megfowler.com

Not that they’d buy it, since my blackheads are WAY out of control, but still. Gypsies. My face. NOW.

If you don’t have allergies/nasal issues/my head, you’re probably not aware that changes in air pressure and humidity create a sensation in certain peoples’ sinuses that feels like a knitting needle stabbing you repeatedly up the nose.

And I’m not exaggerating. I wince perceptibly every ten minutes or so and have to dab the tears that come immediately to my eyes. I’ve taken to idly slapping at my nose and cheekbones like a crazy woman when the shot of itchy, itchy pain comes in the hopes that I’ll feel THAT instead of THIS and Ohhhhhhhh Please Let The Weather In Vancouver Stabilize For Ten Seconds.

Also, according to this magical page, the pollen and mold spore levels in The ‘Couv (that was for you, Holynaty) are pretty chillin’ right now and I happen to have asked my face and it says, NOT TRUE. Damn dirty Weather Network. Get your facts straight! Why would my eyes be puffed up like HoHos if things were MODERATE. Why would my nose be dripping like the tap in my old apartment if things were LOW. Why does the back of my throat itch like I’ve got a kitten sleeping there?

Seriously. COME NOW. THAT’S ENOUGH.

Even the coffee’s not helping, and when it comes to that, there really seems no reason to keep going.

Well, okay, there’s lots of reasons but THERE’S A KITTEN IN MY THROAT, I WANT TO BE DRAMATIC ABOUT IT.