megfowler.com

June 26, 2006

You want it, you got it.

Filed under: stuff — meg @ 12:58 am

Ten Things That Are Less Fun Naked.

  1. Tobogganing. Sure, the breeze is refreshing and bracing at first, but the first time you fall off the Krazy Karpet and get snow up the hoo-ha? You’ll be running for the hand dryers in the lodge.
  2. Meeting with your accountant. Lay your finances naked before him, yes. Be open and honest. But he doesn’t need to see records of ALL your assets.
  3. Spinning Class. OW. OW. OW. Seriously. OW.
  4. Working in a nursing home. Yes, okay, everyone’s kinda letting it all hang out, be it a colostomy bag or a set of false teeth that get stuck in the meatloaf. But do you really need a shaky grope from Mr. Milsap in the Assisted Living Ward? Granted, you’ll make his day, but save the nudity for sponge baths. Theirs, not yours.
  5. Blackberry picking. Let’s just say there are places where thorns should NOT go. And I don’t mean your hand.
  6. The Fry Station at McDonalds. Not exactly the BEST way to keep the hot side hot, and the cool side cool.
  7. Beekeeping. I think I had a nightmare like this once.
  8. Testifying before the Senate. Because you know those dirty old buggers aren’t paying attention to your testimony. And they’re just going to keep finding reasons to call you back for more. Not to mention offering an invitation to join the “Foreign Relations” Committee. WINK WINK.
  9. Mowing the lawn. Sure, some of you are bound to think this is sexy. But let’s just say that “GrassyAss” ain’t gonna mean “thank you” in a minute.
  10. Arc Welding. When nudity leads to the wrong kind of bonding.

7 Responses to “You want it, you got it.”

  1. nancy Says:

    LOL! How about “Ten Things That Are MORE Fun Naked?”

  2. Phil Says:

    I disagree about the meeting with the accountant. There’s that whole thing about evaluating internal control, much more critical in these days of Sarbanes-Oxley.

  3. Maggie Says:

    Hilarious!

  4. notsoccer mom Says:

    yeah, i’m with nancy!

  5. barbie2be Says:

    coed naked lacrosse?
    coed naked hockey?

  6. Dread Pirate Robert Says:

    OK, now I want the list of the natural beauty aids that don’t work, suckas. And don’t even think about dissing cucumbers, honey. My eyeballs are positively radiant thanks to the ol’ long English.

  7. Marg Says:

    I’m with Phil. There’s an accountant working upstairs in my building whom I’ve had my eye on for a while….

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