1. A night of blissfully uninterrupted sleep.
2. Another night of blissfully uninterrupted sleep.
3. A sunny weekend.
4. A really, really good sushi dinner with TONS of sashimi.
5. A really excellent date with someone remarkably like Vince Vaughn who ISN’T dating Jennifer Aniston.
6. The innate ability to write perfectly to “voice” without extensive workshopping.
7. A lovely bag to replace my beloved work bag, which experienced the dreaded “strap-rip” yesterday. Grrr.
8. A shopping spree at MAC to replace the things that rolled out of my bag and smashed after the dreaded “strap-rip.”
9. A giant bin of sour soothers (or keys, just for Christina)
10. Total and utter allergy relief
11. My own personal swimming pool. Oh yes, and a bathing suit that doesn’t make me want to gouge my eyeballs into oblivion.
12. A cute pendant necklace that doesn’t accentuate my lack of neck (a necklace for the neckless?)
13. Sunglasses to replace those destroyed by the Fat Man and the Escalator.
14. My own kumquat tree.
15. A perfect, golden, noncancerous tan.
16. Unlimited texting minutes.
17. An inbox full of happy emails sans the letters FW:
18. A really good recipe for ceviche.
19. A sudden influx of absolutely unearmarked funds for decorating my new place.
20. The 1000 threadcount sheets I saw on sale for $80.
21. A new wallet that doesn’t drop all my cards when I open it.
22. A Dyson vac.
23. A robin’s egg blue Kitchen Aid.
24. A personal car service, at my beck and call 24-7.
25. Innate flexibility, and oh yeah… world peace.

(Just to avoid looking shallow. Oh… right. TOO LATE.)

Or so it would appear, since I seem to sneeze when exposed to… life.

I take a whack of antihistamines and vitamins and drink water like a freak. I even tried that whole “nasal flushing thing” (I know, I know, WAY too much information) and found that it made me sneeze MORE. I’ve stuck on the Breathe-Right strips, I’ve tried eliminating things from my diet, I’ve washed my sheets demonically often, I’ve vacuumed like an OCD maniac…

Nothing works.

Now, it’s not like I’m unable to function — I go to work, I do my thing, I exist rather normally.

BUT I AM DOING IT WITH REALLY PUFFY EYES AND A PERMASNIFFLE.

My friends are used to the fact that my voice deepens and gets a bit hoarse for about six months of the year. I only really truly sound like myself around October, and then the winter colds start, and it’s back to alternating between Barry White and Mickey Mouse.

I’m just TOTALLY SICK OF IT. BAH.

If you have had allergies like this and have found some sort of miracle cure, FESS UP. I need it!

SERIOUSLY.

I can’t take feeling like I’m underwater and itchy at the same time anymore…