Ten Things That Are Less Fun Naked.

1. Tobogganing. Sure, the breeze is refreshing and bracing at first, but the first time you fall off the Krazy Karpet and get snow up the hoo-ha? You’ll be running for the hand dryers in the lodge.
2. Meeting with your accountant. Lay your finances naked before him, yes. Be open and honest. But he doesn’t need to see records of ALL your assets.
3. Spinning Class. OW. OW. OW. Seriously. OW.
4. Working in a nursing home. Yes, okay, everyone’s kinda letting it all hang out, be it a colostomy bag or a set of false teeth that get stuck in the meatloaf. But do you really need a shaky grope from Mr. Milsap in the Assisted Living Ward? Granted, you’ll make his day, but save the nudity for sponge baths. Theirs, not yours.
5. Blackberry picking. Let’s just say there are places where thorns should NOT go. And I don’t mean your hand.
6. The Fry Station at McDonalds. Not exactly the BEST way to keep the hot side hot, and the cool side cool.
7. Beekeeping. I think I had a nightmare like this once.
8. Testifying before the Senate. Because you know those dirty old buggers aren’t paying attention to your testimony. And they’re just going to keep finding reasons to call you back for more. Not to mention offering an invitation to join the “Foreign Relations” Committee. WINK WINK.
9. Mowing the lawn. Sure, some of you are bound to think this is sexy. But let’s just say that “GrassyAss” ain’t gonna mean “thank you” in a minute.
10. Arc Welding. When nudity leads to the wrong kind of bonding.

Yes, I’m so indecisive and lazy — because it’s HOT here, HOTTER THAN WE USUALLY GET, SERIOUSLY, EXCEPT FOR THAT TIME AT CAMP IT WAS 120 F AND CHILDREN FAINTED — that I can’t choose what to write about today.

Not like I’m writing RIGHT NOW, though, because I have shelves to stain and Whole Foods to go to, and a dress fitting (doesn’t all that sound glamourous? And handy? And natural?)

But later on I will. Promise. In the cool of the evening.

(Who am I kidding? It was like sleeping inside a Krispy Kreme donut last night!)

Here are my topic options:

• The sordid tale of the Great Camp Epidemic
• 25 Ways To Test Your Compatibility
• Natural Beauty Remedies That Don’t Actually Work, Sucker
• 10 Things That Are Less Fun Naked

Choose! Choose!

Okay, the random factoids that are showing up as answers to number six below are BLOWING MY MIND. You guys have some interesting things to share! Wow!

So I thought I’d start this post up to JUST be the home of random factoids.

What don’t we know about you?

What is incredible?

What is strange?

What is TOTALLY NUTS?

Do tell.

And in other news, I am watching ‘Take Home Chef’ again, and this gorgeous blonde Australian man WHO CAN COOK is doing shots of Patron in someone’s kitchen and making them a steak dinner.

THIS DOESN’T HAPPEN TO ME.

WHY?!?!