Well, that explains it.

Oh, and this.

My primary airborne mold allergy is to Cladosporium. It just REEFS on me, which is why my old apartment was killing my immune system (because the mold was holding the walls up.)

Our new place is NOT a moldfest, but Vancouver is beset with it right now. Garrr!

I have chronic asthma, rhinitis, sinusitis, and a recently diagnosed immune disorder to START with… and this just took me down. If you’ve never been short of breath on a dramatic scale, just imagine the feeling of having the wind knocked out of you, then trying to get your breath back through a milkshake straw. With milkshake still in it.

Add coughing to the mix, and you have what I experienced last night.

There has to be a better way to deal with this stuff. I’m tired of it.

So.

At work now.

Last night, around 2 am, I had a fairly major asthma attack — major for me, that is, which is not to say I usually ever need to go to the hospital. Just like I didn’t last night. But I did run out of “puffer” partway through (freak! where is my prescription?) and had to sit for 45 minutes sipping warm water and trying to regulate my breathing.

And then I had the fun of trying to fall asleep sitting up, since my lungs felt like they were inverting every time I would lie down.

Not a great way to rest. Not even a little.

So.

Still at work.

I feel oddly like my lungs have been taken out and beaten with wire hangers. And my whole body is aching and yelling at me. Have you ever taken daytime cold medication and felt like you were high and nauseous at the same time?

I didn’t take any cold medication, but that’s about right. I’m dizzy, exhausted, a bit disoriented, and my chest has a death rattle that would really entertain a baby.

And I ran out of antihistamines.

I have a busy day ahead and no time to be feeling sick or spacy. My mother is going to send me an email with lots of exclamation points when she reads this, but Mom, there isn’t much I can do.

Sometimes you just have to figure out how to breathe when it doesn’t seem possible. Which is — have you noticed? — my life theme lately. And I know I can do it.

Besides — according to the couple sitting across from me on the Seabus today, someone’s gettin’ lovin’.

Maybe I’ll pretend that’s what’s coming at the end of MY day, too. And that will keep me going.

Thanks for listening. Really.

Someday I’ll tell you how much it helps.

Wait. I just did. And on another note, I had to add the picture above because my eyebrows look EXCEPTIONAL there. And that makes me smile. And wheeze.