baby, and wasn’t I so happy for them? I really wasn’t. Not then.

    I’ve mellowed, my mother has finally accepted the fact that I’m just not a mother-type. I am happy for my fertile cousins, and I’ve been caught smiling at little ones on the bus now and then.

    I think you will be a terrific mom and there’s no greater gift for a child than you as his or her mother.

13. {{hugs}}

14. Reading your blog, it was as if it could of been written by me. I am a single, a couple of years younger than yourself, and was diagnosed with an infertilty problem a few years ago. I am currently starting on the adoption rollercoaster. I too feel there are some things I wanted to do, like breastfeed, feel a baby kick etc! But alas, here I am and I have no doubt once my baby is placed in my arms, it will be mine, no if’s and’s or but’s!